Loki's Laughter
by devianttart
Summary: A nightmare from Daniel's past returns.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: Ella is my creation. I introduced her as a friend of Daniel's in my one-shot story "Photograph." Their history was fleshed out in "Picture Book" and contiued in "Perspectives." It is not essential to read them as I summerize the relationship here, but you are welcome to. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing here but Ella._

_Set mid season 9. _

* * *

Ella McPherson lay in her darkened bedroom. Unwanted tears occasionally leaked out of the corners of her eyes, trickling down to pool into her long red hair. Staring into the darkness, she rubbed absently on her abdomen. She hoped that there was some warmth working its way from her hands to her womb. Every other part of her felt cold. 

Ella's husband, Dr. Alexander Portmanoy, was missing. He was an associate professor of physics at the local university. One week ago, her had learned that he was going to be a father. Now he had vanished. Ella imagined what her baby would say to her right now. _Hey up there. Hey you! Mom! Where's that other person? That daddy person. You know, the tall, skinny guy who was so happy to hear that I was coming that he picked you up and spun you around until you thought you were going to throw up **again**. Where'd he go?_

"I wish I knew," Ella whispered. Lying in their bed, Ella could detect her husband's scent. Alex's favorite soap mingled with clean paper and ballpoint pens. It was peculiar, but uniquely, wonderfully Alex.

Alex had called her yesterday. He had to work late. He told her that he loved her and that she was to eat a salad with her dinner. Somewhere on-line he had learned that pregnant women needed an abundance of folic acid. Ella knew that she should expect eight more months of medical advice. The hazards of loving a scientist. However, she laughed and promised she would eat well. She asked him to wake her when he got home. She went to bed early.

It was only when the morning sun slipped into her room that Ella realized she had slept alone. She walked around the small house calling for him. She called his cell phone but it went straight to voice mail. So she called Campus Security. Two long hours later, they called her back. Alex's office was locked tight. They had found his cell phone lying in two pieces under his car.

Feeling more scared every moment, Ella called the police. On the phone, they were less than helpful. After all, an adult wasn't officially missing for 48 hours. So Ella pulled out the biggest gun she had. She sharply informed the voice on the phone that her husband was a civilian contractor for the Cheyenne Mountain facility and they were both "close, personal" friends of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill, the former base commander. She had never understood what that title meant, but using it got the desired effect. If it was a slight exaggeration, she didn't care. The voice promised that an officer would be over soon. As soon as she ended that call, Ella called her real connection with the base, Dr. Daniel Jackson.

Ella and Daniel had known each other over half their lives. They had lived with the same hellish foster family when they were young. They stayed in intermittent contact until they reunited by chance in Colorado Springs. As adults, their relationship changed and they became lovers. That all changed when Daniel had been declared dead for over a year. After he returned from parts unknown, he had no memory of Ella. By the time they found each other, Ella had met Alex. Thankfully, Ella and Daniel were able to remain friends. She considered Daniel the only family that she had, other than her husband. At her wedding, it had been Daniel who walked her down the aisle. At this moment, Daniel was Ella's lifeline.

She cursed loudly when her lifeline went straight to voicemail. She was beginning to hate modern technology. Her message was short, just asking him to call when he got this. During the two hours she waited for the police, Ella called every friend that she and her husband had. Had anyone seen Alex? Had anyone talked to him? If they heard from him, would they please call her? Thanks. Over and over and over.

She wanted to keep busy. Her mind was trying to go in directions that she didn't like. Her sweet and kind and brilliant husbandhad just started a new weapons project for the military. Ella hated when he did weapon work. Alex's mood would turn very dark. As well, Ella had a healthy distrust for anything connect to the military. Weird things happened to people who worked for the Cheyenne Mountain Complex. She needn't look any farther for proof of that than Daniel. She didn't even know with any clarity what Daniel _did_ for the government. She just knew that it was dangerous and classified and it made him disappear for weeks at a time. Hell, the man had come back from the dead. If that wasn't the definition of "weird" what was?

The offer had come in this week, a day after she'd told him about the baby. He was so happy about the child. They were both hoping for a girl. Alex had already priced starter chemistry sets. As being an associate professor did not pay all that well, the government contract was too well paying to turn down.

Finally the police arrived. So many questions…Where you and your husband having problems? Had you been fighting? Could he be having an affair? Are you? On went the interrogation. Stifling her natural temper, Ella answered every question. The police selected a photo of Alex and told her to call them if he didn't resurface within 24 hours.

Evening came. Ella knew that she should eat, but the idea of food turned her stomach. She took the phone into her room and lay down. Blindly, she punched Daniel's number. Voice mail. "Daniel, it's Ella." For the first time that day, she heard her voice crack. "Please call me. Something's wrong. Alex is missing." She clicked off the phone.

Now she lay in the dark. Waiting. She continued to rub her belly. "Alex," she whispered into the night, "please come home. We need you."

* * *

TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

_Previously: _

_Evening came. Ella knew that she should eat, but the idea of food turned her stomach. She took the phone into her room and lay down. Blindly, she punched Daniel's number. Voice mail. "Daniel, it's Ella." For the first time that day, she heard her voice crack. "Please call me. Something's wrong. Alex is missing."_

* * *

Daniel sat in a stuffy office trying very hard not to snore his way through what would be the _last_ hour of this meeting. It was astounding how boring saving the planet could be when broken down to financial terms. And it took hours. 

All department heads had to attend. It was time to account for the last year and plan for the next. The results of this would be taken to the Joint Chiefs for budget planning. Daniel hated it. He wasn't a numbers person. But the most math friendly person he knew was Sam and she was already sitting next to him, almost drooling in her stupor. To amuse himself, Daniel started to poke her arm with his pencil. He was curious how many times he could get her before she noticed. He counted eight by the time she perked up and swatted at him.

Finally the meeting ended. Everyone stood and stretched, yawning as they exited. Sam turned to talk with Daniel. "You know, these meetings would be more fun if we were actually fighting for the money. You know, actually having to wrestle something. Shoot someone, maybe. Instead we have to sit here. Accounting. For every. Little. Thing." She dragged the last part out slowly.

He gave her a weary smile. "I know. At one point, I think I was praying that a herd of stampeding Jaffe would break down the door."

"Good times," Sam sighed longingly.

They separated at Sam's office and Daniel continued to his own. He was surprised to see how late it was. He had been in that stuffy little room literally all day. He decided to gather his stuff and go home.

There were two messages on his cell phone, both from his friend Ella. That was unusual. He put his coat down and listened. After the first message, he was concerned at the tone of her voice. The second message did not make him feel better. As he started to call her back, his office phone rang. "Dammit," he muttered. "This is Jackson," he said into the phone.

It was General Landry. "Dr. Jackson, I need to see you in my office right away please."

The "please" notwithstanding, the general's voice made it clear that this was non-negotiable. Daniel said he would be right there and grabbed his stuff and headed to the elevator. In the several minutes it took to get there, he pondered Ella's messages. Alex was missing. Ella must be out of her mind with worry.

When Daniel had first met Alex, they were not sure what to do with each other. There was obviously some feeling of rivalry. After all, Daniel had known Ella for a very long time and he felt rather over protective of her. But that wasn't it. There was something about the tall, quiet physicist that just made Daniel uncomfortable. As with many things, it took one of Jack O'Neill's "bull in a china shop"- style observations to point out what it was.

"Christ, Daniel, it's like having another you around," Jack said after first meeting Alex. As soon as Jack said it, Daniel realized it was true. Dr. Alexander Portmanoy was much like Dr. Daniel Jackson would have been if things had turned out different. If Daniel had never learned to shoot a gun. If Daniel hadn't lost his wife. If the Stargate Program had never existed, in other words. Watching Ella and Alex together, Daniel had to let go of his lingering "road not taken" feelings. After that, friendship was easy. Alex knew everything that Daniel had been to Ella, from foster sibling, to friend, to lover and he accepted Daniel anyway. He had no reason not to; Alex loved and trusted his wife implicitly.

The whole SG1 had attended the wedding. Even Janet Fraiser had come. Ella had no family to invite other then Daniel so he had shared his family with her that day.

"Sir, you wanted to speak with me?" Daniel had reached Landry's door.

General Landry looked up from the file he was studying. "Dr. Jackson, I understand that you are acquainted with a certain physicist named Dr. Alexander Portmanoy?" He pushed the file over to the archeologist.

Daniel was very surprised to be looking at a picture of Alex's face. It was a blown up photo, probably from his work ID. "Yes sir. What's - "

"He's missing," Landry interrupted.

"I know. I am very close to his wife. She left a message for me and I was just about to go over to her house."

Giving away nothing, the general continued his questions. "That would be Ella McPherson?"

"General Landry, what's going on?" Daniel asked.

Choosing not to answer, Landry gave Daniel a penetrating look and leaned back in his chair. "How long have you known Ms. McPherson?"

Exasperated, Daniel sat down. "Ella and I became friends when she was twelve and I was fourteen. We were placed in the same foster house. Sir, Alex is also a friend of mine. Is there something that I should know about his disappearance?"

"As you know, Dr. Jackson, anyone associated with the Stargate Program is extensively checked out, however minor their association. When all of SG1 went to the wedding of Ms. McPherson and Dr. Portmanoy, Ella was investigated. She didn't know about it, but protocol required it. Her husband had been checked out previously. He had contracted to do some work with the base. Nothing serious, but he was very good. Good enough that we approached him with a job offer. He refused. His reason was that his then-fiancée would, quote, 'eviscerate' him if he ever agreed to work for the military full time." Despite Daniel's deepening concern, he smiled. That sounded like Ella. "He did however agree to work with us as a contractor as jobs came up."

"I'm sorry but I still don't understand how you found out about his disappearance so fast. Are we investigating it? Oh god," a terrible thought occurred to Daniel. "Is Alex working on something for the SGC now?" Ella would burn this place to the ground if that was the case.

Tapping his pen on the folder in front of him, Gen. Landry looked pensive. "When Ms. McPherson tried to make a report to the local police. It seems that they were not that helpful so she told the police that her husband was a very close friend with Jack O'Neill. I guess she was hoping that that would light a fire under their asses and it seems to have worked. This report arrived on my desk 45 minutes ago. Any time something that might be connected to this base gets reported to the local PD, we get notified. But there is a big problem with this report."

"What?" Daniel patience was beginning to shred but he kept his voice level.

Giving Daniel a level stare, the general finally got to the real problem. "In her report, Ms. McPherson clearly states that her husband was doing weapons research. There is no record _anywhere_ of Dr. Alexander Portmanoy doing ever doing weapons research for any branch of the US military."

"But - but that can't be true," Daniel stammered his response. "Ella has mentioned his work before. He's done several projects in the past two years. I don't know what they were, but Ella always complained that they made his mood go sour. He didn't like the work, but he needed the money."

"Dr. Jackson," the older man sighed, "we haven't contracted with Dr. Portmanoy at all this year. Whoever he is working for, it ain't us."

"Then who…" Daniel trailed off in confusion.

"Here is what we know. Someone who is closely connected to you, a top SGC member, is married to a missing scientist who has either been betraying his country, lying to his wife, or…" He voice rose up to lead Daniel to the next point.

"He's been tricked," Daniel realized.

"Exactly," Landry seemed to like this theory best. "There is nothing in this man's file that would target him as a potential spy and he turned down a lot of money at his wife's request. So, him being a pawn in this seems the most likely. And there is another thing." He dug around in the folder. What he pulled out was a crumpled napkin. He passed it over to Daniel. "This was found next to Dr. Portmanoy's cell phone. The campus police thought nothing of it. Luckily, our people thought it was important. Does it mean anything to you."

Daniel stared at the small pencil sketch feeling himself pale. The drawn object was pyramid shaped, rough surfaced. He recognized it instantly; despite the years he had spent trying to forget it. It was a nightmare come to life for him. After all, he'd once tried to take over the world with it.

_No_, he reminded himself. _It was just a vision. It never really happened. I never killed all of those people._

Gen. Landry watched Daniel's reaction, impassively. "It looks a little like a Goa'uld weapon of some sort, doesn't it?"

Daniel had to swallow past the sudden dryness in his throat. "General Landry, does this thing exist? Have we made it?"

"Do you know what this _is_ Dr. Jackson?"

How could he tell the general what this was? He had never given anyone all of the details of that vision, not even Jack. "Sir, I need to know. Does this exist somewhere!" He was on his feet now, leaning over the desk his voice getting louder.

Slowly, Landry got to his feet as well. "Not as far as I know, Dr. Jackson. Now sit down and tell me what you know."

Feeling a little weak-kneed, Daniel took his seat and proceeded to tell General Landry what he had never told anyone. It had always been a great fear of Daniel's that someone would make that weapon. And all of the details on how to make it were still somewhere in Daniel's head.

Whenhe finishedthestory, not mentioning that he was pretty sure he knew how to make that weapon a reality, he looked up at the base commander. "Please sir. I have to go. Ella needs me now and she might know something that can help us. If this has anything to do with Alex's disappearance, we need to know _right now_."

Landry nodded. "Go. Take Mitchell with you."

"Wh -" Daniel was about to ask why when he realized; Cameron didn't know Ella. General Landry wanted an impartial person there. "Yes sir. I'll give him a call."

"Don't bother. He's waiting for you up top."

* * *

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

_Athors note: I had to do some actual research for this story (aren't I impressive?) The book that I haveDaniel translating below came from The Witches' Goddess, by Janet & Stewart Farrar. _

_Warnings: Some language._

* * *

Previously: 

When he finished the story, not mentioning that he was pretty sure he knew how to make that weapon a reality, he looked up at the base commander. "Please sir. I have to go. Ella needs me now and she might know something that can help us. If this has anything to do with Alex's disappearance, we need to know _right now_."

* * *

Daniel let Cameron drive to Ella's house. His mind was too full for safe driving. Although he had no idea how, Ella's husband was involved in the creation of a weapon of such destruction that there was no defense against it. More than that, it was a weapon that had only ever existed in Daniel's head. He had never given anyone details about it until tonight out of fear that someone would try to make it. And anyway, as far as he knew, Earth's current level of technology could not manufacture it. So why was there a sketch of it, presumably in Alex's handwriting, lying under the missing physicist's car? 

"And where the hell is Alex?" Daniel muttered out loud.

"What's that Jackson?" Cameron glanced over from the driver's seat.

"Sorry, just thinking out loud." Daniel removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

Cam glanced over at his friend and teammate. Daniel looked tired and deeply worried. Cam had been given only a brief amount of information from Gen. Landry. He was to help Daniel find out what had happened to one Dr. Alexander Portmanoy, a physicist who happened to be married to Daniel's best friend. The missing doctor was working on a weapon for someone who was not the United States military. Cam knew that there was some sort of Goa'uld technology in the weapon. It was Cam's job to be an objective investigator. "So, I am finally going to meet your friend Ella."

"Hmm?" Daniel pulled himself out of his dark ponderings. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Too bad I couldn't have met her before this."

"Mitchell, if I had had my way, no one in SGC would have ever met her," Daniel replied.

"Why's that? Afraid that she would give away all of your secrets?"

Cameron's tone was teasing, but Daniel was not in the mood. "Every member of SG1 has lost someone they loved or cared for because of their involvement in the program. Every single one of us, in one way or the other. I have had two women who loved and trusted me implanted by the Goa'uld. I thought I could keep Ella safe from all of this." There was no anger in Daniel's voice and the absence made his words all the sadder. He just sounded resigned to the fact that he had failed someone else.

Not for the first time, Daniel had made Cameron feel very foolish. "I'm sorry. We'll find your missing friend and make sure that Elladoesn't get hurt."

"Sounds good." Other than directions, Daniel was silent for the remainder of the ride.

Ella still lived in the small house that she had purchased before Daniel had ascended. As they approached the front door, Daniel saw that the hallway light was on. The rest of the house was dark. She lived in a quiet, residential neighborhood. As it was almost eleven, Daniel was fairly sure that her neighbors would be asleep. He wondered if Ella was.

"Ella, it's me." He knocked on the door.

After a few moments, the tall red head opened her door. Though she was holding herself straight and wasn't crying, there was something in her eyes that gave her pain away. Fear was cracking through her façade.

"You got my message?" She asked her best friend.

"Yes. How are you holding up?" She gave a small shrug that tore at Daniel's heart. He remembered how hard it was to answer questions like that after Sha're had gone missing. He pulled Ella into his arms. At first she tensed, as if his touch hurt, then she relaxed, briefly, into the hug. He was shocked at how cold her hands were. "Ella, you're freezing."

"I know," she said.

He put his arm around her and walked towards the living room in the back of the house. "Cam, can you put some water on to boil? Kitchen's over there and there's a kettle on the stove."

"Sure thing." Cam went into the tidy kitchen, filled the kettle and set it to boil. Poking around a little more, he found chamomile tea bags, honey, and some mugs. "Jackson, you want some coffee?" He went to the doorway and looked out.

Ella and Daniel were seated on the couch. There was a soft throwaround the woman's shoulder's and she had her arms around Daniel's midsection. Despite the desolation radiating from her, Ella managed a slight smirk. "You know he does."

"I'll get it started." Cam disappeared back into the kitchen.

Ella disentangled herself from her friend. "Alex is missing," she told him plaintively.

"I know," Daniel replied. "Do the police have any leads?"

"Fuck, Daniel, the police don't even think he's missing." She leaned her head forward into her hands and looked at him sideways. "They just think they have a hysterical wife who's husband runs around on her. But that's not Alex. I know that's not what's happening." She sighed deeply. "The only reason that they even agreed to come out here was because I used Jack O'Neill's name. I hope that's okay. I would have name-dropped God if I thought it would have helped."

"Actually, it's good that you got the military involved in this."

She sat up straight. "Why?"

"Ella, what was Alex working on, right now?" Daniel knew that this would involve some careful stepping. Ella distrusted everything involved with the Cheyenne Mountain Base. Sometimes that included Daniel.

"Well, aside from his usual school stuff, Alex just signed on to another government contract. Weapons research, although it seemed to be fairly theoretical."

_Theoretical?_ "What do you mean?" Daniel asked.

"Well, of course he couldn't tell me anything, but he did say that he couldn't see this coming to anything. It was too much, too advanced."

"Do you know anything else about it?" He prodded at her

"Do _you_ know anything else?" Her walls were slamming in place and she was getting irritated.

"Okay, you've told me that Alex has done other contracts involving weapons research for the military, right?"

"Yes."

"And you've told me that neither of you like him doing weapons and he only does it for the money, right."

Slight pause. "Yes. Daniel, as you probably know, the majority of all scientists in America work in weapons research."

"And you've told me that Alex has done at least two other contracts like this in the past two years, right?"

Her voice got dangerously calm. "Are you interrogating me, Daniel?"

Daniel looked at her, knowing how this last comment would sit with her. "Ella, there is no record of Alex ever working for the United States military on any weapons project, ever."

"That's not true." She was on her feet.

Daniel stayed seated. "Yes, it is."

"My husband wouldn't lie to me."

"He may not know that he is."

At that moment, Cameron came out of the kitchen carrying a tray filled with coffee and tea. The wall of tension he stepped into rocked him on his heels. "Coffee? Tea, anyone?"

The other two people in the room ignored him. Ella spoke again, "Please explain what you just said."

Daniel tried. "I wouldn't lie to you about this. Whoever Alex is working for, it isn't us."

"Then who is he working for?"

There was the big question. "I don't know."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever work from home?" Cameron asked.

Ella spun to face him. "Who _are_ you, anyway?"

"Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell, ma'am." Cameron put the tray down and held out his hand in greeting. She didn't take it.

"I'm sorry. Ella, this is Cameron Mitchell. He took Jack's place. Cam, Ella. Ella, does Alex keep any of his work here?" Daniel asked her.

"Probably…" She gave Cam a doubtful glance.

"Ella, you trusted Jack. You can trust Cameron." Daniel assured her.

"He's not Jack, Daniel." She shot back.

Cam muttered. "If I had a dime…"

"Then trust me," Daniel replied.

She took a steadying breath. "Okay. Come on." She grabbed her mug of tea and led the men to the office in the front of the house. It felt so wrong to let anyone poke around Alex's desk but it had to be done. "The safe is under his desk. That's where he keeps everything." She knelt down and worked the combination that she was not supposed to know. "There's not a lot here and most of it looks like computer gibberish. He probably had most of it with him when – when he went to work."

Daniel started to dig through the hand-written notes. Cameron turned to Ella with another thought. "Ms. McPherson, do you have any records of how your husband was paid for these jobs?"

She thought for a moment. "Um, yeah. I might be able to pull stuff down from our records on-line. I think our bank scans checks and stuff like that." She booted up the computer and logged on. This work was making her feel good, even though she was digging through her husband's classified information. She knew the safe combination, but she had never looked in it before. She just liked knowing that she could get into it. Her eyes flew over the columns of numbers in her bank records. "Okay, here. It looks like he did direct deposit for the last two jobs. I don't think he has been paid for this one yet."

"Do you mind printing that out?" Cam asked.

Engrossed in his own reading, Daniel did not hear what Cam and Ella were talking about. Ella had been right, there wasn't much left. However, what was there…Daniel was looking at a more detailed drawing of the same creation that had been on the napkin. This sketch had measurements. Paper-clipped to the sketch were several pages of notes. One looked like technical schematics. As that was a language that Daniel absolutely did not speak, he would need to have Sam look it over. The second looked like an ancient Teutonic language that Daniel had not come across in years. The third was unmistakably Goa'uld. The symbols that were written in the over-precise handwriting of someone who did not know what he was saying, Daniel could read, "…sometimes we choose our gods and sometimes they choose us…" Daniel passed the schematic notes to Ella. "Is that Alex's handwriting?"

She glanced up from her printouts. "Yeah, that's his. What is it?"

"Technical schematics. I'll have Samantha Carter look it over. I think that you need to come with us tonight. You'll be safer at my place."

"I can't leave here. Alex might call. He might come home, Daniel."

"I don't think so." Daniel had to make her understand. "I don't think you're safe here."

She pushed back from the computer screen. "Why? What's in those notes? Technical schematics you would have expected to find. Why are you so freaked?"

He knew she wasn't going to like this. "I can't tell you what it is. I just need you come with me."

"No. I am not going anywhere with you. You need to tell me what you know."

"I can't."

And there it was. The block that always stood in the middle of their friendship. As children, they had told each other everything. As adults, Daniel had to keep his secrets. Ella tried to understand, but it always hurt.

"Get out," she finally said.

Daniel blinked. "What?"

"Get out of my house. Take what you need to find Alex, but leave." She walked toward the office door.

"Wait a minute, Ella." He ran after her and grabbed her arm.

She shook him off. "No, Daniel. My husband is missing. I get that you have your secrets and that there are things that you can't tell me. But this Alex, _my _Alex. For all I know, whatever you are not telling me could be the thing that keeps him from coming home to me. Do what you have to do, but _get the hell out of my house!_" She walked across the hall and slammed her bedroom door closed.

He went to follow but Cameron stopped him. "Let her go, Jackson."

"But -"

"She's angry and scared. She needs someone to blame and right now, that's going to be you. Give her some time."

Daniel did not want to go. He wanted to know that Ella was safe in his house tonight. But he knew that it would require dragging Ella out by her hair with the mood she was in. As soon as they got to the car, he would call the police to watch the house. Cam and he could just sit in the car until they showed up.

The pair pulled papers together and exited. On the small porch, Daniel paused and tried to clear his head.

"So, Jackson, what did you find in there?" Cam turned and saw that his companion's attention was elsewhere.

Most of Ella's neighbors and their guests parked in driveways. The road was narrow and while street parking was allowed, most people agreed that it was a sure way to get a dent. The compact, non-descript gray van did not seem to be aware of that concern. Daniel was positive that the van had not been there when they first arrived at the house.

"Let's get to the car," he replied. Once they were seated he gave instructions. "Drive past that van and turn right. About half a block down, there is an alley that connects to Ella's backyard. She's coming with us."

* * *

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: This was originally one chapter with Chapter Three. But it was very long. So I separated them into two. I think this works better._

_

* * *

_

_Previously:_

_"Let's get to the car," Daniel replied. Once they were seated he gave instructions. "Drive past that van and turn right. About half a block down, there is an alley that connects to Ella's backyard. She's coming with us."_

* * *

As they passed the van, Daniel stared hard into his rearview mirror. He saw movement in the front seat and a glint of light reflecting off of something inside that was not the dashboard.

"What is it?" For all his goofiness, Cam Mitchell was not stupid. He knew that Daniel had seen something out of place on this quiet little street.

"There were notes in Goa'uld in the safe. That van wasn't there before. And there is someone in the front seat. Whatever's going on, I am not going to let Ella get hurt because she is too stubborn to listen to me."

They pulled up behind the house. Blessing whatever compulsion made him always carry Ella's keys with his own, Daniel climbed out of the car and crossed the back yard. He let himself in the back door without making a sound, just in case anyone was listening in. He wanted to get Ella out silently and that meant she could not start yelling at him the moment that she saw him. And that meant…

He heard running water in the kitchen. Daniel crept in behind his friend and covered her mouth with his hand. Knowing what her next move would be because he had taught it to her, he sidestepped to avoid her hard elbow jab and foot stomp. "Ella! It's me. Stop!" he hissed into her ear.

Only her shock kept her silent. Holding up his hand to ward off questions, he went into the living room and turned on the television, loudly. When he saw Ella in the doorway, he held his finger up to his lips.

"Excuse me? Did you just shush me? I threw you out. What the hell are you doing here?" Despite her anger she was keeping her voice down.

Daniel walked over to her. "I need you to come with me. Please."

"I already said no."

"Ella, listen to me! There is a van parked outside here. I think someone is watching you. You are not safe here."

Without warning, Ella broke into a run. She was almost at the front door by the time Daniel caught her. He picked her up off her feet while she fought furiously.

"Let me go, goddammit. They know where Alex is! Let me go!" She landed a solid kick to his shin and reached back and grabbed a handful of his hair.

"Ow. Ella, stop it!" Daniel was trying to contain her, but it was a struggle. He had taught her all of the self-defense he knew. As she was almost as tall as him, and build solidly, it was a close match. He finally resorted to pinning her face-first into the wall and leaned his weight onto her. "Listen to me! You're husband is not in that van. I am not going to let you run out there. We don't know who they are, Ella. They could be waiting to grab you or kill you or I don't know what!"

"Let me go." Her voice was muffled.

"Not until you calm down."

"Daniel…"

"Ella…"

She resumed her struggle. "Let me go, you motherfu-" Suddenly, Ella went limp.

"Ella? Ella!" Daniel realized that she had fainted. _Oh my god, what did I do?_ Panicked, he swung her into his arms and carried her out the back door.

Cameron saw Daniel coming and scrambled to help. "Jesus Christ, Jackson. What'd you do to her?"

"I don't know!" He lay Ella on the back seat and ran around to the other side to get in the car. He lifted her head so that it rested in his lap. He checked her pulse and breathing. Both were strong. "We have to get her to the base. She passed out."

Looking at Daniel through the rearview mirror, Cam took in the messed up hair, flushed skin and the general air of agitation around the archeologist. "Did you two get into a fight?" He asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Um, sort of. I told her there was someone outside and she tried to run out there. I think she thought she would find Alex with them or something."

"So to stop her, you knocked her out?"

"I did not knock her out!" Daniel protested. "We were struggling and she…well, I…I pinned her into the wall so she would stop kicking me. Then she went limp and…you know what, just drive, okay?"

So Cameron drove. Occasionally he glanced to the back seat and watched Daniel watch Ella. Daniel was lightly stroking her long red hair, looking scared. "You know, Jackson, I don't want you to knock me out or anything, but are you sure that Cheyenne is the best place to go? Maybe we should just take her to the hospital."

"Why?"

"Well, it's a military base, and a top secret one at that. I'm just not sure that Landry's gonna' cotton to having a civilian dropped in our midst. Especially one whose husband seems to be working for the bad guys."

"I can't believe that Alex would knowingly work for the 'bad guys,' whoever they are. Could you call ahead to the base and let the infirmary know we're bringing someone in?"

Cam flipped open his phone and made the call. Daniel continued to watch Ella. Despite what he had said, he was really scared that he _had_ knocked her out somehow. Pinning her to the wall was the only thing he could think of to keep her from running out the door. The look in her eyes had told him she was past the point of reason. Daniel knew what that felt like. Nine years ago he had offered himself up to be implanted with a Goa'uld just to stay with his wife. That level of panic and fear could only be dealt with by an equally strong response. He just wished that Ella would open her eyes now.

Conscious thought slowly trickled back to Ella. Wherever she was, it was dark and uncomfortable. Confused she reached out. "Alex?" Her voice creaked.

"Ella? You're awake?"

That wasn't her husband's voice. Why was…"Daniel?"

"Yes. Yes, Ella, it's me." There was a strong current of relief in his voice. Ella struggled to open her eyes. She was in a car, lying in her friend's lap. Who was driving? Why was she here? Then her memories returned. Alex was missing. Daniel and her had fought. And Daniel…

"You kidnapped me?" She shot upright, instantly regretting the action. Pain speared through her head and the world spun around her.

"I did not kidnap you. I took you with me for your own safety. You just didn't agree to go."

"You kidnapped me." She repeated.

"It does kind of sound like kidnapping," Cam contributed from the front seat.

"Stay out of this!" Both former foster siblings yelled at him. Then they turned to face each other.

"I need to find my husband," Ella stated clearly.

"We will. I need you to trust me." Daniel answered back.

Trusting Daniel was so much a part of Ella that it might have been encoded into her DNA. After a long moment of consideration, she simply said, "Okay."

He held out his arm to her. "Lie down, Ella, we are taking you to a doctor." She put her head back into his lap. The world's spinning slowed. "How do you feel?"

"Like I'm going to throw up."

"Let me know if you are going to. I really like these shoes." Her small laugh was barely heard. She reached for him and wrapped his arm around her, pressing his hand to her heart. As he held her, Daniel felt the small tremors that shook her body as she pondered her husband's fate.

Daniel's heart ached for what she was going through. He no longer allowed himself to dwell on those first terrible days after Sha're had been taken. He had forgiven himself for that after many years. But he never forgot what it had been like.

The car turned into the Cheyenne Complex. Ella raised her head to look out the window. "Where are we?"

Fumbling for his ID badge, Daniel replied, "We are about the enter the Cheyenne Mountain Base." He passed his badge up front and heard the Lieutenant Colonel explain who Ella was. They were allowed to pass.

"No. I don't want to be here." Ella tried to mount an actual protest, but she felt so sick and weak that she couldn't. That just made her angry. She made her self sit up, telling Daniel exactly what she thought of his high-handed attitude and what she would do to him as soon as she had the chance. When the car stopped, she yanked the door open. Maybe she couldn't stop Daniel from bringing her here, but she would be dammed if he was going to carry her.

Her bravado lasted approximately one step. Her legs would just not hold her. Luckily, Mitchell was there to prevent her from swan-diving into the pavement.

"Whoa, there. I got you." Cam carried her to the awaiting wheelchair. Then they all took the elevator down to the infirmary level.

Daniel was surprised and pleased to see Carolyn Lam come out from her office this late. "Good evening Dr. Jackson. What do we have here?"

"This is Ella McPherson. She is a friend of mine. She passed out about half an hour ago and has been feeling sick and weak ever since."

"I can speak for myself, dammit." Ella had spent the elevator ride cringing in embarrassment, but she hated having people speak about her as if she wasn't in the room. She just had to focus and she could follow the conversation.

"Okay, Ms. McPherson. My name is Dr. Carolyn Lam. I am the Chief Medical Officer, here. I just want to look at you and see what's wrong, okay?" She flicked her penlight into Ella's eye's, pleased to see that the pupilary response was good. "When was the last time you ate?"

Ella tried to remember. When was the salad? Alex had said that she needed Foley Acid or something. No, she needed Folic Acid. "Ella?" Dr. Lam prodded.

"I'm sorry. I don't know. What time is it? I had a salad, but not today." She was so tired. Why was everyone looking at her like that? "Daniel, please, can I have some privacy? There's just too many people in here."

Dr. Lam nodded to a nurse who wheeled Ella over to a bed and pulled the curtain. While Ella was placed into a gown, Daniel briefed the doctor on what the night had been like.

"Okay," Dr. Lam said. "It could be that she just fainted from lack of food. Combined with the shock it would make sense. As for you, General Landry left explicit instructions that you were to report to him as soon as your friend was here."

Daniel did not want to leave. "But-"

"Come on, Jackson. By the time the general's done chewing us out, the good doc will have Ella back to rights." Cam steered Daniel out of the room.

Ella, now clad in a cheap cotton hospital gown, leaned back in the bed. She watched as the petite dark haired doctor entered the space.

"Ms. McPherson, how are you feeling?" The doctor inquired.

Struggling to dig through the soup of her brain, Ella responded bluntly. "I am tired, nauseous, and oddly hungry. Dr. Lam, I'm pregnant."

The doctor registered that with a slight elevation in her eyebrows. "Really? How far along?"

"About six weeks. Daniel doesn't know so please don't tell him. I just didn't want to tell him when we were surrounded by all of those people."

"All right, well I just want to run some tests and I am going to give you a pelvic exam to make sure everything is fine, okay?"

All of Ella's emotions had faded to numbness. She lay still during the tests, moving only when asked to. She couldn't comprehend that a little more than 24 hours ago she had been eating a salad, waiting for her husband. She had been planning the dinner that Alex and her were going to host when they asked Daniel and Alex's sister to be godparents. Was that all just yesterday?

Some time later, the exams and tests were all over. Dr. Lam snapped off her gloves and helped Ella out of the stirrups. She elevated the top of the bed. "Good news, everything seems fine. I think you passed out from stress and lack of food. I am going to give you an IV of saline and have some soup sent up from the kitchen." She pulled back the sheet and revealed Daniel just coming back in the door. "And I think someone is here to see you." Dr. Lam walked away, patting Daniel on his arm, comfortingly.

Ella reached for Daniel's hand. She looked into his eyes, but said nothing.

"Ella, we are going to find him." Daniel said.

"Daniel, Alex and I are going to have a baby." She watched the emotions ripple across his face. Surprise, happiness, grief and concern. Finally Daniel reached and gave Ella a huge hug.

"We will take care of you," was all he could say.

When he released her, Ella spoke again. "Just so you know, I fainted because I hadn't eaten. No other reason. The baby's fine."

Relief washed over his face. He gave her a heartbreaking smile. "Good."

Her soup arrived. She ate as much as she could before her fatigue got the best of her. Daniel helped her recline the bed. "Stay with me until I'm asleep?" she asked.

"Of course." He leaned over and kissed Ella's forehead as she closed her eyes. Ignoring all of the work he had to do, he watched her sleep.

* * *

TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the delay in updating. I seem to be having a lot of trouble writing for Daniel in Season 9 but I really wanted to explore what the changes he has gone through would do to a friendship he has had for most of his life. You won't see much of that in this chapter, but it will be in the story._

_Thanks must go out to the creators and writers of Wikipedia who prevented me from making a **great big** continuity error. Who knew they had information on **Stargate**?_

_In the last chapter, Cameron's line should have read, "Especially one **whose husband** seems to be working for the bad guys."_

_

* * *

Previously:_

"Stay with me until I'm asleep?" she asked.

"Of course." He leaned over and kissed Ella's forehead as she closed her eyes. Ignoring all of the work he had to do, he watched her sleep.

* * *

Ella slept deep and hard. She was exhausted. She did not wake when her bed was wheeled from the regular infirmary to the medical isolation room. She did not stir when Daniel finally had to leave her side, nor did she notice when a larger, silent man replaced him in his vigil. 

In the darkness, she dreamed…

_She lay in a warm, white room. To her side was a beautiful rocking chair that held her husband, rocking a baby in a pink blanket. The baby slept, rocking back and forth, back and forth. Alex was singing something to soft for Ella to hear. She treasured the sight in front of her. Her husband's features, so dear to her heart. His dark, almost black hair. His paintbrush eyelashes, framing soft gray eyes. The sharp, prominent nose; the "Portmanoy nose," he had called it, laughing. Ella watched his long strong fingers rub the baby's back in circles, widening, growing smaller, over and over. The baby's face was buried in her father's shoulder, but Ella knew that there was a light dusting of bright red hair and sleepy gray eyes._

_Alex turned and looked at his wife. "Look what we made," she said to him. He continued to rock. "I love you, Alex." She reached out her hand to touch him, but he was too far away._

_"Ella, we have to leave," he replied._

_She struggled to sit up. "Oh, okay. Where are we going?" _

_He stood, still out of reach. "Not you. Just the baby and I. We have to go. We are not even here."_

_She tried to understand. The warm light of the room was growing brighter. "What do you mean? You can't leave me, I love you."_

_"I already left. The baby left."_

_"But you haven't left. You're still here. Stay here."_

_"Ella, the baby doesn't want you."_

_"Yes, she does. I'll be good to her," Ella begged, feeling tears in her eyes. "Please, Alex, don't take my baby. She's too young. She needs me!"_

_"We have to go." He began to walk away. She saw him rub the baby's back in ever-widening circles._

_"Alex, come back. Why are you doing this?"_

_"Ella, you won't be a good mother. It's better this way."_

_"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she sobbed. The light was hurting her eyes. "Don't take my baby. I'll do better, I'll **be **better. Don't leave me Alex, please. Alex. Alex!"_

Tears on her face, her husband's name on her lips, Ella jerked into consciousness. She found herself staring into the intense gaze of a large, dark-skinned man. She tried to catch her breath while her eyes darted around the unfamiliar room. "Where's Daniel?"

"DanielJackson has left the base to pursue information concerning your husband's whereabouts. Ms. MacPherson, are you well?"

"Please call me Ella." She squinted up at the man, wondering where her glasses were. "I remember you. I danced with you at my wedding."

He nodded his head solemnly. "Indeed you did."

"What is your name again?"

"Teal'c."

"Teal'c, right." Ella spotted her glasses on the bedside table and she slipped them on. The room came into dim focus. "Teal'c, where am I?"

"You are in the medical isolation room of the Cheyenne Mountain Complex."

"Am I sick?" Instinctively, shetouched her abdomen.

"No, you are not sick," Teal'c assured her. "There are many things on this base that might be dangerous to a civilian. General Landry requested that you stay in this room until other accommodations could be made. DanielJackson requested that I stay with you so you would not awaken alone."

"Okay, thanks." She thought for a few seconds, chewing her lip. Her brain felt scrambled. "Can we turn up the light a little?"

"Certainly. And I will notify Dr. Lam that you are awake."

While he turned up the light and called the doctor, Ella closed her eyes. Her dream came back to her. _Alex didn't leave me_, she reminded herself. _He wouldn't leave me._

Teal'c came back to her bedside. "Dr. Lam will be here in a moment. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"I'm a little hungry. And I would like to sit up." Teal'c helped her adjust her bed.

"I will get you some food once the doctor has come in."

She felt so tired but she did not want to sleep again. After a few moments, she asked, "Is there anything to read here or anything?"

"Would you perhaps like to watch a movie?"

She looked at him and smiled. "Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"I am currently enjoying the works of an actor named Tom Hanks. Do you enjoy him?"

Ella was beginning to like this man. He speech patterns werevery unusual buthe had a voice that she could fall into. It made her feel safe. "Do you have _Apollo 13_?"

"It is one of my favorites."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Earlier that morning, Daniel Jackson had started his day on far too little sleep. Much of his night had been spent watching his friend sleep in the isolation room. At one point he drifted off to sleep, only to dream about the weapon. His weapon. He had been sitting in front of a view screen, looking down at Abydos. His hand was on the firing button. He knew he was about to murder thousands of innocents and he did not care. They were weak and he was strong. That was all the permission he needed. As his hand slapped the button,Daniel woke up. His pulse was pounding and he was sweating in the cool dimness.

In her sleep, Ella was frowning. She looked desperately unhappy. He reached over to smooth her hair, willing the anxious lines away. He thought of all the times in the past that he had smoothed away Ella's nightmares, or she his. He had known most of what she feared in the dark. She knew little of what he did. Now, he worried that somehow his life had hurt her. Was Alex's disappearance connected to him? Daniel would never forgive himself if something happened to Ella's husband because of her relationship with him.

He'd slept enough. It was 0400. There was work to do but he could not do it from here. Outside the isolation room stood two armed guards that General Landry had ordered watch the civilian. Daniel went to Teal'c quarters, briefed him on the events of the previous night, and asked the Jaffe to watch over his friend. Daniel was concerned that if Ella were to wake up on her own in an unfamiliar setting with only armed guards for company she might react in such a way that Dr. Lam would be required to sedate her. Or shoot her.

Once in his office, Daniel laid out all of the information that he had about Alex's work. There was precious little. He had a pencil sketch on a napkin that showed the weapon from Daniel's vision. The same weapon was reproduced in greater detail, complete with schematics in the paper that Daniel had found in Alex's safe. Next to these, he laid the two scraps of paper that had writing on them. Consulting his books, Daniel learned that the Teutonic writing said the same thing as the Goa'uld script; "…because sometimes we choose our gods and sometimes they choose us…" _So what does that mean?_ Daniel asked himself. His eyes strayed around his room. It was possible that he would find the quote in one of his books, but he decided to try the Internet first.

A quick search revealed that the quote was in reference to the Norse god, Loki. _Well, that makes no sense._ SG1 knew Loki very well. He was a renegade Asgard scientist who had attempted too clone Jack O'Neill a few years back. As far as Daniel knew, Loki was still in Asgard custody. At any rate, the weapon was Goa'uld not Asgard. It was possible that the weapon was an Asgard design that the Goa'uld had appropriated but that didn't sound right to Daniel. This weapon just wasn't in the Asgard style.

Daniel leaned back and drank deeply from his coffee mug. He had never put any time into researching the weapon after he had had the terrifying vision. It was one of the few times in his life he had avoided knowledge. He never wanted to know more about where it had come from or what it could do. He chose to assume that the weapon only existed in his own mind. Now he was forced to accept that the weapon was real, could be built and that Alex Portmanoy had some connection to it.

There were too many questions. Who was Alex working for? What did he know? What did the Asgard have to do with any of this? Was Ella in danger? _And where was Alex?_

Daniel wanted to call his team together, but it was too early. And he made a mental note to call Jack. He would want to know what was going on. Rather than spend the next few hours watching the hands of the clock move, Daniel buried himself in research about the legend of Loki.

Loki was a Nordic trickster god. Other gods often came to him for favors, but rarely did anything for him in return. However, Loki always found a payment of some sort. He was reputed to be a shape-shifter and a fire devil. Some stories wrote him as the father of the Midgard serpent that circled the ocean.

That struck a cord in Daniel's mind. He considered how the weapon worked. Several large cannons, positioned in orbit around the Earth. Designed to work alone or as a group, each individual cannon was capable of massive amounts of destruction.

So, had this weapon existed before? Daniel could easily see how lasers coming out of the sky and destroying land could evolve into a myth about a serpent and a fire god.

The archeologist's tired brain was beginning to loose focus. In his mind's eye, he could see a serpent rise from the sea and ravage a village. Daniel saw villages burned to the ground, terrified humans running away but still caught ina white-hot fire, vaporized instantly. His mind created screams that the people would not have had time to voice. He could smell the charred flesh of what was once a living human being. An apocalypse that he himself had created.

For the second time that morning, Daniel jerked awake, his heart lodged in his throat. He reached for his coffee and was surprised to find it stone cold. It was 0715. It was time to call his team.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Samantha Carter was pulling up in front of the pretty two-story house at the same time that Daniel was pulling into the driveway. He had only given her the briefest amount of information. She knew that Ella's husband was missing and that somehow the Goa'uld were involved. But that explanation didn't account for the deeply disturbed look in Daniel's eyes. As she walked over to her friend and teammate, Cameron Mitchell's car pulled up behind hers.

As soon as all three were standing in the yard, Daniel began to talk. "Okay, Mitchell knows some of this already, Sam you'll catch up as we go. Ella's husband, Alex, disappeared sometime in the last 36-48 hours. It seems that the mild mannered astrophysicist was actually designing weapons for someone who was not the United States or the Stargate Program. Whether or not he knew that is uncertain at this point. What we do know is that the weapon he was working on is of Goa'uld design and until yesterday only existed in my mind thanks to a vision given to me by Shi'fu, the Harcesis child."

His rapid monologue was followed by a long silence. "And good morning to you too, Dr. Jackson," Cameron finally said wryly.

"Daniel, did you get any sleep last night?" Sam asked.

"No, not yet, not really. Why do you ask?" Daniel took a sip of coffee. Barely waiting for an answer, he continued. "Okay, so come on. We need to find something that tells us where Alex is. Who took him and why. Sam, I have schematics on this weapon that I need you to go over. I need to know what this thing can do and if we can build it because everything I know says that Earth technology is not up to the challenge yet so why is it being worked on? What? Why are you both looking at me like that?"

"No reason," Cameron answered, exchanging a look with Sam.

Daniel took a breath and tried to line up his thoughts. "Okay, I know this is a lot of information and it's not making much sense. Let's go inside and I will explain everything."

As the team approached the front door, they noticed something that made them all pull out the guns they were carrying under their street clothes. The cheerfully painted front door was open. Not enough to notice from the street, but it was cracked open far enough to prove to Daniel that someone had been here last night after he and Cam left.

Sam signaled Cameron to go around the back. Then she and Daniel slowly, silently opened the front door all the way.

The house had been trashed.

Daniel and Samantha crept down the front hallway on full alert. The office was a mess. Books were strewn about the floor, file cabinets had been opened and emptied. In the bedroom, the bed had been flipped and the dressers were emptied.

When they reached the living room, Sam unlocked the back door and let Cameron in. "Nobody's here," she told the Colonel.

Cam holstered his gun. "Well, I gotta' say, Jackson, I feel better about kidnapping your friend last night."

"So do I." Daniel was kneeling by the bookcase. Two framed photographs lay on the floor, glass broken. One was a wedding picture of Ella and Alex. It was a candid shot, taken when they thought no one was looking. It was Ella's favorite. Next to it was a snapshot of Daniel and Ella from when they were much younger, living together in a foster home. He knew that Ella would scream if she saw the mess of her house. She would not forgive the invaders any time soon. Careful of the glass, Daniel placed the photographs on the coffee table and sat back on his heels.

"Wait a minute," Sam said. "You two kidnapped somebody? Daniel, what's going on?"

_Where to begin?_ He considered everything that happened last night and then started the story. "Last night, after our budget meeting, I got a message from Ella that her husband was missing. Then I got called to General Landry's office where he told me the same thing. It seemed weird that the General would be involved in acivilian's dissaperance, even a civilian who had contracted with the SGC, but then things got much more complicated."Daniel told them about the weapon, and how hehimself had first enccountered it.This was something he had never told Samantha about before. "Alex was apparently working on this weapon. The thing is, I have never told anyone until last night what was in the vision that Shi'fu gave me. I put in my report that he taught me a 'lesson' and left it at that. I never explained how or what the 'lesson' was. I knew that if I breathed a word of how destructive this thing is, someone here would try to make it." He looked into Sam's worried blue eyes knowing that she would understand what he was trying to say. "I took over the world with this thing. I destroyed Moscow with it. All because Russia dared to disagree with me." He held up the pencil sketch that Alex had made. "_This_ is what Alex was working on. It's identical." Sam took the papers from his hand and began to examine it. "We have to find Alex. We need to know whom he is working for because I bet that is who took him. And if someone _is _building this weapon…we have to stop them. We have to…" Spent, Daniel closed his eyes and leaned against the couch.

Sam and Cameron exchanged another worried glance over Daniel's head. "Jackson," Cam said, clapping his hand on Daniel's shoulder, "we are going to find him. Let's get started."

They were there for hours. Daniel and Cameron sorted through all of the papers on the floor, passing over anything that looked remotely technical to Samantha. Daniel kept a lookout for anything in an unusual language. But there was nothing. Just when they reached a point where they were going to have to admit defeat, Daniel's cell phone rang.

"This is Jackson," he answered.

The voice on the other line was very familiar but still surprising. "Hey, Daniel. What's going on?" General Jack O'Neill asked.

"Jack?" Daniel asked. He saw Sam and Cameron's heads turn towards him. "I was going to call you today."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, there's –"

"You wouldn't by any chance be looking for a missing astrophysicist, would you?" Jack interrupted.

"Yeah, I am. How did you know?" Daniel looked over at Sam with a question in his eyes.

"Daniel, I am a General now. I do have some sources. Granted, I don't honestly know who this one was, but, never mind. Look, I'm coming down to you."

"What do you mean."

"I mean, Daniel, I'll be at the base in 90 minutes. Seems there's some stuff we didn't know about Alex."

* * *

TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

_Previously: "I mean, Daniel, I'll be at the base in 90 minutes. Seems there's some stuff we didn't know about Alex."_

* * *

For the millionth time, Dr. Alexander Portmanoy rested his head on the white table. Barely aware he was doing it, his fingers trailed across the black and white photo of his wife. He didn't care that the cameras could see him in his moment of weakness. Right now, it was only the thought of Ella that was keeping him sane. 

When he had first woken up in this room, his head had hurt so badly that he couldn't think of anything else. When the pain finally receded, he was able to open his eyes and look around him. He was lying on the floor of a small cell, shoeless and cold. There was a table and two chairs in the middle of the room. Bathroom facilities were tucked into the corner of the room. Everything was under the watchful eye of a camera.

Once he was on his feet, Alex saw an unlabeled manila on the table. He opened it and three pictures spilled out. They were all black and white surveillance photos of Ella. Fear sliced his heart, cutting through his confusion. One picture showed Ella leaving her office. The second was of Ella sitting alone in their living room. That picture could only have been taken from their back yard. But it was the third picture that tripped Alex into panic. It showed Ella skipping down the steps of her ob/gyn's office, a huge smile on her face. She was wearing the same sweater that she had been wearing the day she told Alex that he was going to be a father.

_They know,_ he realized. _Who ever 'they' are, they know Ella is pregnant. _

Pain in his head forgotten, Alex snapped. He pounded on the door, demanding to be let out, screaming to be told who was keeping him. He beat at the door with his fists, finally kicking it in frustration. Pain lanced through his bare foot. He staggered over to the table before he fell to the floor. He had to think. He had to _think!_

Random thoughts spun through his mind. Had they grabbed Ella too? Was she somewhere stuck in a small room, pregnant, scared, and alone? The idea was tortuous. Ella hated small spaces. He needed to know. He could only hope that she was safe. He didn't even know how long he had been here, unconscious. By now Ella might have called the police. Surely, she would have called Daniel Jackson as soon as she realized something was wrong. Perhaps this abduction would finally reveal just what Daniel did for a living, Alex speculated dryly. Ella often hypothesized about the nature of Daniel's work for her own amusement. Her current theory was that Daniel ran a cartel of alien prostitutes and ninjas. Bleakly, Alex wondered if he would be rescued by a band of scantily clad ninja hookers with antenna and green skin.

This had something to do with the weapon, he was sure. Why had he ever agreed to work on it? He had never liked weapons research; it went against everything that he wanted to be. But he was so very bored, doing nothing but teaching physics to college students. The first time the military had approached him, the work was exciting. He was asked to consult on a plane design. Considering the holes in his background, he was very surprised when he was offered a full-time position on the Cheyenne base. However, by that point, he had fallen in love with Ella and knew that she would not want him to work for the military. She did not trust it, at all. So he simply left the door open for future contracts. And when they came he told himself that it did not matter that the assignments were weapons related. The projects paid enough to set up a tidy "nest-egg" for the future. That was all he wanted. A safe quiet lie.

He looked at the photos again. It had always baffled Alex that Ella, so perceptive when it came to Daniel Jackson's secrets, never suspected that her husband had his own. Alex loved his wife more than anything and she was far more than he deserved. She was vibrant and funny and loving. Most of all, Ella was open and honest and expected the same from those she loved. Alex was a liar. He didn't lie about many things. And he did not want to lie about anything. But he had to. It was the only way he could live with himself. But, he had never lied about loving Ella. He had never lied about knowing how lucky he was to have her in his life. Alex's lie was much simpler and far worse. Alex had lied about being a good person.

This project had come at such a good time. The pay was nice. The assignment was odd, though. Alex had not been given any names of other people working on it. It seemed he was to be alone. And the technology…it was unthinkable. He was asked to reverse engineer an orbital weapons system based on the schematics he had been given. At first, it seemed impossible. He could theorize how to make it work, but it was nothing more than a mental exercise. And then it stopped being theoretical. He didn't have all the answers yet, but he knew in his gut that he could make that system work. And it was terrifying.

The destructive capabilities of the weapon were truly awesome. He could take out a whole city with just one of the cannons and each was designed to work in conjunction with many, many more. As he stared the results of his tests, eyes flicking from his computer screen to the papers he had been sent when he accepted the project, he noticed something that he had not seen before. At the bottom of the schematics, written very lightly, was something that did not look like technical writing. He recognized the symbols. He couldn't read them, but he knew he had seen them before. That was when he knew that he was in serious trouble. He had to quit the project. Whatever the cost, he could not make this weapon. When Alex went to work that day, he left a copy of his notes inhis safe. He had no trouble hiding his distress from Ella. She already accepted that his mood would be a little "off" when he was doing weapons work. At his office, he pulled everything he had been working on together. He would look over some of it later, after he had extricated himself from this mess. When he left that night, he thought he might be safe. The next thing he knew, he was waking up here. He'd been too late.

Time went by. Alex had no idea how long he had stayed in that room. A day? Two days? The lights never dimmed. Food appeared periodically through a slot in the door. He slept a little. His panic and fear finally burned out leaving only a numb sense of resignation. Only the increasing roughness on his face gave him any sense of the passage of time.

Now, he rolled his head over and looked at the picture he was touching. He prayed to a god he did not believe in to protect his wife and child. He was not sure if he would ever see Ella again. Maybe it was better this way, he thought, drifting off to sleep.

Despite his fatigue, every one of Alex's senses went on alert when he heard the doorknob turn. He stood up; needing to face whatever was coming on his feet. He did not know what to say when a dead man walked in the door.

"Hello, Alex," the dead man smiled at him warmly. "Oh, pardon me, it's Dr. Portmanoy, isn't it? Professor of astrophysics? It is so nice to be working with you again."

Alex found his voice. "Dr. Gillson?" Even as Alex spoke to his former mentor, he could not believe it. The short, kindly looking man was supposed to have died years ago. Alex remembered the newspaper article and the strong sense of relief. The world was a safer place without Dr. Gillson in it.

"Yes, Alex, it's me. Oh, come on. You didn't believe the reports about the car accident, did you?" The older man laughed, genuinely delighted. "That was just…well, let's just say that it was time for me to…move on. There have always been people whoagreed with my more controversial ideas. They helped me disappear. Come, sit with me."

Alex eyed the two men who had entered with Dr. Gillson. Both were holding guns that were not quite pointing at him. Seeing no option, he sat down across from the man who had given him more nightmares than anything else in his life. "So, you found others who believe that it is okay to murder almost two dozen people in the name of 'research'?'"

"Dr. Portmanoy, I murdered no one. If memory serves me at all, I seem to remember it was you who gave the final injections."

Alex paled. "I did not know what I was doing," he replied, softly.

"Of course you didn't," the older doctor placated him. "Alex, that was years ago. So much has changed." He reached for the photo of Ella leaving her doctor's office. "You've gotten married. And I hear there is a child on the way." The gray haired man smiled proudly at his former student."She's pretty, Alex. I am sure you wouldn't want anything to happen to her."

"What do you mean?"

Dr. Gillson looked at his former student. "Alex, there are threats in this world that you know nothing about. But you can help us. We need you. I need you to work with me again."

"What!" Alex had to have heard that wrong.

"Think about this. You were an excellent medical researcher. Your work in theoretical astrophysics shows genius potential. You just need some encouragement and guidance and challenges. You have potential to help save the world. Not just be another professor growing old as his students do nothing but sleep through lectures."

"You are telling me what the world needs? You? You're a murderer."

"I have murdered no one."

"Oh, that's right. You had me do it for you."

The two doctors faced each other across the table. Dr. Gillson seemed saddened by Alex's words. "Alex – Dr. Portmanoy, you have to understand. You are not a student anymore. You are not a child. You are a man. And you are about to become a father. Wouldn't you do anything to assure your child's safety?" When Alex remained silent, Dr. Gillson plowed on. "That's all I was doing. I was trying to cure a disease that has killed millions of people."

"So was it worth it?" Alex asked, raw anger seeping out of him. "Did we cure anything? Were those twenty dead bodies the price of success?"

"I will regret their loss everyday. However, had we succeeded, we would have stood next to Jonas Salk inmedical history."

"Instead we get to stand next to Mengele in Hell."

Dr. Gillson's cheery blue eyes went flat. "Your attitude is unwarrented. There is something you need to know, Dr. Portmanoy. You've been working for me for the last two years. The weapons contracts, the money, it came from me. I thought it was time to take our relationship out of the shadows. We have been watching you. I know that you spotted the clues. I left them for you. You finally made the connection between this weapon and me. But, I think you had decided to back out of this job. I can't have that. Not now. You owe me. If it hadn't been for you, no one would have known about the people who died. All I am asking for now is that you do this one thing for me and we are even. Is that too much to ask? After everything I have done for you?"

"After all – What have you done for me? All you gave me was two years of my life that I can't talk about! I had to leave medicine because I couldn't even forgive myself for what I did. All you ever did for me was turn me into your personal assassin!"

The older man's hand lashed out and gave Alex a stinging backhand. When Alex moved to jump to his feet, the guard behind him shoved his face onto the table and held it down. "Grow up, Alex. Patients die all the time," Dr. Gillson spit at him.

Alex managed to turn his head toward the other doctor. "Not twenty patients die in the same day. I killed them. _You made me kill them all to hide your failure!_"

The older man stood and looked down on Alex in disgust. "Let him go," he said to the guards. They released the pressure and Alex got to his feet. "You know, there were others who wanted to do this differently. We have been watching your wife as well as you. We even tried to bring her here, but it didn't work out. However, I need what you know. I know that you can build that weapon. Whether or not you _want_ to is of no interest to me at this point." Dr. Gillson rapped on the door sharply. Two men opened the door and pushed in a blanket-covered box. "The experiments that we were doing…I was never allowed to tell you what we were using for the cure. Now I can."

He pulled the blanket away from some sort of aquarium. Inside it, was a writhing snake-like creature swimming in water. As he watched, the snake turned towards him, baring a fanged mouth that snapped at the glass. Alex jerked away and the two men who had been standing guard grabbed his arms. He struggled against them but they forced him to his knees. When he continued to struggle, one of the men twisted his right arm painfully behind his back. "Dammit! What do you want?" Alex yelled at the gray haired man.

Dr. Gillson was pulling on a pair of long, rough gloves. He removed the cover off of the aquarium. "Alex, I want you to build the weapon. I know you know how. Either you choose to do it, or I will _make_ you do it. The choice is yours."

"No. The weapon won't work. It's too advanced. Nobody could make it work!"

"Lying is pointless. You will tell me."

"_This_ is pointless. Kill me if you want, but I can't do what you are asking."

Dr. Gillson let out a deep sigh of regret and shook his head. "Such a pity. Killing you is _not_ what I have in mind."

* * *

TBC 


	7. Chapter 7

_Warning: Language

* * *

_

Previously:

"_This_ is pointless. Kill me if you want, but I can't do what you are asking."

Dr. Gillson let out a deep sigh of regret and shook his head. "Such a pity. Killing you is _not_ what I have in mind."

_

* * *

_

_The invasion began. Biting, ripping. Destroying all that was before It. So long. It had been so long! The savage pleasure of taking, stealing, claiming. Penetrating._

_The host would fight. They always did. But the host would lose._

_They always did._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ella lay flat on her back on the bed in the VIP room that she had been moved into. She was trying to meditate to stay calm, not her greatest skill. Teal'c had been called away by his superiors. Before he left her, he had shown her into this room. She hated it.

'_VIP room', my fat ass_, she thought to herself, opening her eyes once more. It was not small, but there were no windows. Every time she considered that, and just how far underground she seemed to be, her chest tightened. There was a television that she didn't want to watch, books she had no interest in reading and a door that had a guard with a gun perched right outside it. They could dress it up all they liked but Ella was in a jail cell. All of her good mood from that morning had faded away with the passage of time and the lack of any news. She needed fresh air, she needed to see Daniel, she needed to get off this base, and she needed to do _something_ to find her missing husband! Her internal rant escalated. She had not asked to be brought here. How dare they keep her against her will? What gave them the right to keep a civilian locked up? It was just more of Daniel's typical 'he's so fucking smart, he knows better than anyone else.' _Asshole._

She tried to calm herself. She knew that the stress she was under, combined with the fear and anger pulsing through her system was not healthy. Closing her eyes, Ella tried to count her breaths the way her yoga teacher had taught her. _Inhale-2-3-4, Hold-2-3-4, Exhale-2-3-4-5-6-7_. It was just so hard to ignore the impulse that wanted nothing more than to go pound on the jarhead standing outside her door and flee this cell.

Finally, she heard a welcome knock on her door. "Ella?" Daniel's head popped in. She sat up fast, hoping…but no. She could tell from the look in Daniel's eyes that he had not found Alex. She lay back in the bed, fighting off the despair that surged in her chest.

He came and sat next to her. "Ella, we have just started to look. I know you're scared, but please don't give up. You are not alone in this."

She continued to stare at the ceiling, blinking fiercely. "I want to go home." Her voice cracked on the last syllable.

"I know you do, but…you can't. Not yet." He picked up her hand and tried to rub some warmth into it.

"Why not?" She pleaded with him, meeting his eyes. "What difference does it make if I'm here or there? And Alex might call – or – or - he might come home."

"Ella – you're house - someone was in your house last night, after we left."

She sat up. "What?"

"They were looking for something. I am not sure what. Your house is a mess. It looked like they went through everything."

This violation of her privacy came as one more blow to her battered nerves. She leaned forward, groaning, raking her fingers through her hair. "Why is this happening?"

"That's what we are trying to figure out. Jack O'Neill is coming here in a few minutes. He thinks he has some information that might help."

_Jack O'Neill?_ "Jack's coming? Why?" Then she realized;"This has something to do with you, doesn't it?"

Daniel met her accusation straight on. "I don't know," he answered softly.

"So it could." She searched his eyes wanting him to deny it, to say that Alex's disappearance had nothing to do with Daniel's secrets, but he said nothing. "You always said that if I knew too much I could get hurt. Did Alex disappear because of you and me?"

"Ella, I don't know. We don't know what happened yet. I know how badly you want this to make sense, but please don't do this."

She wasn't listening. Head buried in her hands, she was remembering a fight she had once had with Daniel. It was the only time she had ever been scared of him.

_Leave, he had yelled at her. Get out of here! People like you get hurt. Just…please…get the hell out of my life!_

_But Ella, just as stubborn as he was, stood firm. No, she replied, confused and scared. _

_For one brief second she had though that Daniel was going to…but no…he spun around and slammed his fist into the wall behind him, splitting the skin on his knuckles. _

_Silently, anger spent but still not looking at her, Daniel sunk into the sofa. He allowed her to bandage his bleeding hand. After some time, she led him to bed. That night, he cried in his sleep, muttering the name 'Sarah,' over and over. Ella was awake for hours. They never mentioned the fight again._

Why hadn't she left? If not then, any of the other times he had warned her, refused to tell her something. Maybe if she had just listened to him, Alex would be okay. None of this would have happened. But Ella knew that she had stayed because it was Daniel and even at his angriest, Daniel would never hurt her. If Alex was missing because of her connection to Daniel than it wasn't his fault. It was hers. She had been warned.

It felt as though someone was coring out a significant part of Ella's heart. When she looked at her friend, Daniel's blue eyes reflected that he was trying to understand where she was coming from, but her words had hurt him as well. She didn't know what to say. "Can I talk with Jack?" she finally asked.

"We have a meeting in a few minutes. I'll come back afterwards and tell you what I can."

"What you can? It's my husband that's missing. I just want to know what happening."

"Ella, I don't know what Jack is going to say. Some of the meeting might be classified. I can't - "

"Classified?" she spit at him, cutting him off. She pushed him away and climbed off the bed. His words, combined with the weight of her guilt drove her straight to fury. "You can't fucking classify my fucking husband!"

She watched him suppress his own temper that was rising in response to hers. "Look, I need you to let me do my – our – job. I will tell you what I can, but you are safer staying here and staying out of it."

"Fuck safe! And you know what Daniel, fuck you. I am getting out of here and I am going to find Alex."

"You know, if you can't worry about your own safety, at least think about your baby, Ella," Daniel finally snapped at her.

Ella's head snapped back at his words. Some part of her mind, the part that wasn't going crazy from fear and anxiety knew that she was being unreasonable and was behaving horribly to the one person she could count on to get her through this, but that voice was being drowned out by the shrill, high, persistent shriek of panic. They glared at each other for a long, painful moment.

It was Daniel who broke the stand off. "I brought you something from your house." His hand was shaking a little as he reached for the duffel bag he had brought in the room with him. "Just some clothes and some books that I thought would make you more comfortable."

She took the bag from him and he headed towards the door. Hating herself for doing it, Ella fired one last parting shot. "So Daniel, when your wife disappeared, did you just sit back and stay safe while someone else looked for her?"

His back stiffened and he halted his step, but he did not look at her. He stepped out the door and pulled it closed behind him. She was locked in again.

Emitting a cry of rage, Ella flung the damn duffel bag at the door.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_The assault continued. Poison spread, fiery pain scalding the helpless host from the inside. He tried to fight, to resist, but he didn't know how. The invader felt a vicious thrill. The pain was just beginning.

* * *

_

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Previously: "So Daniel, when your wife disappeared, did you just sit back and stay safe while someone else looked for her?"

* * *

Samantha Carter was standing outside the VIP room when Daniel exited. They both flinched when they heard a muffled thump from the other side. Judging from the awkward smile on her face and from the way the guards were carefully not looking at him, Daniel could only surmise that some of his argument with Ella has trickled out into the hallway. _Great,_ he thought. _Just great. _

Sam gave Daniel a small, encouraging smile as they headed down the hall. Ella had been placed in the most distant VIP room from the main activity area of the base.

"So, how is she doing?" Sam asked in a very neutral tone.

He gave her a dark look. Daniel was still trying to calm the emotions that Ella's last comment had elicited. The saying _"Your family can push your buttons because they installed them"_ ran through his head. "Not good. She is scared and upset and is blaming everyone from God on down for her current predicament. I seem to be only one step below God on that list." Daniel knew that he was being unfair in asking Ella to "sit and behave" while her life was falling down around her. It was something that he would never have been able to do himself. But how many nights, after Sha're's death, had he wished that he _had_ sat back and let someone else be the one who had gone into that tent with Amonet? In his mind, he had spent countless nights retracing his steps. Sha're had been saved hundreds of times in hundreds of different circumstances. He was trying to spare Ella some of that torment. But he knew that if things did not change soon, Ella would be doing far more than just climbing the walls in frustration. She might flat-out demolish them.

The teammates entered the elevator and Daniel leaned against the back wall, self-consciously wrapping his arms around his chest. "You know, Sam, I had a chance to keep Ella out of all of this," he voiced the concern that had been plaguing him all day. "When we found each other out here, I already knew just how dangerous it could get. But she was the only real family that I had. I didn't want to let her go. But later, after Sha're died and Ella and I…" he couldn't finish the sentence. "What if this really is my fault?"

"Daniel, we don't know what has happened to Alex," Sam responded with compassion. "And even if this is because of his connection to you, we will find him. It will be okay."

Daniel didn't feel as confident, as much as he wished he did, but he knew that he did not have time for the self-pity he was indulging in. "You're right. We will find him."

The conference room was already pretty full, holding Cameron Mitchell, Teal'c, and Generals Hank Landry and Jack O'Neill. From the sounds of the intense conversation, Cameron was updating the Generals about the morning trip to Ella's house.

Jack turned to greet the new arrivals. "Daniel, Col. Carter," Jack smiled. "Join us. Col. Mitchell here was just telling me about a new Goa'uld weapon…" His voice went up as a question and he raised his eyebrows in Daniel's direction.

Dammit. "Um - " Daniel stumbled. He was not ready for this question yet.

"All in good time. Sit down kids, we gotta talk." Daniel and Sam choose chairs while Jack opened the file in front of him. "What I am about to share with you does not leave this room. Of all the secrets of the Stargate Program, this one was buried so deep that no one even knew it was there. About six years ago, a top-secret cancer research program was started by this man, Dr. Quinn Gillson." Jack passed around a picture of a benign looking man with fluffy gray hair. "Alexander Portmanoy was the senior research assistant."

"But Alex is a physicist," Daniel protested.

Jack held up a piece of paper. "Alexander Roth Portmanoy. Double major in biology and astronomy from Collier University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Chose a career in medicine and was halfway through his residency when he was hand picked for this study."

"But that doesn't - "

"Daniel," Jack held up a hand to ward off further questions. "Let me finish." Jack consulted his notes again. "The project was showing a lot of promise. There were twenty patients, each with a different form of cancer. All were showing improvement. But, then, something happened. The people funding the experiment seemingly got spooked and told Dr. Gillson to terminate the project. He took them at their word. He had Alex Portmanoy inject them all with an unknown substance. Within three hours, every last patient was dead."

"Oh my god," Sam breathed.

"Yeah," Jack replied. "There's one more thing you should all know. Dr. Gillson was using Goa'uld symbiotes for his research."

There was a horrified gasp from almost everyone in the room. Daniel was silent. He felt ill. He had personally checked out Alex's background as soon as Ella told him she was in love. Daniel had found nothing indicating that Alex was anything other than a good safe man. Nothing that indicated there was a secret of such magnitude lying beneath the surface. Nothing that would have made Daniel keep Ella far, far away from him.

He looked up and realized that everyone was staring at him. He had known Alex the best; their faces seemed to be saying. Hadn't he had any idea? He searched for something to say. "Um…did Alex know what was going on?"

"From what little information I have, it appears that Alex Portmanoy did not know what was going to happen when he administered the final injection. He had been told that it was just another part of the treatment. There is no indication that he knew the true nature of the experiment."

"Sir," Mitchell spoke up, "how does something like this happen? How did they get symbiotes?"

"And how is this the first the we're hearing of this?" Sam added.

Jack's hard tone revealed the depth of his anger. "It seems that this project was funded by the 'rogue' elements of the NID. When the more 'legit' side found out, they rushed in to shut it down before anyone on the outside heard of it. It seems that there was the feeling that twenty dead cancer patients would look bad to the outside world. Unfortunately, they were too late. When they got there, all they found was a panicked Alex Portmanoy, a few hysterical nurses, and a stack of corpses. Dr. Gillson could not be found for questioning, and, in fact, was reported to be dead not long after all of this happened"

"Good God," Mitchell seemed to be speaking for everyone in the room.

"Jack," Daniel just could not get his brain around this situation, "I don't understand. The SGC did a background check on Alex. I did one myself. Where was all of this information then?"

"When the NID found the bodies, they took Alex into custody. They detained him for three weeks. Three weeks during which he did not have a lawyer, no contact with the outside world, nothing. He told them everything that he knew and they finally somewhat believed him. Before they released him, he had to sign a non-disclosure agreement. In exchange, he requested that his own record was cleared. He wanted it wiped clean of any hint that he had ever worked in medicine. He got his doctorate in astrophysics and seemingly never spoke of any of this again. When the NID buries something, it goes deep. And they have the connections to make sure that no one finds out there is even a hole with something in it. After all, if there was anything suspicious about Alex's records, tracking it could lead to the NID. They know what they are doing when it comes to secrets."

It felt as though a bomb had gone off in Daniel's head. He needed coffee; he needed sleep. "We're missing something. What does all of this have to do with Alex being missing?"

Jack answered, "Some of the names that I was given of the major funders of this research are also suspected of being involved in the Trust. And Dr. Gillson, presumed to be dead? Well, all I know is that the car accident he was supposed to have been in was horrific; the body was burned beyond recognition. It could have been anyone. Now, Daniel, what do _you_ know that you haven't shared?" Jack looked at the younger man with an expression of annoyance mixed with concern.

Daniel met his friend's gaze before his own eyes fell down to his hands that he had clenched in front of him. It was time, he knew it. After so many years of keeping this nightmare to himself, this would be the third time in 24 hours that he had talked about it. And this time, he would tell them everything. "When Shifu came down to me, he gave me a vision. He gave me the knowledge of how to build a massive orbital weapons system of Goa'uld design that would circle the earth. It was immensely powerful. Creating it – changed me. I had Teal'c assassinated, Sam imprisoned. I had the United States government jumping to my beck and call because I knew how to create this thing. On the day that the weapon came on-line, Jack, you came to my house. At the last minute, Russia wanted to back out. They were going to attack us. Anyway, I decided that I did not have to listen to them or anyone else." He looked up at Jack. "Despite your best attempts at killing me, I used just one cannon of the hundreds that had been created, to annihilate Moscow and effectively take over the world." He paused and gripped his hands harder as they had started to tremble faintly. Fatigue, he told himself. "Just one cannon is all it took. The weapon that Alex is - was - working on is the exact same design."

He waited for someone to be shocked at what he revealed. To him, his susceptibility to the power he had obtained revealed a weak, terrible side to himself that he had feared ever since. It was only when he looked around at his friends and saw that none of them were looking at him with disgust that he was able to say _"It was just a dream"_ and really believe it.

"So," Gen. Landry spoke up for the first time, "What we have, then, is a missing physicist with a hidden past with the Trust and he might have the knowledge of how to make this weapon. Is that everything?"

Not quite. "The Asgard are involved," Daniel added.

"What? How?" Jack said in complete disbelief.

The archeologist shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know how, but they are. Loki."

Jack made a sound of disgust at the mention of that particular Asgard. "Well, I guess we should put a call out. Gah. I hope it's not him that answers it."

Gen. Landry tapped his pen on the table while he considered the next things to do. "All right. At this point it seems that there is little else we can do. If the Trust is involved, no doubt we will know soon what they want. Hopefully the Asgard can help us get one step ahead of them, at least. Col. Carter, I want to you to look at the information that Dr Jackson found on this weapon. Figure out what you can. I think we will need to know how to protect ourselves from it. Dr. Jackson, I am sorry, but I need you to find alternate housing for your guest. We can use one of our regular safe houses but this base is just not a good idea. I will, however, assign two guards that will watch her at all time. And I am ordering all of you to get some rest. We're gonna need it."

"Yes, sir. Um…General…s," Daniel indicated both of them men infront of him, "I would like permission to share some of what we have learned with Ella. She is going crazy and has the right to know about her husband."

"Daniel, do you realize how many issues of national security are involved in this?"

Daniel smiled a little at Jack's words. "Jack, we're talking about the person she loves more than anyone else in this world. Ella doesn't care about national security any more than I did." Daniel knew that Jack understood _exactly _what he was saying. "Look, I know what to leave out, but I have to tell her something. And even if I told her about the Trust, do you think anyone in this country would be surprised to learn that there was a corporate conspiracy to take over the world?"

The two General's exchanged a glance. "Be that as it may," Jack answered him, "try to leave that part out, okay?"

"Done."

With orders to be back at 0800 the next morning, everyone was dismissed. Daniel began the trek back to the VIP room, feeling as though he was heading into the lion's den. His argument with Ella had hurt him deeply and as much as he tried to remind himself that she was talking from her fear, he wasn't sure that he could take much more of her anger at this point.

"Daniel! Daniel, wait up." Sam came running up next to him. "Hey."

"What's up?"

"I was thinking. I can work from home tonight. Why doesn't Ella come with me and stay at my place?"

"You would do that?"

"Yeah. I mean it's obvious that she is getting cagey here. An official safe house would just be more of the same. And if someone is looking for her, they would be less likely to look for her at my place than they would at yours."

"That is a great idea. I think she would appreciate a break from me anyway." His smile was interrupted by an enormous yawn.

"Okay. Have her meet me upstairs in 30 minutes, all right? Will that be enough time?"

"Yeah. And hopefully tomorrow Thor will be here and we can actually get some headway on this search," Daniel scrubbed his face, briskly, trying to feel more awake.

Sam rubbed Daniel's shoulder encouragingly. "Get some rest, tonight, Daniel. I'll see you later."

Daniel took the elevator to Ella's room. When he got there, Carolyn Lam was talking with his friend. Ella was seated at the table, her hair damp from a recent shower. She had changed into a long peach colored top and a pair of loose, black yoga pants.

"Hello, Dr. Jackson." Dr. Lam was the picture of efficiency as she made some final notes in Ella's chart. "I was just checking up on your friend."

"Thank you. I appreciate that," he replied.

"Think nothing of it. It's not often I get to help with many pregnancies. It's a nice change." She grabbed her bag and headed towards the door.

"Thank you, Dr. Lam." Ella watched Daniel watch Dr. Lam leave. "Daniel?"

"Hmm?"

This was interesting. "Daniel is there something I should know?"

He finally turned to her. "Something…?" When Ella merely indicated the door with her eyes, he began to sputter, "Something about Caro – about Dr. Lam? What are you talking about?"

Ella raised her hands in mock surrender. "Nothing, nothing at all."

"She's my co-worker. _And_ Gen. Landry's daughter."

Ella just smirked. "Forget I said anything."

Sighing with exasperation, Daniel say across from her. There was a half-eaten plate of spaghetti sitting next to an open book.

"Dr. Lam wants me to eat more but it seems that my morning sickness is hitting right about now. Which reminds me, if we could _not_ have a wrestling match tonight, that would be just great."

"Ella - "

"No, wait, let me say something, first." Ella pushed the plate away and leaned toward him. "Daniel, I'm sorry. Last night, this afternoon, everything is just so out of control. But, this isn't your fault. I may not agree with everything that you have done, but I know that you are doing what you think is best."

"Wow, Ella, I don't think I have ever heard you apologize to me before."

"Don't make me regret it." They both laughed a little and some of the tension went out of the air. "All right, what?"

"What, 'what'?" he responded.

"There's something you don't want to tell me. I can see it in your face." She leaned back in her seat and waited.

He told her everything he could. He told her about Alex's secret career in medicine and his involvement in the research project. He did not reveal any organization names, just said that it had been funded by some unofficial sources. Ella sat impassive as Daniel revealed years of her husband's life that she had never had a clue about. It was only when he told her about the deaths that she reacted.

"Excuse me," she held up her hand and climbed out of her chair. She walked calmly to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Daniel heard her begin to retch.

After a few minutes of silence, Daniel went over to the door and knocked. She opened the door and stood there, gray-faced and clammy.

"Twenty people died?" she asked him.

"Alex didn't know what would happen," was all Daniel could say.

Ella walked to the bed and sat facing away from him. Daniel continued his story.

"Alex was taken into custody and held for three weeks without any contact from the outside world. He told everything he knew. When he was finally released, his part in this whole mess was buried with everything else. Including, at his request, his medical career."

Daniel went and sat behind Ella. Gently, he put his arms around her. She held on to his hands until she finally turned herself around and buried her face in his shoulder. They stayed that way for several minutes.

Finally, she pulled away. "Is this why he's missing?"

"It's possible," he told her.

She took that in. She considered everything that Daniel had told her. She was so angry with her husband. She felt lied to. Betrayed. But, in her heart of hearts, she knew that Alex was not a murderer. Her husband was a loving and gentle man. Whatever mistake or crimes had occurred, she knew that it must have destroyed some part of him to have been a part of the deaths of all of those people. Why had he never told her? She would have understood! She would have tried. She would have believed him.

Daniel cupped her face in his hands. "Ella, I know that this is a lot to take in. It's going to take awhile and we are going to keep looking for him. You're going to go stay at Sam Carter's house tonight. There will be guards, but I think you will do better off of this base. Does that sound okay?"

It was a measure of how upset she was, that all Ella did was nod at his words.

"Just remember what I said, Ella. We are going to take care of you. No matter what." He pulled her back into his arms. "No matter what."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_It was over. The Goa'uld lay panting on the floor from the unexpected exertion. Not that he minded. The stronger the fighter, the better the host. He smiled, feeling unfamiliar muscles stretching to obey. He was connected to every part of this new body. If he listened, he could still hear the screams of the vanquished soul that was now exiled within its former body, but he would only listen when he had time to treasure and savor the pain and terror. _

_Human hands reached down to assist him off of the floor. He smiled at his new subjects. They did not know how to respond. He knew why. No Goa'uld smiled as he did, with pure delight and joy. He rejoiced in every part of being a Goa'uld. It had been too long since he had been free._

_The subjects asked how he wished to be addressed._

_This was his favorite part of choosing a host. He could switch identities, become someone new. Or old. He dismissed the current host's former name at once. There was no music to it. He ran through all of the previous incarnations he had had.. Then he remembered…_

"_You may call me Loki."

* * *

_

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Previously:

"He could switch identities, become someone new. Or old. He dismissed the current host's former name at once. There was no music to it. He ran through all of the previous incarnations he had had.. Then he remembered…

"'You may call me Loki.'"

* * *

It took a while for a Goa'uld to acclimate himself to a new host. That was one of the reasons that most Goa'uld rarely changed bodies. But Loki liked change. He could be anyone he wanted to be. It was so much more fun. It was always amusing to dominate a tribe or village or a world and strike terror _en masse_, but there was an equal thrill of taking over a simple human and just destroying one family. Or just one single loved one. Throughout his time, Loki had done much of both. Every time he picked a new body, he learned the speech patterns, the mannerisms. He _became_ the new host in many ways. There had been times that he stayed hidden for months, pulling little pranks, showing his innate and masterful cruelty only when it suited him. Sometimes only revealing himself to be a monster when the damage was done. It was just more fun that way. 

Loki surveyed his surroundings. He was unimpressed. Four white walls, a table and chairs, and three humans each staring at him with varying degrees of apprehension and fear on their faces. He smiled. All of the knowledge his host possessed was pouring into him. He would know everything he needed to know soon enough.

"Do you have a mirror?" he inquired.

"What?" The gray haired human (_Dr. Gillson,_ the name surfaced) replied.

"A mirror. Something reflective. That is the correct word, isn't it? I would like to know what I look like."

The humans looked at each other, stupefied. They did not have a mirror. They also seemed to have no idea what to do with the full sized god that now stood before them. Loki decided to be gentle, for now. "You're wondering about me, aren't you? Have you dealt with other Goa'uld before me?"

The man who was holding what appeared to be a weapon (_a gun_, Loki realized) spoke. "I was on security detail for one a few years ago."

"I seem different than he, don't I?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did you know who I was when you found me?"

Dr. Gillson found his voice once more. "No. You were found and brought to me. You were in some sort of stasis until recently."

"And this is…Earth…isn't it?" When the humans nodded, Loki was ecstatic. "I love this planet! I was exiled from here, did you know that? Yes, by the Asgard." Loki sat down at the chair and kicked his heels up to the table. "Of course, if they were as smart as they think they are, they would have destroyed me. For you see...I am both a god _and_ a monster." His voice dropped to a whisper and he winked at the men.

The gray haired doctor slipped into the chair across the table from him. "My name is Dr. Quinn Gillson -"

"I know who you are Doctor," Loki interrupted. "I know so much about you. This one -" he gestured to his body – "carried a great deal of love for you at one time. You were his mentor and his teacher. And now you are his murderer. I like the way you work old man." If it was possible, Loki's smile grew as he watched the human try not to squirm under the scrutiny. "So, tell me _Quinn_, did you find it?"

Dr. Gillson's guarded expression gave him his answer. "Find what?" he hedged.

"I think you know. You found my Laughter, didn't you?"

With a slight tremor in his hand, the doctor pulled a piece of paper from his breast pocket. "Is this your laughter?"

Delicately, Loki smoothed out the paper in front of him. His hands lingered on the line drawing, remembering his triumph. It was such an elegant design. So beautiful. So violent. "Sometimes they choose their God and sometimes their God chooses them." He looked back at the man, eyes glowing. "Where is it?"

"The weapon? It exists?" Dr. Gillson spluttered.

"Of course it exists! Please tell me how, did you manage to find me with such low intellilect and lack of imagination? Are you saying that I wasn't with it? Damn! Those little, gray bastards. Well, I know where we can find another." He steepled his fingers and tapped his thumbs together, a habit he knew he was picking up from the host. "Do you have a Stargate?" Slowly, the older human shook his head. "Do you at least have a ship?"

"Yes, Lord Loki, we have a ship that can take us anywhere you want."

Loki enjoyed hearing the groveling tone in Gillson's voice but he wasn't fooled. "I know what you want, Quinn. You want the Laughter all for yourself and you think I will be your key to it. And once I have led you to it? What is your plan then? Do you think you can just remove me from this body and I will go without a fight? Because I promise you, that will not happen."

The human had paled in fear. "No, Lord Loki. Whatever you want. The host is yours. Whatever I can give you is yours. All I want is the weapon – the - the Laughter."

"Truly? All you want is the weapon?" The Goa'uld stood and leaned over the desk to the quaking man. "And if I asked for a new host? One of your men, perhaps? Or you?" Quicker than a human could react, Loki's hands shot out and grasped the doctors head, pulling him up from his seat. From this angle, Loki could easily snap the man's neck or take him as a host.

After a few tense seconds where the human guards where unsure what to do, Loki laughed. He kissed the old man's forehead. "Relax. I like this body you have procured for me. He is a fighter. You are too old and soft." He released the man. Gillson fell back into his chair, gasping for breath. "But allow me to clarify one more thing. I don't work for humans. Humans work for me. If you want the Laughter, I can find it and might even share it. But there will be a cost and it will be high. I set the price, not you. You are not dealing with just some snake in a tank of water. You are dealing with a god. Is that clear, human?"

"Yes, Lord Loki, yes. Whatever you ask," Gillson continued to grovel before the alien deity.

Loki smiled and his eyes started to glow. "That's so good to hear." Loki reached behind him and ripped the gun from one of the guard's hands. Before anyone could react, two bloody holes appeared in Quinn Gillson's forehead. The back of his skull and much of his brain tissue now decorated the wall and floor. Loki gave the smoking gun in his hand a critical once over. "I thought that was how this would work." He glanced at the man who had been standing close to the doctor and was now wearing some of the dead man. "Put your gun down, boy, unless you wish to join him." The guard lowered his gun arm until it was pointed to the floor. "Good choice. Trust me, Quinn there would have given me either or both of you to save his own hide. He is not worth your loyalty and his life was the first price. It was only fair after what he did to my host. So tell me," he swung his gun in a lazy arc between the two men, "who do you serve?"

The unarmed guard responded, "We don't 'serve' anyone."

"Well then, now you serve me. Are there others?"

"Others?" questioned the blood-splattered one.

"Others who will serve me. Oh, spare me that look. I know that you don't want to 'serve' me. Do you think that this Alex person wanted to? But I need him, and I need you and I need your friends. Come, I can offer you far more than anyone on this little world can. I'm a god, after all. Besides, it'll be fun." Loki's eyes began to glow once more."We can take over your world."

Loki knew humans fairly well. They always wanted more power.He could promise these two small minded humans that. At least until he was done with them.

The humans exchanged glances and considered the "offer." Finally, the unarmed one shrugged. "There are two others. They are out on assignment at the moment. But we can call them in."

"Good." Loki's smile dropped away and he turned very serious. "There is something else I need. My Laughter is broken and it will not be easy to fix. Bring me someone who can assist me. And find me the woman who belonged to this host. She has something of mine."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was rare that Daniel Jackson was the first one to make it to a meeting, yet here he was, 0750, sipping a cup of coffee while he leafed through some notes. It was also rare that he managed eight hours of sleep when there was an active crisis, but last night, his body simply shut down on him. Ella had called him once she reached Sam's house. She sounded exhausted, but much less crazed than she had yesterday afternoon. Daniel was able to sleep knowing she was safe.

Jack O'Neill was the next to enter the room. He was surprised to see his friend sitting so quietly. "Well, good morning, Daniel. Have we heard from Thor yet?"

"Yes. According to his message, he'll be here in about two hours."

"He must be pretty far away."

"I'm just glad that he got the message at all," Daniel replied. "At this point, I don't know if anything he has to say will help us, but it's the only lead we have."

Jack sat at the head of the table, looking very uncomfortable. "What is it, Jack," Daniel finally asked, watching the older man fidget.

"Look, um, you never told me before how bad that vision thing was that Shifu sent you."

Daniel looked down at the notes in front of him. It was his turn to feel uncomfortable. "Jack…everything was so different then. You and I were barely speaking most of the time. And I was so scared that someone would make the weapon. It just made sense to keep it to myself. And I have spent a lot of time since then trying not to remember any of it."

"You could never be the person you described to us yesterday."

Daniel looked in his friend's eyes. "I know that now…but I wasn't sure then…it felt so good. I had respect and power and all of the stupid revenge I ever wanted in my life. It wasn't me, but it was. But when I ascended, I had all of that power and more and I chose to walk away from it. So now I know."

The two men smiled at each other. They were friends now. Equals. The strains of the past were dim memories. For that, they were both very grateful.

Daniel cleared his throat. "So, how did you find out about Alex before I had a chance to call you? Where did all of your information come from, anyway?"

"Agent Barret, don't'cha know? On his never-ending quest to humanize the face of the NID and atone for the sins of the past." Jack rolled his eyes. Despite all that Barret had done, Jack was never going to trust that him completely. For one thing, the agent was entirely too idealistic about the NID. For another, well, it was still the NID.

Tension began its daily crawl up Daniel's neck. "So do you think the Trust has Alex?"

"I don't know," Jack shook his head slowly. "I wish I did. I like that guy. And Ella really likes him."

"Yeah," Daniel chuckled at a favorite memory. "Hey, do you remember Alex and Ella's wedding? Poor Teal'c. I don't think he had ever heard Christina Aquilera before Ella asked him to dance with her."

Jack hooted with laughter as the object of their amusement entered the room accompanied by Col. Mitchell. Gen. Landry was in his office, on the phone, which left only one member unaccounted for.

"All right, where's Carter?" Jack asked the room in general. "It's 0803 and I know for a fact that that woman has never been late for a meeting in her life."

At that moment, General Landry stepped into the conference room. One look at his face and Daniel knew something had gone very wrong.

"Hank, what's happened?" Jack asked. Daniel's throat was too dry for words.

"I just got off the phone with the day shift guards at Col. Carter's house," General Landry explained. "The night guards are both dead. Col. Carter and Ella McPherson are missing."

* * *

TBC 


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's note/plea: Hello all! I know that people are reading this story and there are severalstory alerts attached it it which I really, **really **appreciate, but can I get some feedback? Please? If you love it, like it, or hate it just let me know. Don't make me beg...again...pretty please? As always many thanks to thoes who review (esp. LadyTwist and Desert-Blosom-By-The-Sea) and thanks to everyone who reads my humble little scribblings. "You make me fly...high!" (what is that quote from? It flits into my head at the weirdest times.)_

* * *

Previously: "I just got off the phone with the day shift guards at Col. Carter's house," General Landry explained. "The night guards are both dead. Col. Carter and Ella McPherson are missing."

* * *

_"Then you take care of me and I'll take care of you. I think our moms and your dad would like that."_

Daniel could hear Ella's twelve-year-old voice saying those words so clearly that he was tempted to turn around and see if she was standing there. But he knew she wasn't. Ella was gone. Daniel was staring into the dead eyed gaze of the soldier lying in Sam's front hall. _I'm sorry, Ms. McPherson,_ Daniel apologized to Ella's late mother, dead since Ella was nine. _I am so, so sorry._

A forensics team from Stargate Command was combing over every inch of Sam's house, trying to find any clue as to who murdered the soldiers and abducted Sam and Ella. The front door had been forced open. The guard had been shot. The second guard was crumpled on the back porch, a bullet in the back having ended her life. Daniel had known her. June Wallis. Daniel couldn't remember her rank. New to the base, she had some interest in history and archeology and had tracked down Daniel as soon as she was settled in. She and Daniel had shared a few lunch times discussing the different cultures that had been found. Abstractly, Daniel wondered what Capt. Wallis's husband would be told.

Finally tearing his eyes away from the dead man's gaze, Daniel walked to the doorway of the guest room. He assumed that Ella had been sleeping here. The forensics team was done in there, so Daniel entered. The bed had been slept in, but there was no sign of a struggle. It looked for all the world as though Ella had just stepped up and disappeared.

Some of the items that Daniel had packed for his friend were spread about the room. A copy of _The Hip Mama's Guide to Pregnancy_ was tangled in the covers. His heart twisted when he the photos that had been propped by the bedside lamp. They were from the frame he had found shattered, one from Ella and Alex's wedding and one of Ella and Daniel as children. Daniel slipped the photos into his front pocket for safekeeping and exited the room.

In stark contrast to Ella's room, Sam's looked like a battlefield. Jack stood, immobile, just inside the doorway. The bed table was lying on its side and a shattered lamp spilled across the floor. All of the small decorative items from the dresser top had been swept off. A broken perfume bottle scented the room of jasmines. Despite the beauty of the fragrance, it turned Daniel's stomach. The lush, sensual smell was too at odds with the violence of the scene.

Two forensic scientists were canvassing the room, checking for fingerprints, anything that would help. At this point, they were not finding much.

Daniel turned to his old friend. Rage was burning in Jack's eyes. "Jack?"

"She fought pretty hard." Jack took a deep breath, clenching his teeth. "Whatever happened, Sam didn't go easy."

"Sam is an excellent soldier, Jack, and she was trying to protect a friend. She wouldn't have gone down without a fight."

Jack nodded. "Anything in Ella's room?"

"No signs of a struggle, which is surprising, but Ella…" Daniel shrugged and shook his head. "She's a fighter, but she's not a soldier. She knows self-defense, but if someone got the jump on her or threatened the baby - "

"Baby?" Jack turned and met Daniel's eyes.

"Ella's pregnant." Daniel had to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat.

Jack rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Great. So what we have is someone with the skill to take down a top-notch soldier like Sam and ruthless enough to kidnap a pregnant civilian."

"And murder two other top-notch soldiers," Daniel added.

"Right," Jack said. "This doesn't sound like Loki."

"No, I agree. The Asgard would never do this."

Again, Jack surveyed the wreckage. "I should have been here."

"What do you mean?"

"I told Sam after the meeting that I should come over. Last night, I mean. But she said not to worry, she had work and Ella was too tired for company and anyway I had to meet with Hank, so we agreed to just see each other at the base today. I should've just come over."

"Jack, I - " and then something clicked in Daniel's mind. Jack…and Sam…"Oh." Daniel was a smart man but at the moment he felt ridiculously stupid. Daniel saw past the black rage in Jack's eyes to the fear. The fear for someone he loved very much.

"I'm sorry, Daniel, we were going to tell you and everybody…" Jack sighed and looked at the room. "I should have been here."

"Jack, if you had it would probably be your body lying in the hallway. Sam and Ella were the only one the killers wanted. We have to assume that they are still alive. So, what do Sam and Ella have that makes them worth all of this?"

Jack considered the question. "Well, if I was trying to build a new alien weapon, I would want someone as smart as Sam on my team. It's crazy, though. Whoever was here must have known that Sam was SG1. Pretty bold move on their part. But why would they have grabbed Ella? She's not military or a scientist."

"No, but she's Alex's wife and she is pregnant with his child. If Alex…is still alive… they could be using her as collateral. 'Do what we want, or we'll kill her,' sort of thing." Daniel's chest tightened as he said the words.

"Okay, so they came here for Sam and lucked into finding Ella?" Jack speculated.

"Or they – oh god - " and then Daniel knew. "They followed us."

"Who followed you?"

"There was this van, outside of Ella's house. That's why I took her to the base. They must have just followed us and just waited to see if she would leave. So when she and Sam drove off…god I might as well have just delivered them over!"

"Daniel, stop," Jack held up his hands to quiet his friend. "Look, you and I can play the blame game all damn day and it will do us no good. We need to focus. Whatever is going on, I am tired of being two steps behind these guys. Mitchell!" Jack bellowed as they walked out to the hallway.

Teal'c and Cameron were standing in the hall. The dead soldier had been placed in a body bag by medics now that the scene had been thoroughly photographed. A large bloodstain marred the lovely rag rug and hardwood flooring.

"Sir," Mitchell responded. "Everybody is preparing to pull out. We just got word that a news crew is on its way. Landry wants us out before they arrive."

"And the day just gets better and better," Jack muttered. "Okay, let's - " Jack's words were cut off as he was enveloped in a bright, shimmering light. Before Daniel could even blink in surprise, a similar light wrapped around him. The next thing he knew, he was standing in the SGC conference room. Gen. Landry was seated, smirking just a little. A small gray Asgard blinked owlishly up at him.

"Thor!" Jack glared at the alien.

"Greetings, O'Neill," Thor responded, placidly.

"Welcome back you two," General Landry said. "Thor thought this would be the quickest way."

"Daniel, give Mitchell and Teal'c a call. Let them know that _we _are not missing now." Daniel picked up the desk phone while Jack continued his rant. "For cryin' out loud, Thor. Does it ever occur to you to _warn _us before you snatch us off our feet?"

"I was simply responding to your request for communication," Thor explained.

"Whatever," Jack sat down at the table.

While Daniel assured his teammates that he and Jack had not, in fact, joined the ranks of the missing, he watched Jack try to reign in his anger. It didn't work.

"So, Thor, what's Loki up to these days?" Jack snapped once everyone was seated.

"Loki remains in stasis while we decide what to do with him. Judgment has not yet been passed on his actions with your cloning." The Asgard continued to sit calmly.

"That was years ago," Jack replied.

"We have been verybusy, O'Neill."

"What we really need to know," Daniel joined the conversation, "is what does Loki have to do with this?" He pushed a drawing of the Goa'uld weapon across the table.

Asgard were not emotional beings. Though capable of friendship and loyalty and possessing remarkable ferocity on the battlefield, if they possessed subtle emotions, it was impossible to read them. Therefore, it was very surprising to realize that Thor looked…fearful?…at the drawing.

"You've seen this before, haven't you Thor?" Daniel prodded.

"Yes," Thor finally answered. "How did you come across this?"

Jack spoke before Daniel could respond. "No, we're not talking until you tell us what you know about this."

"O'Neill, am I being – accused of something?"

"No," Daniel answered. While he understood Jack's anger, it would get them nowhere. "Thor, some people are missing. Two civilian friends of mine, and Col. Carter. This drawing was found under my friend's car. He is an astrophysicist and I believe that he was working on this. There was another drawing in his house and written on it was the phrase, '…sometimes we choose our gods and sometimes they choose us,' written in Goa'uld." There was no mistaking it this time. Thor looked very unnerved when Daniel recited the phrase.

Jack leaned forward in his seat. "Thor, tell us. Did Loki build this weapon?"

There was a long silence as the Supreme Commander of the Asgard fleet examined the picture. Then, he raised his liquid black eyes and answered, "No. The Loki that you know did not create this."

Jack's eyes narrowed. There was more he, all the men knew it. "But?"

"The Asgard you know as Loki did not create this weapon," Thor repeated. "However – many years ago Loki was taken as a host to a Goa'uld."

"What!" Jack asked, softly.

Daniel remained silent. Thor's story was inconceivable, yet it made a weird sense. The Goa'uld were technology thieves. What better way to get something from a culture then to steal one of its greatest minds? Everything began to line up in Daniel's mind. As the Harcesis, Shifu would have knowledge from all Goa'uld. Is it possible that Shifu gave Daniel this weapon as a coincidence? Or had Shifu somehonw known it would be important someday?

"How could a Goa'uld take an Asgard as a host?" Jack was sticking to the practical issues at hand.

"We did not know, ourselves, that it was possible until it was too late," Thor admitted. "As far as I am aware, it is the only time it has ever happened."

"Who was the Goa'uld that took him?" Daniel asked.

Thor's gleaming eyes turned to Daniel. "We have never learned it's real name."

"Well, what happened to it? Is it dead" Again, Daniel was aware of the discomfort radiating from Thor.

The Asgard considered his words carefully before he spoke again. "The Goa'uld that claimed Loki was unlike any we have encountered before or since. It would never admit to its original name. Rather, it always took the name and persona of the current host. Loki was its prisoner for a very long time. Most of your Earth legends of Loki are from this time."

Another piece clicked in Daniel's head. He lifted the drawing. "This was built here, wasn't it? This _is _the Midgard Serpent that circled the ocean, isn't it?"

Thor nodded. "Before his experience as a host, Loki loved humanity. He found humans, especially Earthlings, fascinating. But the Goa'uld only wanted death. I have seen what this weapon can do and I know what this Goa'uld is capable of. They must not find each other again."

"'They must' – do you mean that the Goa'uld is still alive?" Anger flared in Jack's voice but Thor was telling the story at his own pace.

"As Loki, this weapon was created and used to terrorize that people who worshiped him. Stories grew of a giant fire-breathing serpent, although he always referred to it as his 'Laughter.' Many humans died before the High Council realized what was happening. When we came, the Goa'uld escaped. It claimed other bodies and hid, finally managing to escape this planet."

"Legends of Loki paint him as a shape-shifter," Daniel remembered.

"Indeed. It is a well-earned reputation. It enjoyed hiding. It enjoyed hurting and killing and mayhem. When we finally trapped it, we removed it from the host. But Loki, our Loki, would not let us destroy it."

"Why not?" Jack asked.

"He felt some connection to the symbiote. Both in it's intrinsic value and as something he could learn much from."

"Some sort of Asgard Stockholm Syndrome?" Daniel speculated.

"After his experience, Loki was never the same. The Goa'uld caused much damage in its time." Thor looked at all three humans.

"Thor," Jack's voice was deep and intense, "where is this Goa'uld now?"

"Loki hid it away in one of his lab's. I can take you there." Thor moved his hand.

"Wait!" Jack yelled before he could be transported again. "We wait for Mitchell and Teal'c. We are going as a team and we are not coming back until we have found Sam, Ella, _and _Alex. This ends now."

* * *

TBC 


	11. Chapter 11

_Author's note: Wow, ask and I shall receive! Thanks for all of the lovely reviews. It made me feel much better. And as a thank you, another chapter!_

_Warning: This is definitely not the lightest chapter I have ever written. There is some violence and I found it very disturbing. _

* * *

Previously: 

"Wait!" Jack yelled before he could be transported again. "We wait for Mitchell and Teal'c. We are going as a team and we are not coming back until we have found Sam, Ella, _and _Alex. This ends now."

* * *

Ella huddled in the corner of the dark room she had been tossed into. Only the smallest trickle of light leaked in from the bottom of the doorway. She kept one hand resting on Samantha Carter's chest to make sure the unconscious woman continued to breathe. Ella's other hand was wedged firmly between her own teeth where she was biting the fleshy part of her palm. Only that pain was keeping her away from the complete hysteria that she had already succumbed to once. She knew that there was nothing else in the room. She knew that she and Sam were alone. But she was so scared. She just couldn't be here much longer. 

Only Alex knew that Ella was claustrophobic. The fear embarrassed her so bad she was never able to even tell Daniel. She told herself that she wasn't afraid of the dark. She had worked through that many years ago. But with the small space and the dark combined, Ella's mind kept drifting to imagined fears, nightmares she had forgotten years ago were resurfacing…_Here there be monsters…_

**_No!_** She told herself, firmly. _There are no monsters. Just people…just people._ Hearing a whimper escape her lips, Ella bit down harder. She did not care if she bled, she just couldn't let her panic overwhelm her. If it happened again, she might never stop screaming.

Ella had been woken in the middle of the night by a gun in her face and a hand over her mouth.

"Get up," the voice ordered her. Ella could see nothing beyond the fathomless black pit of the gun barrel. "If you scream, it will be the last sound you ever make."

She stood up, reaching for her glasses out of years of habit. The gunman shoved her into the hallway. At her feet lay Pvt. Grains. Blood trickled from the hole in his forehead and flowed, thick and sluggish from the back of his skull. The smell made her gag. Sounds of a savage fight emanated from Samantha's room. After a final stunning crash, the door opened. Another armed man emerged, carrying Sam in a fireman's hold. He was bleeding from a cut above his eye.

"We ready?" Ella's gunman asked. The other nodded.

Ella had no idea what happened next. One moment, she was standing in Samantha's hallway. The next, she…wasn't. The hallway had seemingly dissolved in a flash of light and another one formed around her. She couldn't take in her new surroundings because, gunman or no, Ella started to scream. Her mind had split in two. There was no coming back and she knew it.

"Shut up!" The first man reached back to hit her, but the second one stopped him.

"No! Remember what he said. Just put them in the room."

Still screaming, Ella was dragged to a doorway. The door slid open, revealing nothing but darkness. She managed to form words. "No! No! I won't go in there! I won't!" She tried to yank herself free. Too late, she remembered Daniel's advice to throw her weight towards anyone who was grabbing her, and her captor was ready for her move. He tripped her and then tossed her into the darkness. Samantha was dumped next to her. The door slid closed.

She scrambled to her feet and slammed against the wall. "Let me out of here! Goddammit, please! Let me out of here!" Finally realizing it was useless, she turned and faced the darkness. Carefully, she felt her way around the space. It was about the size of a large closet. _A closet. I am trapped in a totally dark closet._ A moan escaped her. When visitors to her house asked why her closets had no doors and were instead covered with curtains, Ella would answer that she had seen the look on a television show and had liked it. As the bile rose in her throat, Ella resorted to something that she had not done in over a decade. Many years ago, Ella had discovered that pain was an effective way to curb panic attacks, but she was deeply ashamed of the behavior and had sworn that she would never do it again. But now she saw no alternative. She bit her hand.

Everything was piling in on her mind. She could see the dead soldier's eyes, glazed, staring through her. She wanted Alex; she wanted to feel his arms around her. She wanted all of this to end. Ella sank into a corner. Samantha was lying right next to her. She wanted to stop biting her hand. She wanted to be brave for her husband and her baby, but she couldn't.

After some time, Ella heard Sam shift and groan. "Samantha? Sam, are you awake?" She reached for Sam's hand and squeezed.

"Oh, ow. Yeah. I'm awake. Why is it so dark? Ella? Where are we?"

"**I – don't – know!**" Ella moaned through gritted teeth. She heard the whine in her voice but couldn't stop herself. "We were in your house and then…we weren't! We were here. And the guard in the hallway was dead and it's so dark and so small and I just don't know what I am d-doing!" _Calm down! _Ella bit hard on her knuckle.

Sam slowly sat up. She leaned against the wall and pulled Ella to her. "It's okay, Ella. I know that you're scared, but it's going to be okay. I just need you to tell me what you can about how we got here. We are going to be okay and we are going to get out of here but I need to know what I missed."

Ella drew some strength from Sam's calm demeanor. She tried to take a breath. "Okay. Okay, I'm sorry I'm freaking out here. I just don't like small spaces."

"Huh. Well, um, close your eyes."

"**What!"** Ella responded.

"Close your eyes. If you do, it won't matter how small or dark the room might be. You won't be able to see it."

It was a stupid idea, but Ella was so embarrassed by the way she was acting – she closed her eyes. It helped. The room wasn't dark, she just couldn't see. "Okay. All right. I'm sorry. I just get a little claustrophobic sometimes."

Sam gave her another squeeze. "Don't worry. You know Teal'c right? He has a similar reaction to clowns."

Knowing that Sam wanted her to, Ella gave a weak laugh. "Sure. Anyway, um, there was a light. We were standing in the hall and then this guy carried you out of your bedroom and then there was a light. And then we were here."

"In this room?"

"No. We were outside. The walls were weird. Dark gold and I think there was a pattern on them." Ella was surprised, she didn't realize that she had seen that much.

Both women jumped when they heard footsteps coming towards them. Sam cursed under her breath. "Ella, has Daniel ever told you what he does for a living?"

"No. Why?"

"Damn. I think you are about to learn."

The door slid open as Sam and Ella scrambled to their feet. "Sam, what-?" The two men from before stepped in and grabbed the women's arms.

"Come on, both of you," the one holding Ella's arm dragged her to the hallway. She felt that she was on stronger mental footing now, but she was scared out of her mind about what might happen next. What did any of this have to do with Daniel's job?

As soon as Sam was clear of the door, a third man came forward and bound her wrists.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Ella went to move towards her friend, but the man holding her yanked her back.

"Don't try to get brave now, Mrs. Portmanoy."

Reddening with anger and embarrassment, Ella was pushed forward. This time she was able to take in more of her surroundings. The pattern she had seen earlier was actually a series of strange symbols. A slight vibration was coming through he floor. She looked over at Sam.

"Where are we, Samantha?" She whispered.

"I think we're on an Al Kesh. It's a -" her explanation was cut off by a sharp jab from a gun.

"Enough talking."

The group entered a much larger room. Standing at a window, looking out at the night sky was…"Alex?"

Ella couldn't believe it, but her husband was standing right there. White button down shirt, jeans, barefoot. He looked just like he did when he was working from home. "Oh, my god, Alex.." She went to him.

Ella did not hear Sam's warning or her cry of pain. All she was aware of was her husband's arms, his scent and his taste as he pulled her in for a deep, slow kiss. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave a slight moan as he dipped her low, deepening the kiss. When the kiss finally ended, Ella reluctantly opened her eyes.

Alex's eyes were glowing.

Ella gasped.

"Hello, Ella." He spoke and his voice made her jerk away from him. She fell hard on her ass on the floor.

"What happened to you – to your voice?" She stammered.

"My voice is fine. However, your husband's voice is gone."

"What?"

"You don't know what I am, do you darling?" He smirked, eyes flashing again.

"Alex…" Ella did not know what to say.

"No. My name isn't Alex. I decided against that name." He crouched down next to her. "You may call me Loki."

"Loki? Who? What the fuck is going on here, Samantha?" She turned to her friend.

A sharp slap caught her attention. He pounced on her, straddling her hips and forcing her back on her elbows. Her face stung from where he had hit her. _Alex hit me?_

"Language like that is unbecoming in the mate of a god." Slight humor played around his mouth.

Ella was too scared to speak. She stared into Alex's familiar, storm colored eyes. She flinched when they glowed once more.

"It seems it is time for a lesson," the man continued talking. "I am what is called a Goa'uld. We take humans as hosts and live through them. I have taken your husband. I am not giving him back." He smiled. "And I know everything he knows. Everything." He ran his fingers through Ella's hair, pulling her head back until she fell all the way to the floor. "I know why you're afraid of small, dark spaces Ella." He kissed her lightly on the lips as she bit back a sob. His hands trailed down to her stomach. "And I know that you are carrying my child." He dug his fingers into her sides, painfully.

"Alex, please stop!" Ella sobbed, trying to pull his hands off of her.

He snatched her hands and pinned them to the floor under his knees. "I'm not Alex, you silly bitch. Catch up!"

"Leave her alone!" Sam shouted.

"Shut up! It's not your turn to talk." One of the guards shoved his gun into Sam's neck. Alex turned back to Ella. "My name is Loki. Say it with me. Lo-ki." He ground her hands into the floor with each syllable.

She cried out in agony. "Loki! Fine. Your name is Loki!"

He smiled again. "Ah, it's been far too long since I have heard a woman cry out my name like that. But enough of the fun." He jumped to his feet and pointed to the men in the room. "I'm done with this one. Take her back."

All three guards were focused on Sam. One of them spoke. "I don't think we should let her go."

Loki laughed. It was not a pretty sound. "Leave her hands tied. I'm sure she realizes if she tries anything too creative, only her friend will suffer for it."

Sam stayed still, visibly shaking with rage. The guards came over and roughly shoved Ella to her feet.

"Wait a minute," Ella begged, holding her injured hands to her chest. "Please tell me. What happened to my husband?"

Loki looked at her with a large measure of pity in his eyes. "Darling, I would love to explain it all to you, but, with your level of intelligence, it is obvious that you will never be able to grasp all that I really am. Leave the deep thinking to the smart people. You just keep growing that baby and behaving yourself. Take her to the closet."

"No!" Ella struggled with her guard, more out of fear than anger this time.

"Look, you've got us. We will do what you want." Sam said. "Just give her a light or something."

He considered this. Ella stilled as he caressed her face with his hand. "Would that help?"

She didn't know what to say. She just did not want him touching her. His hand pinched her cheek painfully. "Answer me."

"I don't know. Maybe," she stammered.

Her husband's mouth formed a smile, but Loki's glowing eyes drifted down to her wounded hands. He saw the bite marks. Looking back up, he met her humiliated eyes. "Tie her hands up behind her back. No light."

The guard had to almost lift her off the floor to get her to move. "No, no, NO!" She started to struggle. The second guard came up and wrenched her arms behind her and bound them together. Then they dragged her back down the hall.

The doorway beckoned, as dark as a fresh grave. Ella stole a look down the hallway. She glimpsed her husband's face, but then his eyes glowed. _Here there be monsters._ In a choice between the monster and the grave, Ella chose the grave.

The door slid shut behind her.

* * *

TBC 


	12. Chapter 12

_Hello all. I am so sorry for the delay but this chapter has a lot of exposition and I had to make sure it was not boring! Sasha, thank you for you lovely emails. This might answer one of your questions, though maybe not in the way you were hoping. Let me know what you all think!_

_Thanks.

* * *

Previously: The doorway beckoned, as dark as a fresh grave. Ella stole a look down the hallway. She glimpsed her husband's face, but then his eyes glowed. __Here there be monsters._ In a choice between the monster and the grave, Ella chose the grave. 

Previously: The doorway beckoned, as dark as a fresh grave. Ella stole a look down the hallway. She glimpsed her husband's face, but then his eyes glowed. In a choice between the monster and the grave, Ella chose the grave. 

The door slid shut behind her.

* * *

Sam was still shaking with anger as she heard Ella be dragged down the hallway. She tried to school her features so that no emotion showed on her face but it was difficult. Despair over what was happening to Ella's husband was warring with fury over what the Goa'uld was doing to Ella. She had no idea what time it was or when they had been brought to this ship, but Sam suspected that someone would have noticed her and Ella missing by now. Sam knew that Jack and SG1would move heaven and Earth to find her, but how would they know where to start looking? 

She had recognized the creature as a Goa'uld the moment she had entered the room. The naquadah in her system had triggered a warning. Even though she tried to warn Ella of the danger, the other woman had not heard her, and instead walked right into the arms of the man she though was her husband. And when Loki's words revealed that the woman he was abusing and degrading was not just an innocent victim but also a _pregnant_ innocent victim, Sam wanted to grab a club and start beating people.

And now as the monster looked at her, Sam tried to see through to the man trapped within. It seemed hopeless. If the consciousness of Alex Portmanoy remained intact, it was buried deep.

"So, Samantha Carter," Loki leaned close to her and breathed deep, smelling her, "you know what I am, don't you?" He voice was low, almost seductive. "And I know you. You have been taken by a Goa'uld before."

"It was a Tok'ra, not a Goa'uld," Sam spit back at him.

"Really? A Tok'ra? And here I always thought they were a myth," he replied with a scornful smirk.

"And I though gods were omniscient," she said.

He laughed. "Well, I have been out of the loop for a few thousand years. I have much catching up to do."

Loki circled Sam, assessing her from every angle. "The men who serve me had so much information on you and your team. Including the one and only Daniel Jackson." Sam met his eyes impassively. "So, this is Daniel Jackson's mystery job. Traveling through galaxies, fighting Goa'uld. And you think you know a guy."

Sam remained silent. Loki had her very unnerved. He was different than any other Goa'uld she had dealt with before. His body language, his manner of talking; it all seemed very modern. And there was an intimacy to his violence that was deeply disturbing. Sam had seen System Lords torture and even kill humans, but Loki's treatment of Ella was more reminiscent of spousal abuse than anything else. He wanted Ella to see it was her husband hurting her. And he wanted Ella to know that he knew everything Alex had known. Sam feared that Loki had the ability to destroy Ella a piece at a time.

Loki continued to talk. "But, as interesting as Daniel's file was, it was you that I just had to meet." His eyes held a delighted satisfaction. "Beauty, bravery, and brains. Truly a woman with everything. And you are exactly what I will be needing."

"…for what?" Sam finally had to ask.

Now answering her, Loki walked toward the large, throne-like chair that dominated the center of the room. Halfway there, he bent over and picked something off of the floor. When he righted himself, Sam saw that he was holding Ella's glasses.

"Ella must have dropped these," he speculated benignly, examining the plastic frames. "It surprises me that as far as humans have come since my time, you still cannot correct something as simple as eyesight. If I just slipped my wife a Goa'uld, it would fix her eyes right up. Correct her vision, improve her health. I bet she'd even loose some weight. That can't be a bad thing." Loki was not smiling now.

Knowing she was being baited, Sam ignored his implied threat. "What – do you – want?" she ground out from gritted teeth.

"Not much. Simply your total unswerving obedience, for starters. And I want my child." Loki leaned back in his chair. Despite his jeans and bare feet, Loki radiated a powerful menace.

"Ella is not carrying _your_ child," Sam corrected him.

"In what way is it not mine? It is made of the same genetic materials that my host is. It is my child."

"What could you possibly want with a human child? This will not be a Harcesis. It is just a baby."

"Do not speak to me like I am a fool, Sam. I know this. However, remember that I am a scientist. There are thing that I would still like to learn about human development."

"What do you mean?"

He smiled, brightly. "Have you ever seen a Goa'uld who was less than a full grown adult. I have always wondered what would happen if a human child, a baby even, was implanted. Now I will get my chance."

Sam felt faint. The idea of a baby…_Ella's _baby…being taken as a host… "No. I won't let you. Ella would kill you before she let you near her child!"

"_Ella_ is mine, as surely as her child is. As you have already seen, she has no say in what I do. And as for you," his eyes began to glow faintly, "I have other needs for you. There is a weapon. I created it many years ago and it needs repairing. You will fix it for me. I have decided to claim your sorry little planet as my own."

The staggering arrogance of the Goa'uld never ceased to impress Sam, but she instantly knew what weapon he was referring to. It just made sense. She had studied Alex's schematics thoroughly last night. "Why would I help you with that?"

"Because it will be fun?" She did not respond at his attempt at humor. "All right, if that won't make you agree I know what will. Either you do what I say or I will hurt her."

"You won't get a chance. My team - "

"Your team doesn't know where you are!" He cut off her words and climbed out of his throne, advancing on her, smirking. "They don't even know who I am. Remember this, Samantha Carter, you are alone here. All alone. And it is only my mercy and your obedience that will keep you and that stupid little mouse of a woman alive and unharmed."

Sam stood her ground. "Anything you do to hurt Ella could hurt the baby."

"Please," he gave a slight laugh. "Don't underestimate me, Samantha. Do you have any idea how miserable I could make her without laying a finger on her? I could leave her in the small dark place for the next seven and a half months, chained to the floor, fed through a tube. Or I could make her watch while I tortured her husband from within. Oh, so much pain I could cause her," he finished with a vicious satisfaction.

Sam watched his eyes glow. It felt as though a noose was tightening around her neck. Her priority was to protect Ella and keep them both alive until SG1 found them. _And they would find them._ She knew that they would. She just had to get though this. "If I agree to help you, to do what you want, will you let Ella go? Leave her somewhere, send her back to Earth, just don't hurt her. Please."

A smile played around his lips. "Are you agreeing?"

"Will you let her go?"

Loki touched Sam's hair. She forced her self not to pull away. "Oh Samantha. Look what I have got you to consider doing just by threatening to hurt her. Imagine what you'll agree to once you've seen me do it."

Sam's hands, still tied behind her back, fisted. She badly wanted to hurt this creature. "Ella has nothing to do with any of this. She can't help you with a weapon. She knows nothing of the Goa'uld. She doesn't know anything!"

"Maybe not, but she has my child. And she will serve me by keeping you in line. And she amuses me." He reached forward and placed his hand around Sam's neck, lightly rubbing her throat with his thumb. "My touch disgusts her, horrifies her. Imagine how she would react if I drag her off to my bed every night."

The pressure on Sam's neck increased as Loki started to force her to her knees. Tears of pain sprang to her eyes as her lungs strained for air. "Hear this, Samantha, and remember it well. Ella McPherson means nothing to me. She is just a tool for me to use as I see fit. And if I have to make her bleed to make you behave, I'll do it." The last thing Sam saw before she passed out was the Goa'uld looking down at her, studying her as thought she were nothing more than a lab rat.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

_She heard her heart. And the sound of air rushing into her lungs. All else was silent and dark. And then…_

"Sam?"

_Sam? Who's Sam…wait…_

"Jack? Jack…help…" _Words were hard. Breathing hurt._

"Samantha, it's Ella. Sam, please wake up."

_Who…what is…_Sam tried to think through the fog of her brain. Glowing eyes pierced the murk. A dark laughter. A hand around her neck.

She gasped for air as her memories returned. Sam's eyes popped open. An almost unrelieved darkness greeted her. She was on a ship, Loki's ship. She was with Daniel's friend Ella. The Goa'uld had taken Ella's husband as a host and now he wanted Ella's baby for experiments. And he wanted Sam to make him a bomb.

She groaned. A part of her wanted to slip back into the warm unconsciousness that lingered on the edges of her vision, but she couldn't. Instead she tried to wriggle herself into an upright position. Only to find that her arms were still painfully bound.

"Great," she muttered.

"Sam, are you alright?"

"Yes – and no," she replied.

"They just dumped you on the floor," Ella spoke in the darkness again. "At first, I didn't know if you were alive or dead. I'm sorry, they didn't untie either of us."

Fully cognizant now, Sam heard in Ella's voice the flat tired tone of panic that had faded to numbness. Sam maneuvered herself into a sitting position and then scooted to the wall that Ella was leaning against.

"How are you doing Ella?"

"Um – hmm…how are _you_ Sam?"

Sam's head was pounding and her throat hurt. But she was alive so none of it seemed important. "I'll be okay." She didn't think that now was the time to share everything about her time with the Goa'uld. "Ella, can you turn yourself so I can see if I can undo whatever's holding us?"

Ella turned her back to Sam without responding. Sam ran her fingers over the other woman's wrists. As she had suspected, simple plastic straps like police officers used held them both. However simple, though, they were almost impossible to break out of without something to cut with.

Ella spoke again. "Sam, I think it is time you tell me exactly what you and Daniel and Teal'c and Jack O'Neill and probably this Cameron Mitchell do for a living."

With a deep sigh, Sam slumped against Ella's back. Yes, it was time to share the truth. But, where did this story begin?

"Many years ago, Daniel discovered a way to make and ancient…gateway work. It's called the Stargate. Jack led a team through the Gate and it took them to another planet. The planet Abydos. That is when we first met the Goa'uld." Ella made no sound so Sam continued. "The Goa'uld are snake-like parasites that live in human hosts. They are worshipped as gods by thousands of human civilizations in many galaxies. We have been at war with them for almost nine years."

Ella listened to what Sam was saying. Daniel Jackson, friend, foster brother, former lover, intergalactic space soldier. She should be having a harder time believing this. But as crazy as Sam's words were, they actually explained a lot. The random bruises, broken bones. The darkening of his spirit. All of his secrets. It just made sense.

Ella had no idea how long she had been in the dark alone. Her fear of what might be hiding in the room had lessened now that she had seen a glimpse of what was living in her husband. Illogically, Sam's words were calming her down even more. Words and labels had considerable power in Ella's world. The evil that had stolen her love and humiliated her had a name and a history. _And it could be fought._ Somehow, that made things better.

"Okay, so, you travel through galaxies, fighting alien parasites with God complexes."

"Yes."

"Are they all like him, um, Loki?"

"In some ways, yes. Without exception, Goa'uld are cruel, sadistic and power-mad. But, Loki – the thing is, I know Loki. He's not a Goa'uld. He's an Asgard. I don't know how there can be two Lokis."

"What's an Asgard?"

"An alien. Think Roswell gray."

"Oh, wow." So there really were little gray men out there. "Have you been with the program the whole time?"

"No. I didn't join until we had to go back and get Daniel."

"What do you mean?"

"Daniel stayed on Abydos with his wife."

"Daniel's wife was an alien!"

"No, she was a human. She just lived on another planet."

Another thought popped into Ella's mind. "Can you tell me, how did Ella's wife die?"

"Sha're was taken as a host," Sam revealed reluctantly. "Daniel searched for her for three years. In the end she was killed when the Goa'uld inside her tried to kill Daniel."

"Oh my god," Ella said softly.

There was a long period of silence. After awhile, Sam began to wonder if the exhausted woman had simply fallen asleep when Ella spoke again.

"You know, Daniel and I met as kids. We lived together for two years."

"I've heard some of the stories," Sam replied.

"He was my first crush, my first love. As we grew up, we lost track of each other. But then I moved out to Colorado Springs. I turned around in the grocery store one night and there he was. Poof."

Samantha has heard some of this from Daniel, but she recognized Ella's need to talk, to put everything from the past few days into perspective.

"Out here, our relationship was different. Daniel was different and he couldn't tell me why. It took him a long time just to tell me he was married. It hurt him so bad to talk about it that I couldn't press him for more." Ella's mind cast back. "There was so much that he wouldn't tell me but I knew the trade-off was respect his limits or lose him again. I wasn't willing to let him go. A few years past and we fell in love. Nobody was more surprised than I was. But even then, I knew that there was a part of Daniel that I could never touch. And then I lost him and I didn't know why or what had happened. He was just dead. That's when I met Jack." Ella would never forget her first encounter with the tall Air Force officer. "He was so nice and kind to me. Even though I must have come off like a lunatic." She laughed a little.

Sam had her own memories of Jack's meeting with Ella. For several months, her CO had stomped around like a bear with a sore tooth. But one day Sam had found Jack standing in the conference room staring down at the Gate. He looked bereft and so sad that Sam went to him and touched his arm.

"You know, I don't think I ever thanked him" Jack said.

"For what, sir?" she asked. She didn't have to ask whom Jack was talking about.

"For opening this up. For doing what he did. I know he's not dead, but…I just really miss him." The whole time Jack stared out the glass. His voice had faded to a whisper. And then he told Sam about this bold and out-spoken friend of Daniel's who had contacted him. Daniel's former foster sister in the offensive tee-shirt who was grieving so hard for the man she loved that it gave Jack permission to explore his own pain. Jack had really liked her.

"Jack gave me some peace about Daniel's death. And his life. And that opened me up… to Alex. And then, when Daniel came back, entirely not dead…" She paused, trying to control her emotions. "What Daniel and I had was great and wonderful but I don't think it ever would have become more than what it was. But Alex…despite everything I learned last night…Alex is my everything." A sob escaped her. "Sam, please tell me the truth. Is my husband dead?"

"No Ella," Sam gripped Ella's hands, squeezing them to give support. "Alex is trapped. He's a prisoner inside his body."

"Can you get that _thing_ out?"

"Yes, we've done it before." Sam mentally ran over her list of people that she knew who had been taken at one time or another. "I was taken as a host, once, many years ago."

"Really? What happened?"

"Well, it was a Tok'ra, which is an enemy of the Goa'uld, but we didn't know that then." Even after all of these years, Sam had a hard time talking about her time as a host. It had changed her forever and she was not always sure they were good changes. "And Daniel's friend, Sarah, was host to Osiris for years and we got her back."

"Sarah." Ella remembered that name. Another one of Daniel's mysteries came clearer. "Is she okay, now?"

"She is doing well. She had a long rehabilitation but now she is back to teaching." Then Sam made a promise to Ella. "We will get Alex back, Ella. The guys are going to be looking for us. We just have to stay alive until they get here."

"Sounds like a plan," Ella's laugh was weak, but she tried to sound strong.

Both women turned and leaned against the wall. "How are you feeling, Ella?" Sam asked.

She gave a slight, snorting laugh. "Hungry, nauseous. Very, _very_, tired. Just another day in pregnancy, I suppose. I hope whatever that Loki thing is; it remembers that pregnant women have to eat. A lot."

It was time to tell her. "Ella, he's after your child. He wants the baby."

"Of course he does," she surprised Sam by responding. "What else would an evil alien want from a pregnant human?" She was quiet for a few minutes. "But I'll tell you right now, Samantha, I'll kill him myself before I let him touch my baby."

The way she said it left Sam no room for doubting her. "Ella, would lying down help your stomach?"

"Maybe."

"Then lie down. You can rest your head on my legs. We both need some sleep."

Ella rested her head in Sam's lap. It was little colder with her whole body on the floor, but her stomach stopped churning so much. As she drifted off to sleep, a memory surfaced.

"I guess Daniel's grandfather was right," she muttered.

"What?" Sam asked.

"I told Daniel not to look in its eyes…" she fell sleep.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Loki looked out at the blurred star field his view screen displayed. Hyperdrive speeds would get him to his destination in two days but…he called one of his men over.

"Patrick," he addressed the human. "Col. Carter tells me her team will be looking for her. We have a detour to make."

* * *

TBC 


	13. Chapter 13

_Previously: _

"Patrick,"Loki addressed the human. "Col. Carter tells me her team will be looking for her. We have a detour to make."

* * *

Col. Cameron Mitchell wandered the halls of Thor's ship, looking for Daniel. He considered calling him on the radio, but this felt like a better way to do it. Both Cam and Teal'c were worried about their teammates. General O'Neill and Daniel were wearing similar expressions of anger and barely disguised fear. Teal'c had agreed to check in on the General while Cam looked for the missing civilian. 

As he searched for his errant friend, Cameron was struck by the sheer size of the Asgard vessel. He knew that a fair amount of the space was taken up by the hyperdrive but the hallways were labyrinthine. It made little sense, as he never saw more than one or two Asgard per ship.

_Maybe when the standard Asgard ship design was developed, there were just more of the little guys to fill them,_ he speculated. For the first time, the true impact of the Asgard war with the Replicators struck home to the soldier.

Asgard did not have much use for human-style furniture. But Daniel was not one to complain. Cam found him sitting on the floor, surrounded by books and notes.

"Hey, Jackson, what ya' up to?" Cam asked.

Daniel looked up with the vague and blank expression he always had when studying ancient history. "Um, I am trying to learn more about the legends of Loki. I think that is the only way that we are going to figure out what is going on here."

"I thought Thor was taking us to Loki?"

"No, Thor is taking us to the hidden lab that Asgard Loki used to store the Goa'uld that has taken him as a host. We have no idea what we are going to find."

Cam slid down to the floor next to a stack of books. He picked up the one on the top and flipped through it, only to realize it was written in German. "So, finding anything?"

There was a short silence before the archeologist answered him. "You know, I was always surprised that there was an Asgard like Loki. Loki was a trickster god. He was a god of mischief and mayhem and loved to scare the humans. Does that sound like an Asgard to you?" When Cam merely shook his head, Daniel continued. "And look at this story here," he reached for the book in Cam's hands and flipped to an illustration of a woodcarving. "Most historians claim there has never been an established cult of Loki. Although he was part of the Nordic cannon, he was more often seen as a part of other god's stories. Except this one village." He tapped the page.

The woodcarving showed a scene of terror. Fire licked down from the sky, igniting the small dwellings. The humans were posed in stylized postures of fear and horror.

"What happened here?" Cameron asked.

"This came from a village called Tuunguskaar. The village ceased to exist after the fire. Only a few witnesses escaped to tell the story. The inscription reads, 'Our God deserted us. Madness has ensued. Brother kills brother, husband kills wife. Fire rains from the sky.'" Daniel looked up with an expectant gleam in his eye.

Cam hated to let his teammate down, but; "Okay, what does that mean?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Don't you see? The village of Tuunguskaar worshipped Loki. Notice that the inscription reads 'Our _god_' not 'Our _gods._' The Norse cannon was a polytheistic culture, yet here they believed in one god. This has to have happened when the Goa'uld was there. The Asgard, Loki, comes in, studying humans. A legend begins. An Asgard would have been content to stay in the background but a Goa'uld would not. So let's say that this Goa'uld manages to get to the village. Chaos ensues. Maybe it took over one person, maybe it took over several. After enough goes wrong, Loki comes down to investigate. And here the Goa'uld finds its new home."

"I don't know, Jackson," Cam replied, skeptically. "That's just not how Goa'uld behave."

"Thanks, new guy, I know that. But it _is _how Loki behaved. The Loki of Earth myth, at any rate." Daniel tapped his pen on the book as his eyes slipped into his foggy, scholar look.

"Okay," Cam spoke before he lost Daniel to his thoughts, "so the Goa'uld sees Loki and decides to go for the big tasty treat. And that is when this weapon gets built?"

The tapping continued. "I guess, I just don't know. The weapon was fired on Earth at least once. I think this woodcarving proves that. And Thor said that Goa'uld Loki was discovered because of the weapon. But there is missing time. The Goa'uld would have had access to Loki's ship and technology. Now, Thor swears that this weapon was dismantled but what if there was another one? What if that is what the Trust and Dr. Gillson are after?"

"Are they after the weapon, or are they after the Goa'uld symbiote?"

Daniel snapped his book shut. "Both would be my guess. We won't have any clear answer on that one until we get to the lab and see if the symbiote is still there."

"You do realize that if Dr. Gillson finds the symbiote, he has at least three people that he can put it into."

Daniel did not respond. Instead, he gave Cam a very worried look and leaned his head back against the wall.

Their radios suddenly clicked to life. "Daniel, Mitchell," O'Neill's voice came through, "come back to the bridge. We'll be there in five minutes."

"On our way sir," Cam radioed back, as he helped Daniel pull his work together.

Together they jogged back to the bridge. The viewscreen showed a very ugly and barren planet. "Are we gonna be able to breathe down there?" Cam asked.

"Although the planet itself is uninhabitable by oxygen dependant life forms, I know that the laboratory has breathable air," Thor responded.

"When was the last time you were here?" Cam asked.

"Approximately 500 of your years ago," came the bland reply.

Cam quirked an eyebrow. "Well let's hope someone paid the electric bill."

"All right, everybody listen up," General O'Neill interjected roughly. Cam snapped to attention. "We are not picking up any life signs down there but that may not mean anything. _Be prepared._"

The humans formed a back-to-back circle, guns at the ready. Thor, unarmed as always, positioned himself at the center of the ring. Focused on his job, Cam barely registered the transporter's flash of light before it was gone. They were left in a dim room, illuminated only by the lights from their gun sights. Within seconds, though, automatic lights flicked on. It was a vast lab of Asgard design.

"Spread out," the General ordered.

As Cam walked away from his teammates, he was truck by the cleanliness of the room, an observation that was echoed by Daniel a moment later.

"Jack, this place is spotless," Daniel said.

"Yeah, it doesn't look like it has been left alone for a day, let alone 500 years," the General answered him, giving Thor an inquiring glance.

"The air circulation system would have severely limited the accumulation of dust," Thor explained. "However, I too am surprised…someone has been here."

At that moment, Teal'c shouted an alarm; "O'Neill!"

The men ran over to the far corner Teal'c had been investigating. The site that greeted them brought them all to a stop, as did the smell.

After a brief silence, O'Neill looked to Daniel; "Daniel, care to explain?"

Daniel couldn't. On the floor lay the body of an older man. Lying on top of the man's chest was a handwritten note that read, _Try again, Daniel_.

Cam knelt down and felt the skin on the dead man's face. "This guy has been dead for awhile. And isn't this the doctor that Alex Portmanoy was working for?"

Daniel, however, was staring at the note. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Kneeling down, his eyes flicked back and forth between the papers until he finally said, "That's Alex's handwriting."

O'Neill gave him a piercing look, "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

"So, is Alex Portmanoy working with the people who kidnapped Ella McPherson and Col. Carter?" Teal'c inquired, sternly.

"Or is Dr. Portmanoy now host to a Goa'uld?" Cam hated to put the idea out there, but it had to be said.

General O'Neill was not convinced. "I don't know," he said sourly, unknowingly echoing Cam's thoughts from earlier. "Personalized notes, dead bodies left as gifts. This does not sound like how Goa'uld behave."

"It is, however, exactly how this Goa'uld would behave." Thor joined them in time to hear the last comment. "The symbiote is no longer hidden here."

"And there is no point in having a symbiote unless you put it in someone," O'Neill added, looking downward towards Daniel.

Daniel sat back on his heels and closed his eyes. "So, where do we go now? Could they still be on Earth and we came all the way out here for nothing?"

"Not for nothing, Dr. Jackson," Thor responded. "We needed to know exactly what we are facing. Now we do. I know where this Goa'uld will go. We must stop him."

* * *

TBC 


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's note: This was inspired by a question Desert-Blosom-by-the-Sea asked me a while ago._

_

* * *

Warnings: Language, some mild violence.

* * *

_

_Previously:_

_"Not for nothing, Dr. Jackson," Thor responded. "We needed to know exactly what we are facing. Now we do. I know where this Goa'uld will go. We must stop him."_

_

* * *

_

Her hair was heavy and quite black and only curled at the tips; her eyes were greenish-grey, it's true, but they were big wonderful eyes, with long, black…'I promised him I would bear it…and I will. You have to bear things. Think what soldiers bear. Papa is a soldier…and he would never say a word – not one word'…The first night she spent in the attic was a thing Sara never forgot. During it's passing she lived through a wild, unchildlike woe of which she never shared with anyone…

The greatest gift Daniel had ever given Ella was a love of reading. Books that she loved she would read, over and over again, until she knew them by heart. When things got rough during her teen years, when Brian was scaring her, or something had gone wrong at her group home, Ella would sink into the stories in her head and the world around her would vanish.

She was trying to do that now. She didn't want to hear Sam and Loki talking about his weapon. She wanted to be somewhere, anywhere, else. But something was distracting her. The story's flow was shattering and her mind was jumping from scene to scene, phrase to phrase. What was distracting her? And then she felt it. Loki was playing with her hair.

The Goa'uld _thing_ had seemingly taken a shine to her. He liked to have her sit by his chair as he spoke over her head to his men or Samantha Carter. It made her feel like a battered lapdog. Only Sam's words about how the women had to focus on keeping themselves alive had made Ella hold her tongue until now.

But this? No, this was too much. Only Alex touched her like this. Whenever they sat next to each other watching television or reading, Alex would often wind his fingers through Ella's curls. He rarely realized he was doing it. This freak was not allowed to touch her that way.

Without considering what she was doing, Ella jerked her head away from his hands. "Stop that," she ordered.

Instantly, his hand was back in her hair, pulling it painfully. He yanked her head back leaned into her face. "What did you say?"

Oh, how much she hated that weird, metallic voice. Neither Ella not Loki noticed Sam, who was also sitting on the floor surrounded by notes and technical drawings, tense up. They were too busy diving into battle. "I do not want you touching me like that," she said, fighting not to flinch when his eyes glowed.

"Is there some way that you would rather I touch you?" he leered.

"Not that I can think of."

Flinging her head forward, Loki released her. "Stand up."

"No."

"I said 'stand up.'" His voice had taken on the ringing tones of authority that would not be denied.

"And I said 'NO!'" she yelled back. "I am not your slave and I am not putting on a show for you."

"That's what you think." Loki leaped to his feet, grabbed Ella's wrists and dragged her up. "I think I want to see your tattoo."

"Which one?" she asked, trying to yank her wrists free. "The smiley face on my shoulder, or the 'Go Fuck Yourself' scrawled across my ass?" She had not realized how much stronger Loki was than Alex. It felt like her wrists were being crushed in cement.

He just smiled. "You know which one."

"You're hurting me."

"I can make it worse."

"You know what it looks like. I know you do."

"Yes, but Samantha hasn't seen it. And neither have my men."

"No," she replied, but her voice was loosing some of its strength.

Seeing his opening, Loki spun her to face the chair and forced her over the arm, her cheek pressed against the cushion. He kept one hand pressed between her shoulder blades, pinning her shoulders down, while his other hand reached for the waist of her pants.

Sam was on her feet. "Stop it!"

He whipped his head to look at the Colonel. "Unless you want this to end _very badly_ I suggest you stay where you are." He gently tugged down one side of Ella's pants, revealing the delicate drawing that graced her left hip. Held within two hands was a broken heart with a dove flying from the break.

Ella closed her eyes tightly as she felt his fingers against her skin.

"It's lovely. When did you get it?"

"Years ago," she whispered.

"Speak up. And open your eyes," he told her, lightly. He continued to trace the lines, ignoring her shudders of disgust. "Tell Samantha the story."

She opened her eyes but couldn't meet Samantha's gaze. She had never felt so debased. She wanted to cry. "Daniel and I got tattoos together. He was…Dammit, you know this story! Why are you doing this?"

His fingers dug into her flesh. "Tell it."

"Daniel was upset. He had been very depressed about his wife and I thought this would be crazy and fun, something to distract him from everything. I wanted to make him feel better."

Loki leaned down and pressed his lips onto her exposed flesh. "So, dear wife, tell me. What else did you do that night to make him 'feel better?'"

"What do you mean?" _Please don't do this to me._

"Did you fuck him?"

Had he hit her, Loki could not have hurt her worse than he just did. She took as deep a breath as she could, trying to block out all of the emotions that were rising in her chest. "Alex and Sam know that I was involved with Daniel. What is your point?"

"My point is that when you got your tattoos, wasn't Daniel's wife still alive?"

_Oh Christ. I can't…_ "It was…we didn't…"

He persisted, loving her humiliation. "Daniel's wife was still alive the first time you fucked him and you knew it, didn't you? She didn't die until over a year later, did she?"

"…yes…she was still alive...as far as we knew..." So many years later, that stupid, _stupid_ night still shamed her. Daniel, his long hair obscuring his face and the tears in his eyes, pulling away from her, subsumed by his guilt. It had been almost two months before she heard from him again. It had been longer than that before she forgave herself.

Loki's voice oozed sympathy. "Your husband didn't know that, did he?"

She shook her head slightly. "No, he didn't know. No one knew."

"He knows now," Loki hissed into her ear."I should tell you, he always wondered. There was something about that story that made him wonder. But he was too much of a gentleman to ask." He brushed her hair away from her face. "And now Alex knows and Samantha knows that while Daniel's wife was missing, who knows where, suffering who knows what, you were safe at home, fucking her husband."

"It wasn't like that," she whispered, even though, to her,it had always felt _exactly_ like that.

"Of course, my dear. Of course. I am sure that your being a whore was the best thing you could do for Daniel that night." He patted her bottom and stood straight up, keeping one hand on her back. "Now, Samantha," he turned to the other woman in the room.

"What?" Sam's breathing was shallow and her teeth were clenched.

"Watch your temper, little girl. This could still end badly. You've been lying to me. You know how to fix my weapon and you will. Lie to me again, _disobey me_ again, and there will be a price to pay." With that, he released Ella and stormed out of the bridge, signaling for two of his men to follow him.

Sam rushed over to Ella, but the redhead pulled away from her help. Burying her face in the seat cushion, Ella reached back and pulled her pants back over her hip. The she stood up, enraged.

"_What the fuck was that?_" Ella screamed out, ignoring the presence of the third guard who was smiling at her, smug-faced from the back of the room. "What _was_ that? And why do I feel like it actually had nothing to do with me?" She heard the hysteria in her voice but was unable to calm down. That attack had shredded her.

"I'm so sorry," Sam fumbled an apology. She looked defeated. "He and I were talking about his weapon and how to repair it. I was lying. I was going to sabotage it. I don't know how he knew I was lying."

"But – why…" Ella threw her hands in the direction of the chair, unable to speak further.

Sam's eyes were full of furious misery. "Our first night here, he warned me that he would use you against me. Every time I…_disobey_ him, he'll hurt you. I won't do it again. I promise."

Ella looked away from her friend's blue eyes. She couldn't bear to see the impotent rage that she knew was mirrored in her own eyes. Frantically looking around the room, Ella began to panic. She was trapped, she was hurt, and this nightmare was never going to end. There was going to be no escape for her, or for Sam, or for her husband. Gripping the sides of her head in her hands, Ella's rage exploded in a long , throat-tearing scream.

* * *

TBC 

_The book at the beginning of this chapter is **A Little Princess**, by Frances Hodges Bennet._


	15. Interlude I

_Author's note: This is kind of short, but I wanted to try something a little different. Please let me know if you love it, hate it, or don't even see what's so different about it. _

_Warnings: Language and some sexual imagery. _

_

* * *

Previously:_ She was trapped, she was hurt, and this nightmare was never going to end. There was going to be no escape for her, or for Sam, or for her husband. Gripping the sides of her head in her hands, Ella's rage exploded in a long , throat-tearing scream.

* * *

Interlude I

Sam stared out the view screen as the blue glaze of hyperdrive distorted stars whipped past. With all her heart she hoped that Jack was seeing these same stars because that would mean that he was coming for her. _Oh, Jack,_ she wondered silently, _how did things get so screwed up?_

It was not in Sam's nature to sit around and wait to be rescued. The damsel in distress act did not work for her. If it had just been her trapped on this ship, Sam would be handling things much differently.

_He wants me to make Daniel's bomb, Jack. _She rested her chin on top of her bound hands._ He calls it his Laughter. And I can do it, too. It is genius and a nasty piece of work, but I can make Loki's Laughter rain down once more. And many, **many** people will die in a fiery holocaust. But if I don't do it…_

Against her will, Sam's eyes slipped over to the red-haired woman slumped by Loki's chair. It was hard for Sam to witness Ella's defeat as Loki threaded his fingers through the woman's hair. _He hurts her, Jack. He knows what she fears and he hurts her with no effort. I try to interfere and things just get worse. And what's really scary to me is that I don't think he has even started on the damage he could do. If I go along with his orders and if I make his weapon work, Ella and her baby will be safe a little while longer, but at what cost? I need you to get here, Jack. I need your help._

She shifted in her position on the floor against the back wall of the bridge. Two guards kept constant watch over her at all times and her hands were bound, but at least they were in front of her. It seemed that Loki did not trust her out of his sight for too long during the waking hours. She had already combed over every surface of the closet they were being "stored" in. She found nothing.

_I don't know what to do. Would things be different now if I had just let you stay over that last night? Or would they have killed you, to? I just wasn't ready to tell people yet. I liked having this all to myself… I wanted you to come over. I wanted **you **that night._

Sam was unaware of the faint smile that flickered across her face as she thought of her lover's lean, hard body, his fingers gently entwining with hers as they moved together. Even now, with her life at it's most ridiculously bad, Sam found comfort in what her and Jack O'Neill had finally found in each other. She wasn't ready to let it go yet. And that meant that she had to survive until help came.

Her eyes flicked back over to Ella. Since yesterday's attack, the pregnant woman had slipped deeper and deeper into depression. When they had been locked up last night (night? day?Sam had totally lost track. It just seemed to happen when Loki grew tired of them.) Sam tried to talk to her, to comfort her, but Ella would have none of it. She pulled herself as far away as the cramped room would allow. The silence Ella shrouded herself in was too thick for Sam's attempts at conversation. Sam was not sure if Ella was more ashamed of the secrets that Loki revealed or the fact that there were witnesses to her degradation.

_I just wanted her to know that she had no reason to be ashamed. It doesn't matter to me when or how her and Daniel first got together. It was years ago and I remember how alone Daniel was while he was looking for Sha're. It's a little nice to know that he some comfort in someone, at least once._

Watching Ella stare, dead-eyed, at the floor, Sam grew aware of the great weight on her shoulders. _What do I do, Jack? Help a psychotic Goa'uld with a weapon to take over Earth or sacrifice a mother and her unborn child to a war they know nothing about? I can play along with him, but for how long? Please get here._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

If Ella had had any idea of how far gone she was, it would have scared her. She could have diagnosed her condition in one of her clients; "dissociative disorder as a result of mental trauma" maybe, or "severe depression with catatonia." But to analyze it, Ella would have had to be aware of it and she was not aware ofanything at the moment.Ella had always thought she was so strong and could survive anything. But the only way she was surviving right now was by giving up.

He knew too much. He knew how to cause her pain. And he was…

He had been touching her all day. Simple, innocuous touches, running his fingers through her hair, brushing a stray tear from her face, tracing her fingers with his own. It was a constant reminder that he had won. In the end, she stopped fighting. She could not be in her body when he had his hands on her. She would die. So she left, she escaped…she hid.

Ella hid in the quiet. Her mind slipped into memories…images…she hid in the dimples at the base of Alex's spine…she hid in the roughness of his cheek…the post-shower dampness of his neck. She buried herself in the glowing warmth that was their child and the night she told him…

_Lying in bed, covered with her favorite comforter, she felt his weight push down his side of the bed. His hand slipped under her nightshirt and rested on her bare stomach. "It's here," he whispered in her ear. "Our baby is right here." He suggested names, both funny and beautiful…this for a girl, that for a boy…while his hand traced widening circles, his breath tickling her ear. His hands crept up, capturing her breasts, already exquisitely sensitive and aching. He continued to whisper his love and their future while his hands played, toying, teasing, delighting her and making her gasp…_

A movement within brought Ella back into her body with a painful lurch. _What was…it couldn't be…_it was too soon to feel the baby, wasn't it?

Whatever it was, it brought Ella nothing but pain as the movement ceased and she was stranded, trapped in a body that she could not claim because his hands were still there. She felt weak. Her baby was in the body that she was running from. It needed protection, but Ella was falling apart. She did not deserve to have this baby if she couldn't keep it safe.

_Alex, do something!_ She tried to reach him. _Please, if you can hear me, make him stop. He's killing us…_But even if Alex was able to hear his wife's silent pleas, there was nothing he could do.

_But Sam is still here,_ Ella glanced slightly over her shoulder, stealing a look at the tall, blonde Air Force Colonel. _I'm not alone. And she says that Jack and Daniel and the rest of her team are coming. Daniel will save us. _

_**No he won't.**_

It was an old voice that Ella heard. An echo of nightmares that Ella no longer had. She tried to ignore it. Ignore it and it will go away, like an under-the-bed-monster.

_**Daniel can't save you. He couldn't before and he can't now. Just give it up.**_

The voice had always been persistent. It would be answered. _That's not true. _

_**He failed then and he's gonna fail now.**_

_I am not going to do this. I do not need this right now. I am not listening. You are not real._

_**God, you are pathetic. Look at you, cringing and crying. Why should anyone even want to help you? Why would Alex even want to come back to someone as fucked up as you are?**_

_Alex loves me._

_**Alex lies. Look at everything he hid from you. **_

_I don't care about that. Alex loves me!_

**_Maybe he used to but now he knows what a whore you are. He knows what you did. And if he could see what an ugly pathetic mess you are right now, he would despise you._**

_Shut up! You are not real! _

**_Look around you bitch! You are hiding from everything that's real._ **

_Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don't have to listen to you. You are lying and you are not real. So shut-_

A ripping pain lanced across Ella's finger. Wrenched back to reality once more, Ella met Loki's eyes with her own.

"Uh uh uh. I don't think so, darling." He held her hand by the wrist. The pain and teeth marks told Ella that she had bitten herself without realizing it. But he caught her.

"Please don't tie my hands up. I won't do it again, I promise." A small part of her died as she heard the small, pleading tone in her voice.

He considered her request. "Okay. This time. But I believe that it is time for the two of you to get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow." He smiled toothily at Sam. "Ella, are you hungry? Do you want some food first?" She shook her head mutely. "Are you nauseous?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Well, my men will give you some water. After all, you have to take care of my son." He rubbed Ella's stomach and her nausea increased ten-fold.

It was a great relief when Ella was led out of the room toward the closet. The dark room had ceased to be fearful to her and had become a place that she had longed for all day. But she knew it would be dangerous to let anyone know, so she dragged her feet and refused to cross the doorway until one of the men was forced to shove her in. He tossed in a bottle of water as an afterthought. Sam stumbled in behind her.

Clutching the water to her forehead, Ella sank to the floor. She spent a few minutes trying to clear her head and settle her stomach with deep breaths. She had spent so much of the last twenty-four hours shut down, that it was almost painful to be fully present in her skin. But it was time to wake up.

"Sam," Ella whispered.

"Yes, Ella?" Sam was surprised. She did not know that Ella was still awake and it was the first time Ella had addressed her since yesterday.

"I'm breaking." It tore at Sam's heart to hear so much pain be revealed. "I don't think…that Daniel and them are going to get here soon enough."

"No. Don't think that. I've been in worse situations than this and have been rescued. We just have to hold on."

"But it's not just me I'm worried about." Ella turned her head. She could just make out Sam's profile in the glimmer of light that trickled in from the doorframe. "It's not even me he wants. You know that. I'm just for fun. He wants the baby. He wants to do… things to my baby…you won't even tell me what so it must be bad."

"I promise that whatever it takes, he will not get your child," Sam swore.

"Thank you, Sam. Okay, I need you to listen to me," Ella braced herself. What she was about to say went against everything she believed in, but she meant it from the bottom of her heart. "When we first ended up here, I really believed that we would be okay, that someone would get here in time, but – we are never going to get the upper hand on him. If it comes down to it, and the only way to keep him from my baby is to… kill myself…I will do it."

Sam was horrified. "Ella no! That is not - We are not there yet."

"Yes, _I _am."

"Ella," Sam continued her protest, "_we_ are not there yet. You're not even that far along in your pregnancy. Even if everything else goes wrong, we still have seven months, right?"

"Right, but," Sam heard anger seep into Ella's voice, "that thing out there is a fucking genius, right? Do you know every trick he has? Can you promise me that he doesn't have some sort of alien technology that can take me baby from me and, I don't know, grow it without me?"

"Well, I don't - "

"Can you?"

Sam thought of all of the technology that she had seen over the past nine years. She thought of the sarcophagus, Asgard cloning abilities. Could she promise what Ella asked? Could she promise anything? "No I can't."

"So?"

All of the weight on Sam's shoulder's compounded. "Ella, please don't make me - "

"You don't have to do anything Sam. But if it comes down to it, don't get in my way."

Sam despaired. She heard Ella lying down on the floor. At long last, the right words came to her. "Ella, don't give up. I know you are scared and I know that this all new to you, but I need you to keep fighting. Your baby and Alex need you to fight for them. Alex isn't dead and you may be the only chance he has. I promise I will not interfere with what you need to do to protect your baby in the end, but we are _not there yet_."

She waited for a response. At long last, she felt Ella's hand slip into her own. Ella squeezed Sam's fingers in the darkness.

"Okay," Ella said softly. "Okay."

* * *

TBC 


	16. Interlude II

_Author's note: One review? Just one? Was it that bad? Well, here is the last chapter of my little weirdness, and then back to the action. Let me know what you think._

Warnings: Just a little language and some artistic pretentions. : )

* * *

Previously:

She waited for a response. At long last, she felt Ella's hand slip into her own. Ella squeezed Sam's fingers in the darkness.

"Okay," Ella said softly. "Okay."

* * *

Interlude II

Far away from Sam and Ella, an Asgard ship slipped through hyperspace.

_See what happens when I look away, Samantha? You disappear. _

Jack O'Neill could only assume that he was heading towards Sam and Ella. Thor was being unusually taciturn; he would only say that he knew where Loki would head, given a chance, and it was not Earth. And the Asgard stressed that it was imperative that the Goa'uld be stopped.

_Sam, we are coming. Thor thinks he's got a bead on you. And when we do find you…it's gonna be hard to let you go again._

It seemed likely that the Goa'uld had taken a new host.Jack willed away the mental image of Samantha glaring at him with glowing eyes. He'd seen it before, once in reality and countless times in nightmares. It was not a possibility that he would contemplate. It was also painful to contemplate Ella McPherson as a possible host. He never wanted to see her lively features twisted by the arrogant cruelty of a Goa'uld symbiote. And it would destroy Daniel.

It seemed most likely that the Goa'uld host had stolen Alex Portmanoy's body. The handwriting on the letter was a strong clue. _Well, wherever you are hiding, you little bastard, we will get you out._

Jack sighed out his frustration and rested his head against the porthole he was standing by. No one was near him, so he could let his "game face" slip. He was worried. Jack was not a man who waited patiently. He preferred being on the front line of a fight. But right now he was blind and helpless.

Jack had been in love before. He and Sara had been very happy together. Losing that had put a hole in Jack's heart that only Sam had ever filled. He'd pushed her away, hiding behind regulations and Sam's comparative youth. Sam had fled as well. For two brave people, they both slunk around like cowards for years. It was only after Jacob Carter's death that anything changed. On their trip to Jack's cabin, Sam found Jack alone in the woods. With no hint of shame, she told Jack that she loved him and did not want to go another day with him not knowing it. He had been speechless. So he did what felt natural. He pulled her to him and kissed her long and hard. As soon as they could breathe again, he told her that he loved her as well. Her beautiful, blue eyes lit up and they kissed deeper.

With Daniel and Teal'c along for the vacation, there was limit to how far things could go, but once they were back in Colorado, Jack and Sam spent a long time satisfying years of curiosity.

Sam was a wonder to Jack. They could talk for hours without pause. Truly, he did not understand everything she had done at Area 51, but it was fascinating, nonetheless. Once Sam transferred back to the SG1 to help fight the Orii, their time was more limited and therefore more intense. Jack loved Sam and Sam loved Jack. It was as simple and as complicated as that.

_And leave it to a Goa'uld to fuck it all up_, he thought to himself, angrily. _Sam, if I get there and find you – hurt – or worse – it will be very hard to remember that the host is an innocent in all this. So don't be…dead that is…or even hurt…_

Lightly thumping his fist against the frame, Jack leaned his head against the porthole. He barely registered the star tracks that streaked by. All he could see was Sam. Sam with her enormous blue eyes and her porcelain skin. Sam with smudges on her face and dirt caked under her nails as she tried to make something of his garden. Sam in a low-cut clingy dress that made him almost forget they had dinner plans. Sam. All he could see was her.

"General O'Neill, please respond," Col. Mitchell's voice crackled through the radio.

"O'Neill here." He worked to reassume his "game face."

"Thor would like you to come to the bridge, sir. He has something he would like you to see."

"I'm on my way." Jack spared one more glance out the window before turning towards the bridge. _Hang in there, Sam. I'm coming._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Daniel was trying to record the recent events in his personal mission log. They had learned a great deal in the past few days about Asgard and Goa'ulds and the true legend of Loki. It needed to be documented. And on a personal level, everything had gone so wrong so fast that Daniel needed some perspective. He had learned a long time ago that writing gave him that.

Seated on the floor, just around the corner from the bridge, he struggled to find a coherent thought. He closed his eyes and tried to tune out the background noise. It was surprise when Nicolas Ballard's face rose up in his mind. Daniel had neither seen nor heard from his grandfather since they had left him on P7X-377 but right now he was on Daniel's mind.

Daniel started to write.

_It was you who first inspired me to look further for answers to the questions I had. Without your example, would I have come as far as I have?_

_It's weird to think of it that way, and god knows I never said it to you, but it's true. There is a lot of you in me. I always tried to deny it and keep separate from your legac. I know how close I was to my own nervous breakdown when Catherine found me. Sleepless nights, obsessive thought patterns. Isolating myself from everyone who cared about me. I didn't see the warning signs until it was almost too late. The Stargate saved me. I thought it would save you._

_It's hard to miss someone I barely knew. When I told you that you had to tell me everything, I thought we would get that chance. Yet, the very first time we tried to contact you, you were gone. The Crystal Skull sat there, dead and depleted of energy. The radiation in the pyramid was gone, as well. I had lost you._

_At first, I lay awake nights, worried that you had tried to get back, but had been prevented. But I finally accepted the truth. You wanted to be there more than you wanted to be here. It was as if the Skull's purpose was waiting for you. I don't hate you for it. It would be like hating the sky for being blue. Once you knew what was out there, you would never be content with life on Earth. I just wish you had said goodbye. _

_I'm sorry, Nick. I've never said that, but I am. After I was brought back from my year on Abydos, it should have been my priority to get you out of the hospital. After all, but then I knew you were telling the truth. I did not understand how, but somehow you had seen aliens. You would have been an asset to the Stargate program._

_Except…well, you were still **you**, Nick. You were this crazy, cantankerous old man who mocked me. I couldn't bring you to the SGC. For one thing, you threw me out of your life. You were the only thing I had and when I lost you, I lost my last connection to my parents. And, even if we had patched things up sooner, I didn't want you there. I had finally found people willing to listen to me. I had found respect. I was too ashamed to be connected to you so I buried you deep. It was just easier that way. Sometimes I really forgot that I even had a blood relative that was still alive. _

_You know who never forgot you? Ella. Ella, a true orphan who had no one. After our museum excursion, she latched on to the idea of you and that damn Skull like it was a fantastical fairy tale. Even as an adult she wanted to meet you. She told me that she had a recurring nightmare of me being sucked into the eyes of the Skull. I felt like such a bastard when I had to laugh at her dream and remind her that the Skull was not dangerous. Honestly, I am not sure that she believed me about that. She has often been too perceptive for my own good. _

_And now look what's happened. Ella never had to look into the Skull's eyes to disappear. After all my attempts at keeping her safe and clueless, I was looking in the wrong direction when the danger came. SGC did a background check on Alex, I did my own, but Jack was right; when the NID does not want you to know something, you don't know it._

_I have helped save the world a few times, Nick. I have helped saved countless other planets. But when it comes to my family, the track record is not as good. I couldn't save my parents or Sha're. I feel like I handed you over to your death. I will save Ella. Without her, I will truly be an orphan._

"Daniel!" Daniel heard Jack's voice bellow down the hall and it snapped him back to awareness.

"Yeah, Jack?" He called back as he walked to the bridge.

Jack, Cameron and Teal'c were all staring at the Asgard screen in the front of the spacious room.

Jack turned to his old friend. "Thor's got something on his sensors. A Goa'uld Al-Kesh, about a day and a half away. It's them."

* * *

TBC 


	17. Chapter 15

_Author's note : Kate - yes, actually. Reviews do make me write faster. : ) But I cannot promise how fast the next chapter will be posted. Sorry. _

_Could the reader/author who has "borrowed" the character of Brian Greerson please respond to my PM? Please. We should talk._

Warnings: Some lauguage, mild violence.

* * *

Previously: 

Jack turned to his old friend. "Thor's got something on his sensors. A Goa'uld Al-Kesh, about a day and a half away. It's them."

_

* * *

_

_he fought…he struggled…his was a powerful mind, even in its current state…he screamed and threw himself against the walls of conciousness..his prison…he screamed but no one heard him…**i'm here! ella, i'm here! please ella, i'm still here**…he screamed…but no one answered…_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Loki stared out of the view screen. A simple blue, green and brown planet floated gracefully in space. Despite the beauty of the sight and the success of his mission, Loki's mood was uncommonly dark. Loki was an optimist. Things tended to go his way or else people tended to die. But at this moment, something was going wrong.

They had arrived at this planet about 36 hours ago. It was one of many in the Protected Planets Treaty and a particular favorite of Thor's. It was where Loki had fled to make his last stand so long ago. He had hid there, devising a smaller and more powerful version of the weapon that he had used to terrorize and destroy the Earth village of Tuunguskaar. Before he had finished, Thor had captured him. But the Goa'uld had known Thor was coming and had hid the Laughter well. Despite a long search, Thor never found the partially created weapon.

Loki had known exactly where to look. The inhabitants of this planet, like most of the Protected Planets, had achieved only limited development. They never disturbed his hidden lab. He scoffed to himself. It would have been great fun to take over this civilization for a while, but he did not have time. Thor was gaining on him. His men had been monitoring the advance of the Asgard ship for some time. It thrilled Loki to know that he would finally get a chance to hurt his enemy where it would cause the most damage. Instead of taking over the civilization, he was going to annihilate it.

As soon as they had made orbit and salvaged the Laughter, Loki dragged the women to the cargo hold. They could barely absorb the enormity in front of them. Then Samantha Carter was set to work. She knew the rules. Complete Loki's masterpiece or Ella would suffer for it. Sam did as she was told. Ella behaved herself as well. So why now, when his Laughter was finished and ready to soar, was he so ill at ease?

He knew one problem was Ella. Even though the redhead was behaving herself and had remained silent for quite some time, there was something different about her. She was looking at him. And not in any way approaching subservient. While there was still a slight trace of fear in her green eyes, there was also a hint of challenge. That, Loki did not like.

He had thought she was broken. He'd seen it in her eyes and in her body. She was broken and unable to fight him anymore. So what had changed in her? He needed her weak and vulnerable to his attack. He had to be careful, though. He wanted her child as much as he wanted the Laughter. Whatever he did next, he could not hurt the child.

Loki turned and looked at the humans on the bridge. As he did, he was once again aware of the persistant sensation in his head. Similar to the buzzing of insects or the flutter of frantic birds it was getting harder for Loki to ignore. That was the other reason for Loki's disturbed mood. The host should be nothing by now. The stupid human should be a whisper of a thought by now. How was there any form or strength to it at all?

Both women looked up at the tall Goa'uld from their perches by his chair. Though they rarely addressed each other in front of him, Loki was aware that their bond had only increased as they were trapped on the ship. He knew that the quickest way to break Ella for good would be to murder Samantha in front of her, but he was hesitant to take that action. His need for Samantha as a scientist was almost over, but he was not ready to let her go. In truth, his hope was to find another symbiote and make Samantha his mate. Her magnificent mind would be, mostly, intact, and her beauty would be even greater. But those were plans for later. He had more immediate concerns.

Ella watched the alien survey his little kingdom of the ship. Loki was right in thinking she looked at him different now. She no longer allowed herself to see her husband in the evil that had taken him. His familiar face with its cool gray eyes and sharp nose was barely recognizable to her. Despite Sam's assertions that Alex was alive, in her heart Ella had to think of him as gone, if not dead. Otherwise, she would not make it. This thing wasn't Alex. It couldn't be Alex treating her like this. That conviction was the only defense she had.

Ella's eyes narrowed as his gaze fell on her. What was he planning now?

He saw it once more. Anger mixed with defiance and bitter sorrow. Her expression delighted him. He needed her broken and he had time to play.

"Do you know what's down there, wife?" Loki gestured to the screen. She neither responded nor looked away. "It's a planet, not unlike your own." He took her hand and pulled her closer to the view screen. He had learned that his casual touches were harder for her to handle than his actual abuse so he stood behind her lightly massaging her shoulders. "There are humans down there, hundreds of thousands of humans. Fewer than on Earth, but no less deserving of happiness and life. Each with their own hopes, desires. Families." He let his hands drop to her stomach, smiling slyly as her tension increased. He knew she wanted to pull away but was restraining herself. So she wasn't that strong yet. Good. "Do you know what I am going to do to them?"

She turned her head and gave him a look of open hatred. "What?"

"I'm going to kill them." He kissed her cheek.

Furiously, she pulled away. "Why?"

"I have to test my weapon somewhere, don't I?" was his bland reply. "I have to make sure it works before I use it on your sorry little planet. And the bonus is, I get to settle an old score at the same time." His voice grew more vicious as he continued to talk.

"You said that there were people down there," Ella protested. "What have they ever done to you?"

"They turned me over to Thor." Actual anger trickled into Loki's voice. For the first time, Ella realized that this might be more than just a game to him.

"Who?" she asked.

"The Asgard that captured me." He leaned against the control panel, arms across his chest.

In frustration, Ella pulled her hair away from her face, trying to make some sense of this. "When was this?"

"Oh, it was thousands of years ago." His airy hand gestured brushed away the millennia as if they did not matter. To him, they didn't.

"Then these people," she slapped at the view screen, "have done nothing to you."

"I would say that it's a matter of perspective." He snapped his fingers at the men. "Do it."

Ella's throat closed as the weapon from the cargo bay suddenly shimmered to life in space. The top of the pyramid was pointed towards the planet. Sam rose to her feet.

"Don't do this," Sam pleaded. Loki just laughed.

"Please," Ella tried harder. "If you do this, you'll be murdering innocent people."

"It's not like your husband never murdered anyone, Ella," he sneered back at her.

She paled in rage. It felt good to let her anger free. It gave her strength. "My husband never murdered anyone."

"Perhaps you don't know about all of the patients who depended on him. Perhaps no one has told you about how the wonderful Alex Portmanoy killed them all, one after another, with a simple needle. They thought he was their salvation. He was their _executioner!_" By this point Loki was actually yelling in Ella's face.

"He didn't know! He would never hurt anyone intentionally. Alex is a good man, you filthy bastard!" How dare he? How dare this evil son of a bitch ever think to call her husband a murderer as if that made whathe was about to do forgivable or even understandable.

"Is that really what you tell yourself? He never even told you about it. Was it your precious Daniel who told you? Did Daniel sugarcoat everything for your sensitive little self? Daniel wasn't there. He didn't hear the screams. He didn't smell the death. Alex did. Remember, darling, Alex knew the truth. And _I_ have his memories, not you." He moved towards his control panel, where the controls to the weapon had been programmed.

"Stop!" she ordered him. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"I'm the villain, here, wife-of-mine. God, you are stupid. You know, the closest you've ever come to actual brains was when you fucked geniuses."

Ella swung and punched him dead in the face. Everyone froze as the Goa'uld staggered back.

Ella was as horrified by her actions as everyone else was, but tried to hide it. It was too late to undo her mistake so she simply pressed on. "You're not a villain. You are just a pathetic child."

His eyes lit up with rage and delight. He had been looking for a way to really hurt her. He licked the blood off of his lips. "Pathetic child?" He reached out and grabbed her before she could get away.

She fought him with everything she had. He wrapped his arms around her chest and started to drag her to the control panel. Ella kicked and screamed her rage out. She reached up to scratch out his eyes and managed to score long bloody marks across his cheek. He grabbed her offending hand and trapped it against the panel. "Do you want to see what your husband really is now? Do you want to know what it's like to be a killer?"

"Alex isn't a killer!" She was breathing hard and continued her struggle, to no avail.

"_Yes he was! _And so am I. And I think you would look better with blood on your hands as well." With that, he slammed Ella's hand on the firing mechanism.

"No!" Ella screamed her denial as a white-hot beam erupted from the Laughter. Sam's cry echoed Ella's distress. Even from the distance of the ship, everyone could see the beam slash the planet's surface and explode into a horrifying fireball.

"See what happens when you upset me, Ella?" he hissed into her ear, his blood rubbing into her hair and skin.

"Sir," one of the men shouted out. "A hyperdrive window has just opened starboard. It's an Asgard vessel."

Loki pulled the stunned woman closer to him and grinned. "Perfect timing."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Thunderstruck, Daniel stared out of the view screen of Thor's bridge. They had been too late. _We were too damn late!_ On the planet below, a lake of fire consumed the land. Without warning, another beam fired from the Goa'uld weapon, feeding the inferno.

"Thor, target that weapon!" Jack ordered.

"Sir, we are being hailed by the other ship," Mitchell reported.

Daniel heard of all of this from a far distance. All he was aware of was the slaughter that was being played out below. It was his nightmare a thousand times worse. He barely noticed when the scene disappeared and was replaced by the faces of two of the people they had been looking for. With an effort, Daniel came back to the present. His eyes locked with Ella's.

"No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She was whispering, over and over, her anguish transmitting through the ship's speakers. Then Daniel's recognized the man who held her.

Alex Portmanoy's face never before held the savagery that it was showing now. The Goa'uld symbiote had found a new home. The alien's eyes glowed as blood trickled down his skin.

"Son of a bitch," Jack muttered.

"I know you've targeted my Laughter," Loki's voice rang out over Ella's. "I suggest you power down your weapons immediately." A human male dragged Samantha Carter into view. Loki released his hold on Ella, who sagged against the panel. Then Loki took a handgun from his man and pressed it against Sam's temple. "You have no idea how much it would pain me to kill this woman, but I will do it." His voice had lost all of it's teasing and had assumed the flat, furious tones of a killer who would not be denied.

There was a long moment of silence as Jack considered his options. "Thor, do what he said," Jack whispered. Daniel knew that they had lost whatever advantage they had possessed.

"O'Neill, I must destroy this weapon," Thor said quietly.

"Just do it!" Jack yelled.

The Asgard moved a stone. The Asgard weapons were down.

Daniel made eye contact with Ella again. "Ella, can you hear me?"

Her eyes held heartbreak. "Daniel, I'm sorry. I couldn't stop him. He made me do it."

He was not sure what she was talking about. What could Ella have to do with the devastation laid out in front of them? "Ella, it's okay. We're going to get you and Sam out of there."

He knew she heard him when she started to nod her head. Then the Goa'uld interrupted.

"Oh really?" the Goa'uld interrupted. "How? You know if you make a single move, I'll kill Samantha Carter. And if that isn't enough for you, I will be forced to kill Ella as well. I know what she means to you, Daniel Jackson. Are you really ready to loose her?"

The only thing Daniel knew at that moment was that he hated the Goa'uld in front of him. Ella looked like she had been through hell and Sam did not look much better. Daniel swore that he would destroy the Goa'uld who had caused all of this pain. "Look, you can keep the weapon," he bargained. "Just give us our friends and then you can go."

"So, you would just let me keep this host?" Loki asked, scornfully. "Why do I not believe you? Besides, even if I was that stupid, there is no way that Thor would agree to let me go. Would you, Thor?" The Asgard raised his head as he was addressed. "You know you should have killed me a long time ago."

"Indeed I should have," Thor replied.

Loki's smile stretched into a cheeky grin. "Well, you'll never get your chance now." He touched a control on his panel.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c shouted in alarm. "The Laughter is turning towards us and powering up!"

There was no time. The Asgard weapons were down. The Laughter was too close to be stopped.

Loki's Laughter fired again.

* * *

TBC 


	18. Chapter 16

_Previously: _

There was no time. The Asgard weapons were down. The Laughter was too close to be stopped.

Loki's Laughter fired again.

* * *

Before Ella's eyes, the image in the view screen shattered into static only to be replaced by the image of Loki's weapon carving through the hull of the other ship. "Daniel!" she screamed, hoping, praying for some response from the speaker. All she heard was a soft, menacing snicker. 

"Kiss your lover goodbye, Ella." Loki moved to fire again.

"**_NO!"_** Without thinking, Ella launched herself at the alien, knocking Sam free but pulling all three of them to the ground. She landed on top of her target and attacked. She would rip that sonofabitch parasite from her husband's body _herself_, if she had to, but she wouldn't let him hurt another person she loved.

Sam, finding herself free for the first time in days, scrambled to her feet and threw herself at the two men who were coming to their leader's aid.

Ella was by no means a trained fighter, but Daniel had schooled her in self-defense. This was the first time she had ever used it to attack someone. Before Loki got his bearings, she grabbed his hair and slammed his head into the floor. She wanted to hurt him. He had taken so much from her. He would not take Daniel, too. She went to punch him in the face but he captured her hand with his own and started to squeeze.

Sam had been caught in a clumsy half nelson. She turned the advantage to herself by using the added leverage to deliver a deep kick to the stomach of the man who was not holding her. The she shook herself free from her captor and floored him with a knee to his groin. She never saw the Zat gun aimed at her back.

Crushing the bones of Ella's hand until she screamed, Loki flipped Ella onto her back with him on top of her. Unconscious, Samantha crashed to the ground next to them, still twitching from the electricity that had ripped through her body. Loki got to his knees, as he continued to hurt her hand. "What the hell were you thinking?" He sounded winded from the surprise of her attack. "Couldn't bear to see your dear little Daniel get blown straight to hell?"

Ella suppressed further screams of pain. "What the fuck did you do to Sam?"

Loki was handed the serpentine weapon. "First shot stuns, second shot kills." He pointed it at her abdomen. "Would you like to see the effect it has on human fetuses?"

Ella was done with this; his threats, his abuse. She was done. "If you're gonna kill me, kill me" Her voice was flat and cold; furious but not defeated. Daniel might be dead; her husband was more lost to her than ever. She was finished with his games. He would not win this one. "I am through being scared of you."

"Really?" he sneered in response. "What a pity. I have just started being scary." Loki climbed to his feet, reached down and grabbed Ella's shoulders. Then he yanked her up and threw her into the arms of his guards. "Bind her hands. Beam the weapon back on board," he bellowed out orders. "_If_ anyone on that ship survives long enough to get back to Earth, they'll get there just in time to see the charred mess of their planet. I want Thor to see the extent of his failure to protect Earth. Chart a course and get us there, fast. And as for you, _Ella_…you have no idea how scared you can be."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

_Daniel wandered aimlessly down the halls of the SGC. A lullaby was echoing through the air, leading him into a VIP room. On the bed Ella lay on her back, dangling a Goa'uld symbiote in her hands. She was not singing but Daniel continued to hear the lullaby. Ella rolled her eyes in Daniel's direction._

"_Isn't she beautiful, Big Brother?"_

_He tried to yell at her; **Put it down, it will kill you!** But he could make no sound. The music in his head got louder. _

"_Daniel, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" Ella nuzzled the parasite to her cheek as the fanged creature hissed. "Come say hello to your niece." _

_Fluidly, she rolled into a sitting position. The Goa'uld twined itself around her arm and slithered up to her neck. Unhesitatingly, Ella bowed her head. Releasing a final, bloodthirsty hiss, the Goa'uld dove into the tender flesh at the base of Ella's skull. Daniel was helpless to save her or look away._

_Ella blinked up at him and her eyes flashed with hellish fire. "What's wrong, Big Brother?" Only now her voice had the metallic timbre of a Goa'uld. "Why are you looking at me like that? Daniel? Jackson? Jackson, what's wrong? Open your eyes, please. Come on, Jackson. _**Open your eyes!**_"_

Reality returned to Daniel in a rush of pain and confusion. Where was Ella? Why was Cameron Mitchell leaning over him?

"Ella," he gasped. "Where is she?" Daniel tried to sit up too quickly and the world spun around him in sickening loops.

Cam placed his hand on Daniel's shoulder and gently pushed him back down. "Easy there, Jackson. You've been out almost twenty minutes.

Daniel blinked hard, trying to understand what Cam was saying. The bridge was filled with smoke and sparks spewed from several boards. "Where did they go?" His voice was rough from inhaled fumes.

Sitting back on his heels, Cam's shoulder's sagged. "A few moments after firing on us, the Laughter was beamed onto the ship. They opened a hyperspace window and jumped."

"Dammit. Dammit!" Slowly this time, Daniel pushed himself up. Cam helped him lean against the wall. His eyes fell on Jack and Teal'c in the corner. The general was wrapping clean gauze around the larger man's head, covering Teal'c's eyes. Even with the smoke impairing his view, Daniel could see the burn marks on Teal'c's dark skin.

The colonel followed his gaze. "When the Laughter fired on us…Thor's shields just could not stand up to the attack. They collapsed. The console next to Teal'c exploded. He says he will heal…but Gen. O'Neill does not want to take chances. That piece of pipe fell on you," Cam indicated a small and heavy looking metal chunk that lay at Daniel's feet. "The rest of us got tossed around pretty hard." He held up his right hand and Daniel could see that it was swollen to twice its normal size. "Broken or at least badly sprained. I don't know, but it hurts like hell. How are you feeling?"

Daniel's battered mind was not thinking clearly yet. He had heard everything that Cam said, but it did not really register. He just repeated his question: "Where did they go?"

"Earth," Jack O'Neill joined the conversation, leaving Teal'c to rest among the chaos. "As near as Thor can tell, they were headed in the direction of Earth. Seems that Loki wants to finish the game on his old playing ground." Jack prepped two chemical ice packs and handed them to his team, one for Cam's hand and one for Daniel's head.

"But, sir, that doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't he just finish us off here? We were an easy target after that first blast." Cam asked.

"Honestly, I don't know," the general replied. "But my guess is that Loki wants Thor and us to see the destruction he had planned for Earth. Thor told me that the planet that just got hit was where Loki was originally captured and turned over to the High Council. I think some of this is personal. And I think he's probably hoping we will get back there just in time to see the fireball and then destroy us. But it ain't gonna happen."

The pain in Daniel's head made him nauseous but he managed to ask another question. "How is the ship?"

"Not good," Jack answered bluntly. "And the real bitch is that no human knows these ships as well as Sam."

"Sir," Cam offered, "I can't pretend to be as good as her, and I am kinda one-handed at the moment, but Col. Carter taught me some basic Asgard tech stuff, ship first-aid if you will. I can go down there with you and with Thor's help we should be able to jury-rig something together."

"Okay. Thor also thinks that if we can get the ship running again, we have at least one advantage. The Al-Kesh just isn't designed to haul anything as heavy as that weapon seems to be. It will slow them down. We hope. This is gonna be tricky as hell. They will know we are coming so we have to be fast. If we arrive too soon, there is a good chance that he will kill the women." Jack shook away his grim thoughts. "We have to get to work. Daniel," Jack looked at his friend. Daniel's eyes were still clouded with pain. "I'm going to leave you up here to keep an eye on T, okay?"

"Jack," Daniel's eyes met Jack and then the wounded man was unable to say more. But, his thoughts were written across his face.

It was rare these days that Daniel's emotions were so close to the surface. He'd built up a pretty thick layer of defense over the years. Jack knew it was partly Daniel's concussion that was bringing the man so close to breaking. But it was also the fact that it was Ella who was at risk. Ella, the one true constant in Daniel's life. Jack saw Daniel's fear and guilt, the need to protect someone he loved. And Jack knew that his own eyes told the same story. There was nothing that Jack could say to make the situation any better but he had to try. He gripped Daniel's shoulder firmly. "I know, Daniel. But the best chance we have is to get this ship running again."

The words managed to penetrate the fog of Daniel's pain. Jack was right. "Go."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Loki shook with rage. By the time Samantha had woken from her Zat induced sleep, he had realized that the Al-Kesh was not moving at the correct speed. He had not thought to consider the effect of the Laughter's weight. He ordered Sam to do something to the engines and she refused. So he did something he had not done before; he hit her. And still she refused. So he hit her again. And again. And still she denied him.

Anger mounting, Loki turned on Ella. After all, threatening her had always worked in the past to get Sam to follow his orders. But no matter how hard he struck the pregnant woman's face, Sam's answer did not change. And Ella just glared up at him and calmly told him that she had met scarier monsters than he when she was twelve. That was when he backhanded her to unconsciousness.

Now he had his back to the women as he gripped the control console. He was so close to killing one of them he could almost taste it, but he needed them both alive. His desire for Ella's baby had grown, as had his desire for Sam as his mate. What was he supposed to do with these damn women? Was he wrong to keep them alive at all? Loki was not comfortable with second guessing his actions. He was a god. His actions were never wrong. However…

He had known as soon as the other ship entered hyperspace. His enemies had gotten back on their feet far faster than he had expected them to and they were in pursuit. It had been a miscalculation to leave the other ship intact. A mistake…?

No. No! Mentally, Loki shook himself. It had not been a miscalculation. This just increased the challenge. He thrived on challenge. Things had just become more fun, he told himself. Things might be working out differently than he planned, but he would still win. It's what he did.

Loki turned back to face the bridge. His men were manning their stations, charting their progress as well as the other ship. Samantha Carter was sitting in the middle of the floor, cradling Ella's unconscious body to her. When she saw him looking at the two of them, Sam's arms tightened and her jaw clenched. The soldier's impotent fury tickled Loki and he began to laugh. Everything was going to work out just fine. He had nothing to worry about.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

In Jack's mind, it had taken an eternity to get the engines back on-line. But they finally managed. The ship that was stealing Sam and Ella from them had at least a 90-minute lead. Weapons were unsalvageable, shields were shaky, but every man on Thor's ship was determined to catch the enemy they hunted. Thor most of all. The Asgard had given Jack a little history regarding the planet that Loki had attacked. The planet's inhabitants were simple humans, peaceful. They followed the legends of Thor. The only strife that had ever been on the planet had occurred the first time the Goa'uld posing as Loki had gone there. And now, ages later, the Goa'uld had taken his revenge. Thor would see him die for these actions.

Injuries slowly healed. Daniel got back on his feet only to realize he had nothing to do but wait. Teal'c's pain was improving, but Jack would not let him remove his bandages. Conversely, Cam's injured hand just got worse. Everyone realized that the final confrontation would come down to Cam, Teal'c and Thor staying on the ship while Jack and Daniel beamed over for a direct assault.

The rest of the plan would break down to timing and no small measure of luck. Jack wanted to exit hyperspace close enough to the other ship that Daniel and he could beam directly over. This would require the shields to be down. The only time that this was likely to happen would be when the Laughter was being beamed into orbit over Earth. So Thor suggested that they initially came out of hyperspace on the dark side of Earth's moon. Using their sensors, they would know when the other ship's shields were dropped. After that, it was anyone's guess what would happen. Jack was fully prepared to pilot this ship right in front of the Laughter's beam if that was the only way to save his planet. He knew that he would not have enough time to contact the SGC and get any support. Once again, it came down to SG1 to save the planet. Some things never got old.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

He had been right, of course, when he said she had no idea how scared she could be. Now, as Ella gazed down on Earth, her insides had frozen in terror.

When the ship had first stopped, the view of her home had awed Ella with its beauty. Earth from orbit was a sight that the vast majority of humanity would never see. And yet here she was, so close to it's blue, white and green majesty, she felt she could almost touch it. Tears filled her eyes and she forgot all of her pain. A deep, emotional pull emanated from her womb, almost like an ache. "Oh baby," she whispered, laying her bound hands on her belly. "Look at that."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Alex's voice broke through her reverie.

Against her will, her heart skipped. It was Alex's voice. Had he – somehow – She turned to look at him. His beautiful gray eyes flashed with the hated light. He smiled.

"We're home, darling." Loki continued to use her husband's voice. It was salt on an unhealed wound.

"Please don't do this," Ella pleaded, softly.

"Don't do what?" was the innocuous reply.

Ella glanced back at the planet. It was her home. Every person she had ever loved, every child she ever cared for, every memory she had was here. She would sacrifice everything she was if she must but she could not let him unleash his Laughter on Earth.

"Please – Lord Loki - " god, that almost choked her, "I'll do whatever you want, I'll stop fighting, just don't use your weapon on Earth." A tear spilled down her cheek before she could catch it.

"Oh my darling," his lips pressed against the salty trail of her tear and then he resumed his regular voice, "you'll be doing that anyway. Come." He dragged her wrists and dragged her towards the console.

"No! Please don't do this!" Ella's frantic struggles increased, but his hold on her was like iron. Sam tried to fight as well, but a guard held her back, her hands strapped behind her. Nether woman was able to break away.

Loki slapped a button on his console and Ella saw the Laughter materialize in space. Slowly it rotated toward the planet's surface. Heart pounding, Ella's vision began to gray and she feared that she might faint.

"Sir! We have - " the shouted alarm was silenced as the man was hit with an electrical charge. Loki wrapped his arm around Ella's neck and roughly pulled her to him as Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson stormed onto the bridge. Finally seeing an opening, Sam dropped all of her weight to the floor. The surprised guard lost his grip and Jack knocked him out with a Zat blast. Neither Jack not Sam noticed that the remaining guard was hiding behind the door until Jack was also felled by a Zat blast. Before the man could fire a second time, Sam kicked the gun out of his hand and then pivoted and kicked the man's legs out from underneath him.

Daniel was in a face off with Loki. The Goa'uld was aiming a handgun at Daniel and was gripping Ella as a shield, cutting off a good amount of her oxygen.

"Lower your weapon, Dr. Jackson," the Goa'uld smiled broadly, but his flashing eyes promised death.

"I don't think so."

"And if you don't, you'll be wiping pieces of your girlfriend from your glasses." He turned the gun to Ella's head. "Don't think I won't do it."

Ella met Daniel's eyes and she saw his struggle. He could not just let her die. She knew he couldn't. But she also knew that the snake-shaped gun in Daniel's hand was the only thing standing between Loki and Earth. _No, Daniel, _she wanted to yell as she saw his hand begin to shake, just a little. _Don't you dare. It's not worth it! **I'm **not worth it._ Knowing that Daniel couldn't do it, Ella made the decision for him.

Relying on the most basic self-defense Daniel ever taught her, Ella lifted her right foot and crunched it onto Loki's toes. The idiot never wore shoes. Then she slammed her elbow deep into her enemy's solar plexus. Mimicking Sam, Ella dropped her weight downward, breaking free. Daniel's Zat blast screamed over her head, singing the tips of her hair.

Hand's stinging from hitting the ground, Ella scrambled over to her husband's insensate body. "Alex? Alex!"

Before she could do more than touch his hair, Daniel grabbed her back. "No. It's not Alex, yet. But it will be."

"First shot stuns, second shot kills, right?" She remembered.

"Yes."

She couldn't tear her eyes away from the man on the floor. Her husband, her terror. The father of her child. It was almost more than she could bear. "Don't shoot him again."

"I won't. I promise. But I am going to sedate him." Daniel released her shoulders and knelt down, finding the hypodermic needle that Dr. Lam had provided him. Injecting the sedative into Alex's arm, Daniel looked back up at his friend. He saw the fresh bruises on her face, marks that had not been there when they had spoken through the view screen. He noticed her injured hands, scabbed, bruised and swollen. "Let's get these things off of you." He pulled a small knife from his vest and sliced through the plastic straps that were cutting into her wrists. The he gently took her hands into his own. "It's over Ella."

She looked deep into his eyes. "Can you get him back for me?"

"Yes, we can."

"_Then_ it will be over." Daniel pulled Ella into his arms and rested his chin on her hair. Slowly, Ella wrapped her arms around her friend and tried to remember what it felt like to be safe.

"Oh, god," Jack's groan cut through the heavy silence. "I'd almost forgot how much that hurt."

Daniel and Ella turned around. Sam was standing on the neck of the man she had kicked over. Jack was slowly getting back on his feet.

"So, did we save the planet? Everybody live?" Jack asked the room in general.

Everyone looked at Ella who silently looked down at her husband. Daniel tightened his arms around her.

"Jack," Sam said, smiling beautifully at him, "let's go home."

* * *

TBC 


	19. Chapter 19

_Author's Note:_ _Here it is! The final chapter and it's long. And as it is the final chapter, you know I want to hear from you. Please R&R. Thanks!_

_

* * *

_

_Previously: _

She looked deep into his eyes. "Can you get him back for me?"

"Yes, we can."

"Then it will be over."

* * *

Ella lay flat in her back, her feet propped up in stirrups at the SGC's infirmary. _Where it all began, _she thought to herself. Dr. Lam had insisted on doing a pelvic exam to check on her baby's health along with everything else that required medical attention. MRI's had been done on her hands, revealing nothing greater than severe tendon strains on her right hand and deep bruising on both. Her right hand was now bandaged and braced. An ice pack was sitting on her left. 

Ella and the team had been beamed straight from Loki's ship to the military base. She really did not like being transported that way. Sam tried to explain the process, but Jack asked her to stop. All Ella needed to hear was "disassembled at the molecular level" for her heartbeat to increase and her face to blanche. It had been scary enough when she hadn't known what was happening.

Once they all arrived in one piece, Teal'c had been the medical priority. The painful electrical burns around his eyes were bad, but he swore that his vision was improving. After seeing the damage to Col. Mitchell's hand, Ella had tried to insist that he be seen before her, but everyone disagreed. Ella was handed over to the care of Dr. Lam without further delay. She liked this serious and petite doctor.Dr. Lamhad a gentle touch and, more importantly, warm hands.

As she lay there, she tried to relax, but couldn't. She wasn't just an average pregnant woman receiving standard prenatal care. She was being treated at a top-secret medical facility after having been abducted by an alien who had possessed her husband, for god's sake! "Relaxed" was not in her vocabulary. But even as these thoughts went through her mind, the "therapist" side of her knew she was still trying to maintain some detachment from the horrors of the past few days. If her mind went too far into it, she would be useless to everyone. She needed to be there when Alex woke up.

_**If** Alex woke up,_ a voice whispered in her head. Daniel had sounded very assuring when he told her about the surgery that her husband was about to go through, but his eyes told her the truth. Alex's life was in danger, still. Ella may be back on Earth, but how would she ever be "home" if Alex was not with her?

"All right, everything looks good." Dr. Lam snapped off her latex gloves. Then she helped her patient out of the stirrups and elevated the bed to a sitting position. "How does your head feel?" A physician's assistant had cleaned and bandaged the wound on Ella's forehead.

"It still hurts, but the aspirin is helping," Ella answered. "Of course without my glasses, it will be back. I haven't seen them in days so I guess they are still on the damn ship."

"If you give me the name of your eye doctor, we can order some new ones." The doctor made a note in Ella's chart. "Ella, I need to ask, do you have an obstetrician?"

It seemed so weird to be having this normal "baby" conversation. It was such a simple pleasure. She sighed. "Um, no. I just found out I was pregnant when Alex – was taken. I guess I need to get on that."

"If it's all right with you, I would like to speak to the General about transferring your care to the Air Force hospital. The first trimester is the most critical time in a pregnancy and you are coming in with some unusual circumstances."

"Really?" Ella was able to give a small smile. "Would you be my doctor?"

Dr. Lam smiled back. "I am not a trained OB, but I would love to stay involved in your care. Like I told you before, it's not often that I get to help bring new people in to the world these days."

"That would help." Ella blinked back some unwanted tears. "I don't tend to like doctors, so it's rare that I find one I trust."

The doctor patted her hand. "We will find you the best and nicest one there, I promise. And now, if you are ready for it, I am pretty sure you have a visitor." She pulled open the curtain and revealed Daniel Jackson, pacing near Ella's bed. "Hello, Dr. Jackson."

He seemed embarrassed to be caught. "Um, hi."

"I have to check on some other patients, Ella, but I'll get on your paperwork right away. Dr. Jackson, I've ordered some food for Ella. Please make sure she eats it." The young doctor walked away, granting the old friends some privacy.

Daniel and Ella looked at each other. There was an awkward silence, until Ella finally looked away. She saw that Teal'c was in a bed at the other end of the room, presumably sleeping while he healed. Guilt twisted in her stomach.

In the immediate aftermath of her rescue, she had not thought about everything that had happened during her imprisonment. People that she knew had been hurt trying to save her. Humans on a planet she had never even known about had died at her hand. Daniel must be so disappointed in her. After all, it seemed he had been fighting these creatures for almost ten years. She had barely survived one encounter.

Then she looked back at him. Daniel had wrapped his arms tightly around his chest. In his blue eyes, all she saw was his own fear, his fear that his life was too dangerous for her and her new family and that she would choose to abandon their friendship. She opened her arms to him.

Grateful, he wrapped his arms around her. There was tension in her body overlaying a very delicate emotional state. He knew her well enough to recognize a façade when he saw one. It was taking everything she had not to fall apart. He was feeling pretty fragile himself, but he pushed that aside to be strong for Ella. It was what she needed.

They held on for several minutes without speaking. When they finally pulled apart, Daniel reached into his pocket and withdrew Ella's glasses.

"Oh my gosh, where did you find them?" Ella's vision was not terrible, but as soon as she slipped her glasses on, she could feel the eyestrain vanish.

"They were in Lo – _Alex's_ clothes. In his shirt pocket." Daniel answered.

She sagged back onto the bed. "God, one more thing."

There was another silence, but this one did not feel as uncomfortable.

"So," Daniel said at last, "I guess I have a few things to tell you."

"_Can_ you?" she asked. "Tell me, that is? All this time, it's been classified, or something we just didn't talk about." She would not push him. She knew enough now to know that she wasn't sure if she wanted to know more.

"Well, you will be signing some papers promising the government that you won't be telling anyone else about what has happened here, but you should know some of this. You will need it to help Alex."

"Okay."

So he told her. It took a long time. He told her everything that he could, how the Stargate was found, how the Goa'uld started a war with Earth. He told her the truth about Sha're, putting tears in both of their eyes, now that Alex had been in such a similar position. When he got to the time of his ascension, she stopped him.

"Is this about when you… 'died'?" she interrupted, making little quote marks with her fingers.

He nodded, "Yes."

Her mouth twisted as she chewed her lip and looked down at her lap. "Can we – not – go into that? I just can't talk about that, not right now."

"Of course." After all of this time, it still hurt her. He tended to forget that. He was quiet for a moment, thinking, and then he linked his fingers with her left hand. "Ella? What did he do to you?"

She became very still and then pulled her hand away. Carefully flexing her fingers, she started to speak. "He knew everything. Good or bad. And he turned it all against me. My whole life became a weapon. He knew about my childhood, he found out about you and I," she looked up to see that he knew what she meant. "He knew everything that I have ever been afraid of. He made me beg." Unconsciously, Ella started to lightly nip at the skin on the top of her thumb. When she realized what she was doing, she flattened her hand on her lap. "And none of that even comes close what he almost did to you and what he made me do...It was me. He made me fire that weapon on the planet. I tried to stop him but I couldn't. He was so damn strong." Her voice broke and her eyes were awash with unshed tears, but she still could not let go.

Daniel placed his hands on her face and drew her close again. Kissing her lightly on her forehead, he assured her, "It wasn't your fault. Whatever happened, it was not your fault."

She clung to the truth in his words. Taking an unsteady breath, she wiped her eyes. "When will we hear about Alex?"

Daniel glanced at his watch. "I don't really know. Soon, I hope."

Just as he finished talking, Col. Mitchell ran in the room. "Jackson. Ma'am, your husband is out of surgery. Looks like he is going to be fine."

"Oh, thank god." Daniel's posture sagged as the news sunk in. Ella just closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips to her lips.

When she opened her eyes again, her green irises were burning. "What about – _it_? The thing, the alien?"

Cameron looked uncomfortable at her question and he glanced at Daniel. "It's alive, too. Thor wants to take it."

"Isn't Thor the one who lost it in the first place?" The men were surprised that Ella knew that. "Loki told me."

"That's sort of the case, but not entirely," Daniel tried to explain. "The real Loki is an Asgard, like Thor. This Goa'uld had taken Loki a long time ago and when the Asgard got their Loki free, he wanted to keep the symbiote. Long story short, that was how he got loose."

"How do we know the…Asgard…won't let him loose him again?" she asked.

"Thor told me this time the symbiote would die," was all Daniel could tell her.

"I want to see it," Ella stated.

"What?" asked Cameron at the same time Daniel spluttered, "Why?"

"I _want_ to _see_ it," she repeated, steel creeping into her voice. "Daniel, I need to. I need to see that it wasn't Alex..." Her voice trailed off, but he knew where her thoughts were going.

"Ella…"

"Daniel?"

"…okay."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ella walked down the hallway with Daniel. As she neared the lab, her body began to numb from fear. Clothes had been scrounged up for her and the ill-fitting men's style blue BDUs just added to the sense of unreality that was suffocating her. But she continued forward.

At the doorway, Ella stopped, Daniel waiting patiently behind her. He rested his hand on her shoulder. "Just take a breath."

Daniel had described the Goa'uld as "pure evil." Ella needed to see what that looked like; otherwise she knew that her nightmares would all wear her husband's face. Breathing deep, she crossed the threshold and stared into the glass tank in the center of the room.

It was worse than she could ever have imagined. It looked like a snake that had been crossbred with a Japanese throwing star. It turned and bared its four-pronged mouth at her, making her jump. Daniel steadied her from behind.

That thing had been inside her husband? That _thing _had touched and kissed her? It had wanted to hurt her baby? She could not look away.

"How did it - " she cleared her throat and tried to firm up her voice – "how did it get into Alex?"

"It, um, it enters the back of the neck and wraps around the brain stem and the spinal cord."

She pressed her fingers to the warm glass and leaned closer. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes." Daniel whispered.

She continued to stare at the foul creature. "Can I have a moment alone, please?" Her voice was flat and toneless, but the tank's light illuminated the raging grief in her eyes.

"I don't want to leave you with this," he protested.

"It can't hurt me now, can it?"

Ella had always preferred to face her demons and Daniel wanted to give her that chance but this was different. He hesitated before finally agreeing. "All right. I'll be right outside the door." He motioned for the guard to follow him and stepped outside the lab.

It wasn't long before a giant crash made all of the men race back into the room. Broken glass and symbiote medium littered the floor. At her feet lay a very dead Goa'uld, smashed and severed into two pieces.

Ella dropped the fire extinguisher from her hands and flicked some water from her glasses. Eyes clear and calm, she said, "I'd like to see my husband now."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A guard stayed in the medical isolation room, but Ella barely noticed him. She sat by Alex's bedside and was shocked to see that he looked no different. His skin was almost glowing with health. The bed had been elevated to take pressure off of his neck where the bandages were visible.

She wondered if he would remember anything or if it would be her burden to tell. Would he even still be the man she knew and loved or was he lost to her? Ella felt like a giant raw and exposed nerve. Seeking some comfort, Ella rested her head on Alex's chest. She could hear his heart beating behind its delicate cage of bone. Wanting more, she raised the palm of his hand to her lips and inhaled. Only traces of his personal scent lingered, faint whiffs of ink pens and fresh paper. Hospital smells interfered with everything else. She placed his hand on her head and closed her eyes. Exhaustion overwhelmed her.

She awoke with a start when Alex's hands began to move through her hair. Holding her breath, Ella looked up at him, fearing what she might see. Alex met her gaze with vague and confused eyes.

"Are you real?" he asked faintly.

She took his hand and sat up. "Yes. I'm real."

"Are you really here?"

"Yes, Alex. I'm really here. I'm with you. This is real."

"I kept screaming for you, but you couldn't hear me." Alex's voice was still weak but his eyes remained locked onto hers.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry my love." She rose up and held his face, kissing him gently.

He traced her features with his thumb, feeling the swellings, seeing all her bruises. "Oh my god. What did I do to you?"

She say down on his bed and pulled him to her. "Nothing. You did nothing. It wasn't you Alex."

"I'm sorry," he started to cry. "I tried to stop him but I couldn't. I couldn't do – anything! Did I – did I hurt – is the baby okay? Did I hurt our baby?"

"No. The baby is fine. _I'm_ fine. You did nothing wrong. I love you, Alex. I know that you would never hurt me." Alex continued to cry uncontrollably as he begged for forgiveness. Ella rocked him in her arms, telling him that she loved him and that he was safe. Repeating over and over that none of this was his fault and that their baby was going to grow up beautiful, strong and safe. She told him there was nothing to forgive.

Hidden in the dark observation room, Daniel watched the lovers reunite. His memories of Sarah Gardner's recovery were still fresh in his mind. She was doing very well these days, but it had been a long journey. Alex's healing would be hard but Daniel knew that Ella would be there every step of the way. Daniel would be there for both of them. Ella was maintaining a strong front and Daniel knew that that was what she needed right now. But Daniel would be there when the front collapsed.

The door opened and Dr. Lam slipped in. She stood beside Daniel and watched the scene below.

"I should go in there," she said as Ella continued to sooth her husband.

"Can you give them another moment?" Daniel asked. "Just let him learn where he is before he has strangers to deal with."

Dr. Lam had never dealt with a former Goa'uld host, so she agreed to follow Daniel's advice.

"How is he?" Daniel asked.

"Physically, Dr. Portmanoy is fine. Great, in fact, except for some bruising on his toes. The symbiotes really do deliver on the promise of good health." The young woman sounded bitter. "I hear that we no longer have a symbiote to deal with?"

"Yeah, El decided to take matters into her own hands. If I had been thinking, I never would have let her alone in the room." In his mind's eye, Daniel saw Ella's revenge going horribly wrong and the symbiote surviving and stealing her from him. He suppressed a shudder.

"Well, I for one have no problem with that thing being dead."

"Neither do I." The words sounded cold to his ears, but he meant it. Briefly, his mind flickered back to a tank, filled with larval Goa'uld, a gun in his hand…

Dr. Lam looked up at him with sad, beautiful eyes. "I know that you helped a friend through this before. Dr. Potmanoy is going to be transferred to the Air Force hospital for his recovery time. He's going to need your help with this."

"Of course," he replied. "Whatever's needed."

She smiled and placed her hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. "I should get down to my patients. General Landry would like to see you in ten minutes."

"Thanks." As she turned and walked away, Daniel was surprised to realize that his arm was tingling, just a little, where she had touched him.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ella had no idea what time it was when Alex finally fell into a drug-induced sleep. It seemed that he had cried for hours, slipping between clarity and hysteria. Every time, she and Dr. Lam talked him back from the edge. They worked together to keep him in the present. It was hell.

She was so tired that her legs barely supported her as she stumbled into the VIP room. As she lay on the bed, she felt so tired, so very cold and alone.

The tears came. Soon she was crying so hard she was screaming. Stuffing a pillow in her mouth so no noise came out, Ella's grief continued to rip her apart.

She didn't hear anyone come in the room and she did not notice him climb into bed with her. All that she knew was that one minute she was alone and the next minute Daniel was there. Lying behind her, he pulled her close and warmed her. He held her as she cried, sharing his strength when she had none.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

OoOoOoOoOoOo

OoOoOoOoOo

OoOoOoOo

OoOoOo

OoOo

Oo

_A certain number of months later…_

A large teddy bear head poked around the door-frame of Ella's hospital room. Its fuzzy brown arm quirked in a friendly wave.

"Daniel, I'm not pregnant anymore. Ridiculous cuteness no longer has the power to make me cry."

Daniel's bespectacled face peeked into her room. "I was afraid you would be mad at me for missing the big event."

"Get in here, you goof. It's not your fault everything happened two weeks early."

He walked into the room and kissed her on her forehead. Then he looked down at the sleeping baby in her arms. "Wow. So this is she."

"Yup. Daniel Jackson, meet your niece, Daniela Samantha Portmanoy."

Daniel had not been told what Alex and Ella's were planning to name their baby. She was pleased to see his surprised delight sparkle in his eyes.

"You…"

"We named her after you. After us, really. All of us."

He traced his finger across the baby's fuzzy scalp. "El, she is beautiful."

Daniel was always so smart. "She really is."

"Can I hold her?"

She gave him a slightly suspicious glance that greatly amused him. "Please? I washed my hands."

"Okay," she reluctantly agreed. "But sit down."

"You know, I have _delivered_ babies before. I handle ancient artifacts on a daily basis. I think I can be trusted to hold my niece."

"That's great. And if you were to drop my child, I promise you that no alien would ever be as scary as I would become. Now sit!"

He sat. Pulling his chair closer, he lifted the feather-weight bundle of blankets and tiny human out of her mother's arms. Daniel knew it was a cliché, but the baby seemed so amazing to him. One thing he had learned while Ascended was that it all came down to this. New life. Even in the darkest times, life continued and started anew. It was the most exquisite of every day miracles.

"Where's Alex?" he finally asked.

Ella was trying to find a new sitting position. Her body hurt in new and unusual ways and comfort was eluding her. "I sent him home for a shower. It was very necessary." She shoved a pillow behind her low back and another under her knees. "I am really glad that the SGC got the message to you that I went into labor."

"Are you kidding? Practically the whole base was waiting for me when I came back. Everybody is excited. I called Jack on my way over and he is coming to town as soon as his schedule permits. Which means tomorrow or the day after. He is crazy about kids."

"Do you think him and Sam…" Ella trailed off, discretely.

"I don't know," he answered. "I hope so. I know Jack wants to have another child and Sam wants to have one, but with everything that's been happening on base, it's been hard enough for them to plan a wedding. One problem at a time."

"When is the date?" She lay her head back and watched Daniel play with the baby's fingers.

"They finally nailed it down. I have your invitation on my desk at work. It's in two months. As I was dashing towards the gate, Sam actually yelled at me that you are to bring the baby with you to the wedding." He laughed. "She's a little obsessed these days."

"Don't be too hard on her. Everyone looks to the bride to plan the whole thing. Even simple affairs can be overwhelming. And it's not like Sam doesn't have her plate full enough."

They were both quiet for a few moments. "Welcome to the world, little Daniela," Daniel whispered to his niece.

"It's Hebrew," she told him. Her voice sounded dreamy and sleepy. "I wanted her to have pieces of all of you; your inquisitiveness, Alex's heart, Sam's compassion. And I figured that a combination of your mental skills would hurt no one."

"She got your strength," Daniel smiled up at her.

"And I got that from my mother," she smiled back. They shared one of those odd, unspoken moments that reaffirmed their bond, the reason they first met. They were orphans, yes, but neither counted him- nor herself as an "unmothered child." Their parents' time in this life had been tragically short, but both had been loved a lifetime's worth. Claire and Melbourne Jackson and Marie McPherson lived on in the hearts and souls of their children. Ella had her mother's hair and her mother's laugh. Daniel saw his mother's eyes every time he looked in the mirror and his father was reflected in the shape of his hands and his height. Their parents had never really left them. Now, Ella and Alex had started the next generation that would carry on her mother's legacy of strength and courage.

Ella closed her eyes and rested. She was tired and sore and unbelievably happy. It had taken so long to get here. It felt like another life time since Alex had spun her around in the tiny house, so happy that they were going to have a child.

Healing from their abductions had been a slow process. Alex spent some time as a patient at the Air Force hospital, discussing his experience with mental health experts. And all the while he was healing, he was expected to talk with military officials and share everything that he could about Goa'uld technology. After his experience with the NID so many years ago,Alex was afraid not to cooperate, but he deeply feared that the Laughter would get built again. Thor had been prescient enough to destroy the weapon on his way home, but certain Air Force officials were leaning on Alex to recreate it. Though he never complained, Ella could see thatthese "interviews," with all of their veiled threats regarding both his past and his future,left Alex scared and drained. She started to fear that Alex was close to relapsing to the mental state he was in during his initial days in the SGC. Without telling anyone else, she had a private conversation with Jack O'Neill. After that, the pressure on her husband ceased. Jack even loaned them his vacation house. Alex and Ella spent a full month out there, hiding from the world, exploring each other and healing. Jack and Sam visited for a weekend and the couples cooked out and relaxed together. Daniel visited with Teal'c and Carolyn Lam. Carolyn said she was coming only to check up on her patients but Ella watched the doctor and Daniel together. Something was happening there, she just knew it.

After the drama of her first month, Ella's pregnancy passed uneventfully. She took an extended leave of absence from work to be there for Alex. She missed her job, but at least the government was taking care of them financially and medically. One less thing to worry about.

Her light doze was deepening into sleep when she was awakened by her husband's kiss. "Mmm, you shaved." She smiled sleepily at him.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked.

"Well, I've now had at least five minutes of sleep, so I should be good for the next 18 years," she laughed back at him.

Little Daniela started to cry. "I think you are not the only one waking up, El." Daniel handed the baby back. Ella undid her robe and started to feed her daughter. They were still learning the mechanics of breast-feeding and she did not remember reading in the books that it could sometimes hurt. But she was learning.

"Congratulations, Alex. She's perfect." Daniel gave the new father a hug.

Alex could not stop smiling. "Thanks. I am glad you were able to make it. We are all going home tomorrow, but the house is a sight. We were supposed to have two more weeks to go and there is just all of this little stuff that feels undone. But, whatever, it can wait," he babbled happily.

"Exactly." Daniel liked to see these two so at peace. He couldn't think of anyone else who deserved it more.

"So, sweetie," Ella took Alex's hand. "Shall we tell him now?"

"It's my news, I want to tell him" Alex told her.

"Well then, tell him damn it. I hate keeping secrets."

"Didn't we talk about the swearing in front of the baby?"

"Yes, and I broke most of those promises as I was birthing her, so too late now. Tell him."

Daniel was perplexed by the little exchange between the new parents. "Tell me what?"

Alex turned to him. "I am coming to work for the SGC."

If Alex had suddenly sprouted a second head, Daniel could not have been more surprised. "Really?"

"Yep. I want to go back to medicine. I never wanted to leave it, but after what happened – but I'm ready now. I'll finish up my residency in the infirmary and I think my background in astrophysics will be somewhat helpful," he finished, wryly.

"This is incredible. I can't believe - " He didn't finish what he was thinking, that he was surprised Ella was letting him do this, but he could see from the look on Ella's face that she was not entirely happy about Alex's new job.

"We've talked about it, _extensively_." She gave a brave smile. "Alex has missed medicine for so long and I never even knew. It's what he wants to do and I want him to be happy."

"And now that we know what is out there, we want to help." Alex had eyes for no one but his wife and child.

"This is wonderful. I am just so surprised, after everything the government the government and the military has put you through, that you would ever want to work with us."

Ella snorted but Alex ignored it. "That was a consideration, but this is more important. And Sam told me that with the naquadah that was left in my blood, I could possibly be even more helpful. Of course, what I would really love to do is be trained to work with the off-world medical response teams." A small sound of protest came from his wife, and Alex sobered up. He was under strict instructions to take no jobs that would get him shot at. "But this is enough." Daniel had told them the truth about Janet Fraiser's fate. Alex and Ella had been stricken to hear that the beautiful woman who had been so friendly at their wedding had not died in a car accident but from a Goa'uld attack.

"This is wonderful. When do you start?"

"Soon. I don't have a date yet, but once everything starts settling down, General Landry told me to call him."

While the baby fed, the friends chatted happily. There was so much that Daniel knew Ella and Alex still did not know about his life. Now, Alex was throwing himself willingly into Daniel's world. A world of secrets and death; Goa'uld and Orii. It saddened Daniel, but he knew that an experience like what Alex had survived changed a man. Alex had to join the fight. Whether he was looking at the whole world, or just his wife and child, Alex saw people who needed protection. Daniel recognized Ella's sacrifice as well in letting Alex take this job. Everyone lost something in a war. But as Daniel watched the new parents, he knew that this fight was worth it.

As Alex continued to ramble on, Ella looked over at Daniel. She saw the shadows in his eyes, but she winked at him to make him smile. Daniel pushed his sadness away. At this moment there was a new baby that needed love and a ridiculous amount of spoiling. There was nothing more important than that.

* * *

The End 


End file.
